BREAKING: OIL FOUND IN WASHINGTON D.C. !!!


believeinya's avatar
:D (Big Grin)


Translation with google:
Washington (dpo) - Apparently huge oil deposits have been discovered under the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC. This is indicated by the large number of US soldiers in front of the building, according to experts.
"Based on the number and equipment of the military on site, an estimated oil supply of at least 400 million barrels can be assumed," explains geologist Joanne Hughes. "There is no other way to explain the presence of US soldiers."
In the past, the US military had already attracted attention because of its amazing intuition for the presence of the valuable raw material - mostly in connection with rogue states that suppress their own population.
"We can see that here too," said Hughes. "I expect the Lincoln Memorial to be blown up soon to make oil production possible. In return, the American people will be given freedom, justice and democracy."

Isnt that really good news for the US people ! :D (Big Grin) 

(in case you cant tell, www.der-postillon.com is a german political comedy site)
Comments15
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COMMANDER9's avatar
[SARCASM] Oh sure, there's just no way to explain military deployment in the nation's capital...Those riots happening all over the country are purely coincidental. [SARCASM]

Who ever wrote that article was either trying to push a conspiracy theory or is a complete idiot.
ShinigamiOokamiRyuu's avatar
I knew it! that's why they are always calling it a a swamp... I guess after all those thousands of years of dumping the dead there it finally sprung oil! it all makes perfect sense now.

satire news is always fun, it can take a moment and turn it into a few giggles.  without the giggles, we see how that went...
vonRibbeck's avatar
Also, read the English version's of the Postillon latest breaking news: Syria announces military support for moderate US rebels.
believeinya's avatar
Hey thats useful. I wasnt even aware the postillon has an english version. Would have helped avoiding the bother to translate it. :)

P.s.: Except they apparently havent translated this particular article.
vonRibbeck's avatar

Yeah, don't know how they decide which article gets an English version. I really wanted to lord it over you and simply link to the English version of your article, but I couldn't.

BATTLEFAIRIES's avatar
vonRibbeck's avatar

It's time somebody brings the gifts of democracy and freedom to the USA as well.

Triagonal's avatar
It’s gonna look like Fight Club over there.
GameTrek's avatar
So they staged the graffiti of the Lincoln Monument to dig up the oil in secrecy?

That is both and stupid and dumb
AlKend93's avatar
Oh crap, I took it literally. Silly me!
IKrines's avatar
I shouldn't laugh at this. Giggle 
AlKend93's avatar
I think it would be more logical to build a pipeline BENEATH the Lincoln Memorial to get to that oil.
BATTLEFAIRIES's avatar
The USA has this thing called the Deep State and they can't drill there or it gets exposed.