I can't say too much on the topic apart from maybe trying to look for a female gynaecologist? My ex girlfriends(onyl women I talked to about that kind of thing) had women as doctors and said they haven't had any bad experiences.
I agree with Rob and Decadent on this. You don't go to the doctor to become more damaged. I had some PTSD from the way I was treated after my scooter accident. Most of the doctors and nurses at the hospital were helpful. There was this one who seemed to just be there to vent his frustrations about something I said and I guess his shitty personal life on me.
You seemed to hit the asshole jackpot with this guy. Sorry you had to go through that. Decadent is right about there being better ones out there. You also might want to get a reference from some other patients before you try this again, and certainly not with that quack. Definitely look into anyone else who has complaints about him if you're so inclined. They might have a legal team already handling it and you wouldn't have to spend anything on the malpractice suit. Rob is right.
Hey Plo, I've just read through your post and I wanted to say I'm sorry. Gyno visits are never easy because you have to show your private parts to a complete stranger and sometimes do some painful exams. It's just awkward and nobody likes that, just like going to the dentist. But it has to be done, especially if you have a wound.
I won't spend my words on this asshole, but I wanted to tell you that I've encountered bad doctors too. It just varies from person to person. However, I don't believe what he told you. That it cannot be cured or whatever. It sounded like a pretty quick way to deal with it, to be honest. So my advice is... Take all the time you need and stay away from any more visits. Talk about this with people you trust. When you feel better, start looking for good doctors, a Google search and some reviews might help you.
Reading through this thread--your experience with this doctor was not normal, and they are not all like that. I am so sorry that happened to you, especially the parts where he was apparently judgemental about masturbation. Iirc it's illegal, at least where I'm from, for them to pass any kind of judgement about a patient's sexual activity at all. I understand if you're not willing to go to another OBGYN, and I absolutely feel you shouldn't go back to that one, but I promise good ones exist. When I went to get my birth control implant, my doctor listened when I said I couldn't know my weight, she didn't ask whether I'd be having sex or not, and she listened when I told her I was lidocaine insensitive and gave me a second needle just to make sure I didn't feel it. Good ones exist. The one you got was just absolute dogshit, and I am so sorry.
Thats horrible im sorry, there is literally no excuse for him not treating you with care and compassion. You said it was your first time and he 100% should of taken that into consideration right away, he should of let you know exactly what he was doing and making sure you werent in pain and comforting you through the procedure. NOT forcing your legs apart and getting frustrated, what a POS you should of definitely held out for woman not a man. I will say though I hope you find the courage to go through the process again and maybe talk to some friends that can recommend you a good gyno that they know of maybe, so this sort of thing doesn' happen again.
Male, and I think that was a huge mistake on my part. But that was all what's available and I didn't have it in me to wait any longer, I felt like I might change my mind if I was given more time to think about it.
It took me only to almost 26 yo to go for it for the first time, I don't think I'm trying another one anytime soon, I don't wanna go through this all again. Tho he said to come back if the medication doesn't help to see if he can release my C a bit but I doubt I'll ever come back.
... were you accompanied with parents or other family members?
This shouldn't be. Did you say how uncomfortable you were either? It may be awkward, but has never and shouldn't be painful, unless for few times to determine where the injury probably is, and not repeatedly. Any good doctor would not insist on putting pains, although some might not notice patient's feeling if they don't say it clearly.
I explained a had a clit injury, he was pulling me so hard without any consideration for it, I'm sure I made sort of sound while closing my eyes and squeezing the bed or whatever it's called with my hands EVERYTIME he did the same painful stretch, so it was more than obvious, I was also spontaneously closing my legs to which he would push them in a really rude way.
I get that he can be tired or stressed but I'm a human being with feelings, I didn't go there to feel abused, besides I siad it was my first visit he could have made slight effort, I know I would if I was a doctor, I'd do my best to put myself in the patients shoes, and make it the less embarrassing and painful I can.
I don't even know whereto start, this was my first exam and I don't have anything to compare with, I don't know if the way he treated me was normal.
First of all I did I say it was the first time and he didn't see to take that inconsideration at all, there was no empathy, he wasn't helpful, he didn't say anything that might make me feel less awkward, quite the opposite.
It felt like he was scolding, for the injury I accidentally inflicted on my private area, and for apparently being too red meaning "I touch myself a lot" and that was totally humiliating.
When he examined me, maybe I odn' t know that's how it's supposed to be done but I don't understand why you'd have to open with this kind of force and speed to full stretched position, knowing that I have an energy, he did that many times although I was obviously in pain in pain everytime, and I think he stretched my injury and made it worse. When I would instinctively bring my legs in a closing motion because of the fear he would push them away in an aggressive way. I left with more pain than I came with.
He then told me that I basically had no good option for treating for I have, that the surgery is risky and might lead me to either suffer with chronic pain or lose the ability to feel pleasure, so it's better that I live with mu condition instead of taking the risk. Which made me cry, especially I went through all that just to have a solution, only to hear I have no solution, and again not the slightest empathy or comfort words when I cried.
I don't expect doctors to be my friends or anything but this was literally horrible, he was so rude, in his words, in the way he manipulated my body, in everything.
I had really bad nausea after the pelvic exam and all this so the whole time when he was talkign to me after that I was trying to act normal but I wanted to throw up and to cry really hard.
yeah no that's a huge fucking yikes, i've heard better stories from dudes going to get checked out for similar reasons. please file a complaint if you can so other women won't get hurt by this shitbag.
this experience was scary but you still have to see a gynecologist once in a while to maintain good health. find a different doctor and schedule another appointment. hate to sound sexist or smth but always choose a female doctor because they actually know how it is to be one.
What you went through is not normal, nor appropriate. I've had a couple shitty exams, but none that bad. If you wanna talk, you know where to find me. I can help you strategize on finding a better gyno.
If you're able to see a different gynecologist I would highly recommend you find a female one, I've never had a male gyno examine me, always female, and they know what kind of touch and pressure can hurt. That man you went to sounds like a piece of shit, it's clear that he didn't care about your feelings and didn't treat you with the dignity you and every other patient deserves. If you're able to send a complaint to the hospital or clinic he practices at, I'd highly encourage you to do so because that kind of behaviour ISN'T NORMAL. What he did to you isn't normal. How he made you feel isn't normal. That is NOT how it's meant to go.
I'm not too much into starting drama, and being the one who files suits and things like that, I'm sure if it's true that something is wrong with him, then someone else will, I have no idea tho it could be me, and my perception of things. Either way I don't have the energy for this kinda drama, going to a gynecologist was already hard enough and took every bit of will power from me.
Understandable. I just want you to know that your experience wasn't normal and that if you do decide to get reexamined that you find a female doctor to perform the exam, or atleast someone who was NOT that man.