James Gonds
The name's Gonds. James Gonds.
I have with me the documents I have stolen from you. I shall reveal your secrets to the world, no matter how inappropriate or top secret they may be, while I enjoy this martini.
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Jokes on you, I can't write so the documents are empty! 
I can write stuff in them.Huh, I completely forgot about this thread.
I completely forgot about the internet this month.
B-B-BB-B-B-B-BUT IF THEY FIND OUT I'LL BE RUINED 
...
...MORE RUINED 
There's a photograph here showing you in the vicinity of a dog! It's going to take $33,000, a milkshake and a helicopter with guaranteed safe passage to Mars to keep this quiet!...What brand of milkshake? 
I have no secrets. Believe me~ 
I have proof here that you killed Kennedy.
.... 
I'll be honest, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD.
According to this, you secretly love silver.
Tell the truth!
But why?! 
What benefit does this have to you?!
What benefit does this have to you?!
It's for blackmailing everybody. None shall escape. No amount of dignity will be spared.
I like having some dignity though!I can provide 17% dignity left, depending on your insurance policy.
I have a very good insurance! 
So I'll take it!
So I'll take it!
What documents?! I thought I'd burned them all!
Opens folder. A pile of ash falls out.
![Mio (Surprised) [V2]](https://orig00.deviantart.net/d05d/f/2015/025/c/7/c73e909219913ffef41de3e889202907-d8ffyz7.gif)
Oh.
Oh.
No! My Christmas tree bondage photoshoot! 
Staring into folder.
.....We can share and if you keep your mouth shut there will be more 
*Scribbling notes*
...
Excuse me! This is a private conversation about BDSM trees
Excuse me! This is a private conversation about BDSM trees