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March 7
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why none of my bulls is producing milk -its annoying

:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2018
i bought two bulls last week because i'm always running out of milk for my breakfast cereals, except they won't produce any milk and its annoying me.
here's to another dry cereal. i was told i should get a cow if i wanted milk, but cows give birth and i don't like cows. i want bulls, so i can have more bulls when they start reproducing
anybody has any idea why this is? 
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Devious Comments

:icondoc-skitz:
Doc-Skitz Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You should give up farming, last month the roosters you had didn't lay eggs for your egg farm, now the bulls won't produce milk. You have no luck as a farmer, take my advice, leave it to the experts! Perhaps you could be a shepherd.
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018
no
i will not be stopped
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:icondoc-skitz:
Doc-Skitz Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
What the hell is wrong with cornering the silk trade with earthworms, it's brilliant. I got the finest worms from over a septic tank, none under 6" long and 1/2" around. They will be great producers!
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018   Writer
:lol: I really wonder whose alt you are...
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018
im not an alt :o
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018   Writer
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018
thats probably mike's 
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:iconwynautwarrior:
WynautWarrior Featured By Owner Edited Mar 8, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
Ok, let me tell you what no one else is telling you. Bulls can't produce milk. They are male cows and don't biologically. You have to use the cows buddy. No way around it.
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
no freaking way
then explain to me where bulls come from?
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:iconwynautwarrior:
WynautWarrior Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
The same place where cows come from, genius. They come from mother cows.
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018
this is confusing
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:iconwynautwarrior:
WynautWarrior Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
Welp, the real world is confusing.
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:iconthundersnowolf:
ThunderSnowolf Featured By Owner Edited Mar 8, 2018  Professional Filmographer
You not liking cows is sexist! Say that when you see female moose!
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
is not!
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:icon36theory:
36Theory Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
You can produce milk from bulls...


But it's slimy.
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018   Writer
:giggle:
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
so what
i always wanted to make slime
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:iconamo-angelus:
amo-angelus Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018  Professional Artisan Crafter
You need a maid to milk a bull, every stroke a bucketful
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
are u available?
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:iconamo-angelus:
amo-angelus Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018  Professional Artisan Crafter
Not even slightly lol
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:icondoc-skitz:
Doc-Skitz Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you need to grab these bulls by the tail and look the situation straight in the face
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
i need to have balls for this
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:icondoc-skitz:
Doc-Skitz Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
get them off the bulls
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2018
no, thats cruel
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:icondoc-skitz:
Doc-Skitz Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
making us look at that avatar is cruel
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2018
why is it
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:icondoc-skitz:
Doc-Skitz Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
some of us are not into man boobs I think I am going to PUKE! 
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2018
i am
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:iconshahrubah:
Shahrubah Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Just wait, maybe scientists will create milking bulls in the future.
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018   Writer
:thumbsup: they rly shuld. up there with making mpreg possible :la:
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:iconshahrubah:
Shahrubah Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If male pregnancy is possible, then feminazis will rule and enslave the mens.
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2018   Writer
or men will round up all women & shoot em dead cos theres no need for us anymore :saddummy:
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:iconshahrubah:
Shahrubah Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Femicide at it's finest.
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
*sits and waits*
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:iconshahrubah:
Shahrubah Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You may wait it for.....  forever
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
sounds promising
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:iconshahrubah:
Shahrubah Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
What if it's fornever?
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:iconmahoushoujoicestar:
MahouShoujoIceStar Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i'd get banned if I said anything about this
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
why
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:iconpsychoticfeline:
PsychoticFeline Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2018
Try using your mouth
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
nooooooooooooo i will have to start with one bull and i don't want to upset the other bull
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:iconbabakinkin:
BabaKinkin Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
you have more than one orifice 
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
i knew someone was going to say this hehehe
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:iconlyndentr33:
lyndentr33 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2018
With bulls timing is everything. Just like the cows, the milk pressure has to build up to make the animal uncomfortable and agitated. Then the will see you as a friend doing them a favour by relieving the pressure.

Just look for these signs before you attempt to milk the bull...
1. The eye balls will bulge.
2. The neck will arch up.
3. They will swing their head.
4. They will paw the ground.

When you see these signs, approach the bull, crouch down, grab the testicles with one hand and the single teat with the other.

This crouching position is also very convenient for kissing your arse goodbye.
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2018   Writer
:rofl:
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2018
thanks for the tips
i'll try them and come back to you
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:iconlyndentr33:
lyndentr33 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018
No probs. Any other tips about hospital cover, last will and testament, I'm ye man!!  
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:iconmscreeptales:
MsCreeptales Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Do bulls produce milk, I thought only cows and goat make milk
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:iconstockpremader:
stockpremader Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2018
from what i learnt, no they don't
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:iconmscreeptales:
MsCreeptales Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
so this was a joke
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