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Worst lines you've ever read in a book

:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018   General Artist
Pretty bored, So just give me the worst line you can think of, Let's make it fun ^^
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:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist

I wouldn’t call this the worst, but it was one of the most hilariously bad deliveries I’ve read. From the Michael Crichton/Richard Preston collaboration Micro:

 

“Inside the rooms, several lab benches stood out, and on the benches sat a series of objects draped in black cloth shrouds.

The shrouds concealed the objects.”

:| (Blank Stare) 

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:iconblahkeehookeyhee:
BlahKeeHookeyHee Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2018
ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to do with the whole “chaos theory” stuff In the two Jurassic Park novels!
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:iconnebuladreams:
NebulaDreams Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2018  Student Writer
Also, any use of slang from David Duchovny's Holy Cow counts as well. You can tell something is painfully forced when cows start calling each other 'bae'.
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:iconlegacy-galaxy:
Legacy-Galaxy Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The whole "evil chicken scene" from the Sword of Truth.
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Edited Jun 17, 2018   General Artist
I just heard a pretty funny one

"A long yellow booger of curry rolled down his black apron"

from the Novel 36 Questions That Changed My Mind About You

Just tossing it into the pile
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:iconlegacy-galaxy:
Legacy-Galaxy Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
How about some of Stephenie Meyer's supposedly "deep" jargon?

Describing someone as a "destroying angel" is basically calling them a mushroom. A mushroom that can kill you, yes, hence the name, but a mushroom nonetheless. There's also the whole "glowering sky" bit, which is supposed to convey the image of a cloudy grey day, but if you know the definition of "glower", it makes it sound like the sky itself is staring down at you in disappointment!
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2018   General Artist
Oh my... I've never heard of a destroying angel XD I imagine the sky is quite dissatisfied with being mentioned in that thing called a book
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:iconh-swilliams:
H-SWilliams Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018
" 'Snape!' ejaculated Slughorn, who looked the most shaken, pale and sweating."

Probably not the worst, but it certainly breaks the flow when reading a children's book.
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:iconlegacy-galaxy:
Legacy-Galaxy Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"SNAPE!!" He nutted with fear in his eyes.
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:iconnebuladreams:
NebulaDreams Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Student Writer
Quoting from Fifty Shades of Grey is like shooting fish in a barrel, so I'm going with this one from Chapter 16.5 from the novel of Sword Art Online:

"Two years worth of semen made a glopping noise as it flowed endlessly into Asuna."

This is official, by the way.
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:icontinselfire:
Tinselfire Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2018
SAO began at rock bottom and worked very hard to claw its way out, to their eventual success. Unfortunately, the map was upside down.
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2018   General Artist
That line is just... Ewww... Who wrote that?!
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:iconnebuladreams:
NebulaDreams Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2018  Student Writer
Reki Kawahara. Mind you, it's non-canon, but it's still vile considering it came from the official creator.
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2018   General Artist
Oh... My goodness, I'm glad it's non-canon, If I wrote that I'd just like to pretend I never wrote it
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:icongrendalunleashed:
GrendalUnleashed Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Professional General Artist
"it was the best of times it was the worst of times" and then the whole of the book obsesses with the 'worst of times' part of the opening statement.
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018   General Artist
Oh... Where did that come from? I've heard of it before
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:icongrendalunleashed:
GrendalUnleashed Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Professional General Artist
Much quoted it originates from the novel 'A tale of two cities'.
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2018   General Artist
Oh... I recognize it
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:iconfoxymirage526:
FoxyMirage526 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
All of fifty shades its awful
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018   General Artist
I agree
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:iconandrewallanfaulkner:
AndrewAllanFaulkner Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Professional Writer
Utopia by Thomas Paine. All of it... I truly tried reading a page and darn near fell asleep.
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:iconc-91:
C-91 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto.
I admit I haven't read that book, but afaik it's full of such magnificent lines.
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:iconnebuladreams:
NebulaDreams Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Student Writer
Beat me to the punch. There are so many lines from that series that could be contenders for 'worst lines in literature history'. My favourite is:

"
His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel... or something."
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:iconc-91:
C-91 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh man, that one is quite embarassing as well! :stare:
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:iconnebuladreams:
NebulaDreams Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Student Writer
It reads like a line from a shitty romantic fanfiction! Oh, wait...
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:iconc-91:
C-91 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Laugh LOL 
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018   General Artist
I've read about 6 chapters, It's a lot more boring than I wish it was

That line though... Amazingly bad
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:iconc-91:
C-91 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So bad it's good! :lmao:
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:iconnottheedgey:
NottheEdgey Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know that this book is bashed a million times. I know that people have moved on.

But this line is so awful.

You’re interesting when you sleep. You talk.


spoiler: its from twilight.
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2018   General Artist
Just... Creepy to me
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:iconlegacy-galaxy:
Legacy-Galaxy Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That line reminds me of a character in my own little Gijinka AU. He talks in his sleep, and not just occasional mutterances either. You might be able to hear him actually conversing with someone in his dream, and he sounds awake when he's doing it!
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:iconkyrtuck:
kyrtuck Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
"he's a prodigy too, and not just an average one"

from Legend by Marie Lu.
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2018   General Artist
I've never heard of a average prodigy before
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:iconkyrtuck:
kyrtuck Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
I know, its so ridiculous.
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:iconlegacy-galaxy:
Legacy-Galaxy Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
All I remember of a particular line in Lord of the Flies is "an ancient civilization that had forgotten about him and was now in ruins", I think that's how it goes.
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:iconultimatecluckinbell:
UltimateCluckinbell Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018   General Artist
Oh... Uhhhhh, Wow, And everyone still tells me I should read that book, Do you think it's a good book? Or should I just pass on this one?
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:icontinselfire:
Tinselfire Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2018
Do read it, but know that most everything that has been said about that book, especially the lofty claims about it being some deep analysis of human nature or a commentary on power dynamics, are just flat out lies.

It is a book about boys who hate each other left on an island without adult supervision, and the obvious happens. The end.
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:iconlegacy-galaxy:
Legacy-Galaxy Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's stupid.
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