Am I an Animal Abuser? (TW: ANIMAL DEATH)
TW: ANIMAL DEATH
My dog of 11 years had to be put to sleep on November 17th of 2019. Thing is, my guinea pig had her babies exactly 6 months later. We thought there were going to be three, but there is an extra one. She surprised us. She has tan fur, and red eyes. She's the runt, but she did well. I thought this was an omen, I thought it was my dog coming back to tell me that it's not my fault she got sick. I got attached to this small guinea pig in the first 6 days. She was the one we were keeping no matter what, boy or girl, it didn't matter.
I woke up on the 6th day. She was awake, and breathing. But she was just lying there, convulsing in a seizure state. I thought she was gone right there and then. I screamed, crying as soon as I saw her laying on the ground. My mom heard me, and got up. We sat trying to decide if we should go to a guinea pig vet or just the regular vet. At this point, we didn't think she would make it. We went to the regular vet, but to get recommendations for small animal vets.
The closest, trusted small animal vet was an hour and a half away. We still went, I had too much hope and my mother was afraid that if she gave up that I'd go into a deep depression. We got to the vet, and I was crying, almost having a tantrum. My guinea pig, my omen of good, Fern the guinea pig, was having seizures, was wheezing as she breathed. She was six days old. Even though the vet was in the office, they were "at lunch, sweetie." It took thirty minutes for us to even get into a room. They tried to weigh her. I had to watch her shake and seize while they said "Oh, this scale can't track her weight, she's too small." By then I knew that we were going to have to euthanize. I keep thinking, if they weren't at lunch, if we had sped a bit faster to the vet, if I got up when I first woke up... I'm blaming myself again, even though the vet said it was genetic, it's my fault. I shouldn't have kept the male and female together, I should have made a bigger deal when the breeder said they had the same dad, I should have watched her closer, taken her to the vet when she was first born, as small as my thumb. But I didn't. I thought about it all, but I didn't do it.
Now I feel like I shouldn't have animals. I shouldn't be allowed to touch any animals. My dog had renal kidney disease, which could've been prevented if she was taken to the vet regularly. My first beta fish since I was 9 died because of something to do with it's swim bladder. The one I got after that, refused to eat after I changed his pellets- even after I changed them back. And now I let incest happen. I wanted it to happen. The breeder didn't say it was going to be a big deal, she said that they would make cute babies, that they would make for good rodeo piggies, etc. That's four animals within a year.
My depression has gotten worse, as would be expected, but after this happened, I feel so guilty about my dog. I mean, think about it, this coincidence. My dog was the runt of her litter, My guinea pig was the runt of her litter, My dog was the only one that didn't have mostly brown fur, My guinea pig was the only one that had red eyes... The similarities go on. I could write three thousand different things on why they were so alike. And the guinea pig, Fern, passing makes me feel like this is revenge from somewhere. I don't know where, but someone wants me to be sad.
But that's me trying to blame it on someone else. I am the one who did this, I am the one who made this all happen, who let it become truth. It's my fault.
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I'm actively killing animals here on the farm
And I don't feel as bad as you appear to
I hit a piglet on the head, and it's eye balls popped out like in that walking dead show, but did didn't die.
I was treating the piglet because it ate a rusty nail. After about 4 days I determined that it wasn't getting better and it was best to just kill it. Usually i would use poison to do this but it was a bad time of year and most poisonous plants were dried up. I wanted to kill it as quickly and painlessly as possible so I thought I would use my Grand Father's approach of knocking pigs on the head to render them unconscious. What I didn't take into account was that piglets have no skull, rather they have a very soft cartilage based structure around their brains. Which meant instead of causing the piglet to go unconscious, it just made a hole in its head the size of the hammer head. It was one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen and the piglet was still alive screaming. Luckily I had a knife ready and was able to chop it's head of shortly after
I thing your problem is that you care too much.
And if you care, you can't really blame yourself for all these things
You are far better than an animal abuser who quite clearly doesn't care
Well... Bye
And I don't feel as bad as you appear to
I hit a piglet on the head, and it's eye balls popped out like in that walking dead show, but did didn't die.
I was treating the piglet because it ate a rusty nail. After about 4 days I determined that it wasn't getting better and it was best to just kill it. Usually i would use poison to do this but it was a bad time of year and most poisonous plants were dried up. I wanted to kill it as quickly and painlessly as possible so I thought I would use my Grand Father's approach of knocking pigs on the head to render them unconscious. What I didn't take into account was that piglets have no skull, rather they have a very soft cartilage based structure around their brains. Which meant instead of causing the piglet to go unconscious, it just made a hole in its head the size of the hammer head. It was one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen and the piglet was still alive screaming. Luckily I had a knife ready and was able to chop it's head of shortly after
I thing your problem is that you care too much.
And if you care, you can't really blame yourself for all these things
You are far better than an animal abuser who quite clearly doesn't care
Well... Bye
Its not your fault. 11yr old is old for most types of dogs. He might have survived if you took him to the vet for a checkup every 3 months or so, and spent loads of money keeping a dog alive for longer than its natural lifespan, but 11 years is GOOD for most types of dog. Its the equivalent of 77 in human years.
Runts of litters often have health problems that make them die. This is simply the nature of life.
Getting and keeping a male & female from a single litter did cause a little bit of guinea pig inbreeding, and yeah, that was a little silly, but its just not that big a deal. You know better now. Inbreeding happens a lot in pet breeding, it's just an inconvenient truth.
My dog's parents were half-brother and sister, and my dog is awesome.
Just because its weak doesn't mean you ignored when It has a hard time. It just happens and moves on the past.
For example, I realized that chick fell down into my backyard. My sister came in to take care of her. At that time, the chick was fine and I noticed there were bumps (internal damage maybe). I knew the chick didn't survive in midnight after I gave it mushed food.
For example, I realized that chick fell down into my backyard. My sister came in to take care of her. At that time, the chick was fine and I noticed there were bumps (internal damage maybe). I knew the chick didn't survive in midnight after I gave it mushed food.
It's very normal to blame ourselves when a pet dies. I think it's partly because we're responsible for their care, but also it gives us a sense of control over the situation. Even if we couldn't stop their death, we feel it would've at least been preventable if we'd done X, Y, Z. I've lost 3 animals over the last 2 years and have been experienced the same thoughts/feelings, even though I logically know there isn't much I really could have done differently.
You got the runt of the litter, the odds were already not in her favor. It sounds like you did your best to keep her alive, so you really shouldn't blame yourself for her death.
You got the runt of the litter, the odds were already not in her favor. It sounds like you did your best to keep her alive, so you really shouldn't blame yourself for her death.
thank you
Runts are just that runts. We like to root for them, we like to hope that they will do well. But they are more likely to die as they are often the smallest and the weakest. Most animals when having a baby will lose some of their litter, its why they have multiple and a large clutch.
Yeah, its just weird. I mean it's her first litter but I have had a breeding pair before, and even then we only had one die, and it was during birth(not the mom, a baby). Thank you for reassuring me.
What these other two said. You clearly care a lot about your animals, and you didn't cause the death of your dog OR your guinea pig. Sometimes things just... die. It happens. I lost a baby goat a few years ago, and it really WAS my fault, so I know how you feel. Mourning comes in all forms, including guilt, but try not to let that guilt make you less full of joy for your other animals that need you.
My dog is also the runt, and was the only all-white pup out of all the other black pups when she was born. She's 14 years old now, and still loves to go on short walks and car rides. She has late stage Congestive Heart Failure, and she's at a point now where we can't up her dosage of medicine anymore. Basically what this means is that there's not much we can do for her anymore. Just kind of... waiting for it. Vet says it could be a year or more, could be a month or less.
There are times when I look back and feel guilty about things. She was really overweight or a while at one point, which probably caused the CHF, but we didn't even notice because she's such a small dog, she didn't even LOOK fat.
If we had taken her to the vet and she had gotten weighed a long time ago, she might not have developed this problem? If we hadn't fed her so many table scraps, maybe she would live longer?
You know what though? It doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done, this is the reality I have to live in. She's had a good life thus far, and I know for a fact that if you could somehow ask her, she wouldn't regret a thing.
She loves green beans too much.
My goat, on the other hand, died from an infection that I caused, and could have been prevented if I had seen the signs sooner. I still regret not being able to save my little Johnny. I've learned from it though, and I sure as heck am
not going to let that happen to any of the others.
Not sure that any of this will help make you feel better, but just try to remember; it's okay to be sad. But there is no sadness with happiness as well, so, for your own sake; Let Fern be at peace, and don't forget, but move on.
There's a lot of happiness and sorrow and love and loss that awaits you yet.
My dog is also the runt, and was the only all-white pup out of all the other black pups when she was born. She's 14 years old now, and still loves to go on short walks and car rides. She has late stage Congestive Heart Failure, and she's at a point now where we can't up her dosage of medicine anymore. Basically what this means is that there's not much we can do for her anymore. Just kind of... waiting for it. Vet says it could be a year or more, could be a month or less.
There are times when I look back and feel guilty about things. She was really overweight or a while at one point, which probably caused the CHF, but we didn't even notice because she's such a small dog, she didn't even LOOK fat.
If we had taken her to the vet and she had gotten weighed a long time ago, she might not have developed this problem? If we hadn't fed her so many table scraps, maybe she would live longer?
You know what though? It doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done, this is the reality I have to live in. She's had a good life thus far, and I know for a fact that if you could somehow ask her, she wouldn't regret a thing.
She loves green beans too much.
My goat, on the other hand, died from an infection that I caused, and could have been prevented if I had seen the signs sooner. I still regret not being able to save my little Johnny. I've learned from it though, and I sure as heck am
not going to let that happen to any of the others.
Not sure that any of this will help make you feel better, but just try to remember; it's okay to be sad. But there is no sadness with happiness as well, so, for your own sake; Let Fern be at peace, and don't forget, but move on.
There's a lot of happiness and sorrow and love and loss that awaits you yet.
thank you for the nice words.
This isn't your fault. You really cared about that runt and you wanted them to live a happy and healthy life. You tried everything you could to save their life by taking it to the vet. Not a lot of people would have done that. You're a very compassionate person and you made the effort to save the animals life. The world needs more compassionate people like you.
The runt died because it's a runt. Runts are usually poorly developed and they die early on. Its unfortunate but it happens. It is not your fault at all.
Having pets is fun but when shit gets real, it's real. I know. I've had many pets in the past and they've died from illness and old age. It's the circle of life. Dont blame yourself for something that you didnt do. Pls.
The runt died because it's a runt. Runts are usually poorly developed and they die early on. Its unfortunate but it happens. It is not your fault at all.
Having pets is fun but when shit gets real, it's real. I know. I've had many pets in the past and they've died from illness and old age. It's the circle of life. Dont blame yourself for something that you didnt do. Pls.
Right now I'm just worried most about mom piggie. She's gotten a bit lethargic. But I think She'll be fine. Thank you for helping me feel better.
Runts are more prone to not making it for a wide range of reasons which often have nothing to do with you. You could have done everything absolutely correctly and it still could have died.
Next time, choose animals that are not runts, do not place your faith in runts to survive, and don't blame yourself for when an animal dies.
The only thing you can do is try your best, learn from your mistakes, and understand that having pets often means that eventually you're also going to experience sorrow. That is part of the learning experience. So learn from it, and next time you'll be better prepared, more knowledgeable, and have a better understanding of what could happen.
thank you.
