And personally, if you are happy with yourself and you can live with yourself and you are at peace with yourself, that is most important because you are the only person that has to live with yourself until you die Not to sound morbid.
But about defensiveness : Do you have triggers? (not a troll question) , because there can be a fine line between defensiveness and just being argumentative
Exactly my mindset ! It's not morbid at all it's definitely true
Even if I constantly work on improving, I don't want to blame myself for everything on the daily: Whenever I make a mistake, I learn from it, try and fix it, and then move on to never commit that mistake again
Sure ! I don't know if I'd call them triggers per se, but I will be very defensive when I feel I am being talked down to, or underestimated
I guess it is more linked to mutual courteous respect, since I am not a fan of gratuitous rudeness
But you are absolutely right about that thin line, it can be a question of temper as well and I am insanely short tempered at times too (To be honest it's more funny than anything)
That is often more than enough for me , mutual respect and curtisy is what I have to offer (I can slip up tho) , but it's what I have to offer, not understanding, not sympathy or even empathy in my worst moments. Curtisy most of all, because if one can be curteous in the face of an obstacle , a problem, or a fellow people-kind (ty princess Trudeau btw!)
I think that I know or can feel when people are being intentionally malicious towards me and taht's where I draw the personal line : the fight or flee moment.
I usually choose to curtly remove myself and not be drawn into a dogfight, although it can and does happen that one finds oneself spot in the middle of a pissing contest ... one should try to avoid it. In fear of feeding that side of you that will only benefit the worst of humanity.
And for what it matters, I highly value your very curteous responce and I would like to add that there are no taboo subjects on any of my threads, when people report them, it's because of their own inequities. I for one, value the art of conversation and rhetoric.
as long as princess trudeau is in power , her majesty's jokes will be relevant
and as far as I know I can't recall of a single person that reported my threads, but if they do , they do and hopefully have a good reason to do so (huring your feefees is not a good reason fyi)
I have never had a bad intention while posting a controversial thread (the mental illness one) , nor do I harbor bad feelings towards the people that felt it was an attacsk on them personally. In effect I think it's silly to think that an internet thread has any effect on anyone in their real lives.
and oh my you are French! we need to have a very serious and long discussion about Belgian French Fries, the Belgian national dish fyi
As a teenager I had no control over it. Zero. I had to hit my face slam dunk against the proverbial brick wall a couple of times before the word 'temperence' held any meaning to me. I guess I just had to learn from making the same mistakes over and over again. The hard way
About your pride and self-hate, those are very conflicting emotions or traits but I do understand that they coincide in the same person. You don't need to tell me if you dont want to but it's quite common in people (like me) that grew up with one or two narcissist parents.
hm I think I only had one but when I was younger, I saw things pretty distorted than how they really were out of selfishness.. like I viewed what wrong happened and magnified it so I was a victim - so idk if they were actually narcissist or not because they changed too I was a really selfish and prideful child haha I still have problems though but looking back on my past action and self IS SO CRINGEY so much worse how many did you grow up with?
I do know, from personal experience that narcissism is either the direct consequence of a brain injury or ... it's just taught by the parents. And contrary to popular belief is not mostly taught in single-children households. It being taught is unfortunately far more common than the brain injury, which can be easily identified and therefor we wouldn't call it a personality disorder but simply the effect of a damaged brain unable to cope with stimuli.
And look, all children are selfish that's just how nature intended it to be, nature made baby cries especially annoying and shrieking so that it literally sounds like an alarm, this is actually beneficial to the human species since babies are 100% dependent on the adults that surround them. Children in general have no idea that they are not hte center of the world because they are in fact the center of their own world. That's normal, you also can't actually diagnose children as narcissists , but you can do with adults because they have full access to the adult capacities of the adult brain. Being selfish and prideful in itself also aren't sure signs of the narcissist disorder, tho they commonly appear in narcissists, it's a bit more complicated than that because a narcissist without other people can not be a narcissist , they NEED others for that. You can be lonely and prideful at the same time btw. Without being a narcissist. Being selfish, well, we are all selffish to a certain degree, even the people that say they only live for the happiness of others (they are lying to look good )
I grew up with one other sister in a very cliche black sheep - golden child relationship, I as you may have guessed was the black sheep. My mother was a very bitter and vengeful woman that never forgave my father for leaving her for another woman. She took that out on me as the first born that had the dire misfortune of having more of physical resemblence to my father than I did to her and everyone always noticed it and commented about it. That also made her angry and spiteful next to being bitter and vengeful.
My procrastination and my fear of getting close to people.. I also overthink things, beat myself up too much, and spend too much time worrying about things I can't change.
It's funny- I wish I was more impulsive. I tend to overthink things and end up missing my chance to act. I've been in many situations where I wanted to start a conversation with someone, but couldn't make myself approach them without planning what I would say and thinking about the ways the conversation could go. Most often, I miss my chance to talk to them or just give up and decide not to approach the person at all.
I'm sure that's been called lazy but I don"t think its the same thing, procrastination has much more in common with lethargy and complacency which would point to depression rather than being a lazy fucker.
Perhaps a tendency towards extremism I have, a strong emotional reaction of approval to radicalism - when I'm the one creating it. I'm one of those people who could easily be a Dictator if they had the chance, and a part of me doesn't think it's very healthy.
Don't take this personally but this reminds me of a quote I once heard someone make (I forgot who the original quote was from) and it went like this: If you are not a revulotionary in your teens you have no heart. If you are still a revolutionary by the time you are thirty, you have no brain.
Oh, I'm not taking this personally the slightest. I think a person's tendencies to be radical are more ingrained in how they perceive the world than anything else - in how they think the world 'should operate ideally'. I don't really think revolution has anything to do with it, though I'd be inclined to look at history for proof that all revolutionaries ever were under thirty.
It depends on what you call a revolutionary, in essence it"s someone starting or maintaining a revolution. While revolutions may be with the best intentions in the beginnings, if you keep them up after they are no longer needed it means you are just forming another tyrranny. Taht is what the quote implies or refers to, not the actual age of the people in one.
My professional system of procrastinating. Don't get me wrong I always finish what I need to on time but for some reason I work best when the hot breath of an upcoming deadline moistens the back of my neck!
I don't think you are wrong, I think you may be very right on that. Be careful tho, that is a thought pattern that can and will easily lead you into depression and I'm not talking about the tumblr variety depression, I mean the actual pathology that requires medicines.