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September 15


Replies: 12

I feel I did the right thing..

MissLlyn Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2020  Hobbyist Digital Artist
to sum it up :

met this guy online. We both have simar interests, however, I feel like he's going too fast.

1. He claims so soon he already likes/loves me.

2. We talked a little about hobbies then he turns the talk sexual. Kind of throws me off. Talks about his dick being big... asking sexual questions. What position...

I want to make this work but now I'm thrown off and feel like it won't work out between us if it feels he just want company and sex.
Should I give it a chance or find a way to gently reject?

when i was honest... i told him the truth... he starts guilt tripping... and such.. making me feel bad.. and i couldn't take him, told him i dont want to be guilt tripped... wish him well on finding some one and blocked...

i feel gross but i was a bit uncomfortable with him

Devious Comments

Ouroboros-BySam Featured By Owner 4 days ago  New Deviant Professional Digital Artist
Saying he loves you then asking for sex and guilt tripping you when you are honest about your feelings is 100% an abuse tactic designed to make you feel bad about leaving.  This man does not care about you.  He wanted to use you for sex, and for his ego (for some reason making people feel like trash makes some people feel good, don't ask me why I don't get it).  You did the right thing.

You.  Did.  The.  Right.  Thing.

Be proud of yourself that you were strong enough to break it off.  Lots of people stay when the guilt trip starts.  Don't look back.  Block him or whatever.
DumbledoreAskedCalm Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2020  New Deviant
Why did you deactivate?!
Jambatti Featured By Owner Edited Sep 17, 2020  Hobbyist Digital Artist
How about you explain to him EXACTLY why you don't like him? If he really likes you as a person, he will understand and change his ways.  If you already told him, but he continues to ramble in a way that annoys you - then don't feel bad about blocking him.

If you repeatedly told him that you don't like how he talks to you, and yet he continues his advances, that means only one thing - he doesn't care about you. All he cares about is himself. So, what you did - is sent him to spend more time with a person he cares about - you've actually done him a favor, think of it this way:)


razorg456 Featured By Owner Edited Sep 16, 2020  Hobbyist General Artist
I think you already pretty much know deep down what that
little voice is telling you. If you were okay with what he
was doing you wouldn't feel conflicted. Set the record straight
and tell him what you are willing to accept and not accept. If
he means you well he will work with you otherwise you know
what it's about and it's time to cut it out. The person in your life,
not  implying anything else here ;3 Never let anyone gas light
you into questioning yourself and what you feel works or
doesn't work for you. There are many other fish in the sea
and he's bottom of the barrel if that's how he swims.
dqube Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2020  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This dude sounds horny AF he's better of looking for a hooker in my opinion. If his feelings were genuine he wouldn't be bringing up sex talk from the get go. When people try to guilt trip you they know that they can't have you and they will try every manipulation tactic in the book. You should never put up with abusers and manipulators.
alex-crocodylia Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2020  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I feel so fucking stupid, I always thought I couldn't reply to Lynn's threads because she had me blocked. Well, turns out I was the blocker this whole time. LMAO

Anyway... I've met a guy EXACTLY like that last year. Said he liked me and everything and then he starts to talk about sex, like, nonstop.

What I've learned? If they start to talk about sex nonstop, especially if you barely know each other and you would like something serious, DITCH HIM. It's a huuuuuuuuge red flag!!! And you did absolutely well to block him, don't feel guilty, he was the asshole all this time!! You only ditched a bullet!!
ClumsySquid Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2020  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Lots of people mentioned already that guilt-tripping is a narcissist tool of emotional manipulation, so you dodged a bullet.
SameOldSkorpan Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2020
At same time lots of ppl use "guilt-tripping" now as a comeback manipulation from any criticism ever.

As in you make them feel guilty / bad for what they're doing, by telling them honestly that they're going down a destructive it can be just as well the next best excuse to forever deny your problems.

Tho it doesn't seem the case this time, I do think it's becoming over-used term slowly lol
JCoolArts Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2020
You did exactly the right thing. Guilt trips are a tool of narcissists.
When something ends badly like that, it usually leaves a bad taste, but the bright side is that you saved yourself from wasting any further time and emotional strength on a dead end.
risamei Featured By Owner Edited Sep 15, 2020  Student Digital Artist
Yes you did It really is as you said all he wants is company and sex, not much care for who you're as a person, can only imagine that would carry on the entire time you're with them.

There was a movie called freedom writers I watched and in one scene this couple is breaking up and she says "I love you" he responds with "you love the idea of me." which kind of just stuck with me.

There are people who love the idea of you and what you'll provide for them but not actually interested in you individually. That idea of the perfect husband/wife are sometimes projected on the individuals we become interested in which with some people(your guy) become immediately enamored with that idea projecting onto you. It is very offputting because its really the wrong way to go about trying to get into a relationship.

I hope any of this makes sense i suck at explaining things...... also in the end she says "its a really good idea" :D

so when someone automatically falls head over heels for you in the beginning I will make that point, you dont love me you love the idea of me.
Scorbuniis Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2020
You did the right thing. He sounded like a freak.
Pakaku Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2020
If a relationship is going too fast so early for you to handle, and talking it over doesn't fix anything, there's no shame in calling it off
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