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June 13, 2018


Replies: 6

I Have Nobody to Talk To About This

Aret Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Some shit went down last weekend and I realized I have like, no friends anymore. Nobody to talk to. Nobody to tell me what I should do about all this shit or to tell me to stop being an idiot. I don't even have my mom anymore. Between death and depression, I have lost nearly everyone in my life.

So after a super long hiatus, I end up coming here again.

Hey dA folk, the man I love very much did something cruel to me at the worst possible moment. I told him that he stepped on my feelings and I don't trust him anymore and he feels awful about it, but I don't know where to go from here and I don't know how to stop hurting. Even though I understand why he did it and I forgive him already.

What do you do about broken trust? I've never had to deal with this before.

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Devious Comments

albatrash Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2018
Learn and move on. Always do this.
MiffArte Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Trust is hard to gain and easy to lose. If I were you I wouldn't forgive him just like that because it would give him the impression that it wasn't that bad at all. Maybe motivating him to do things like these again. Why? He'd lose resprect from you. You should leave your household for a while and stay somewhere else if you feel suicidal. If not that at least don't share bed.

What do you mean by: "I don't know how to stop hurting." Why do you even blame yourself? Why are the others not on your side? Or is this a thing with two sides of the medal?

Have you tried to talk to your friends? Or do you only fear that they wouldn't react properly (like you wish them to)?
Vineris Featured By Owner Edited Jun 13, 2018  Professional General Artist
I'd wait and see what actions he takes in the future.  Part of a genuine apology is taking action in order to not do it again, and making amends.

People make mistakes.  Anybody can do something stupid and hurtful and thoughtless.  We all step on one another's toes sometimes.  And yeah, it hurts.  You're going to have a big bruise on your psyche for a bit.  But the difference between a good person and a bad one is whether they get off your toes and try hard to not do it again.

Edit: keep in mind that your feelings are a story you are telling yourself about what's going on.  They don't necessarily reflect reality, nor should you blindly act on them.  If you're depressed then your brain tells a lot of negative stories.  You're going to have to get out from under the influence of those stories.  Loneliness and isolation tends to make depression worse.  Get back in contact with people.  I'm not saying it'll make you feel good, but it might well help prevent you from sliding deeper into the depression hole and it'll take some of the pressure off your relationship.  One person can't be your entire support system.
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018   Writer
stop being an idiot.

^^; sorry...super lame attempt at super bad joke
usually I break up with guys I can't trust any longer... :confused: when they do stuff that is so bad it breaks my trust in them, that also tends to kill all feelings I have for them..... I do relapse sometimes and imagine 'what could have been' if I gave him another chance (especially at times when my current relationship turns sour), but... then I know there's a good reason we broke up, and it wouldn't work out anyway. id rather not be in a relationship than be in one that makes nobody happy.

but what did he do?
Aret Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
I'm married to him though, breaking up is not easy even if I wanted to. And its not like I don't trust him at all. He didn't cheat or anything. He just kind of... kicked me right in the insecurity right when I was most insecure. Like needing reassurance but being insulted instead. I don't want to go into details.
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018   Writer
ahh ^^; im sorry :saddummy: don't have experience with marriage...

maybe give it time to let him earn your trust back. the way he earned your trust in the first place?
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