Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login

Details

Closed to new replies
July 12
Link

Statistics

Replies: 102

"You should just love yourself as you are!"

:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Edited Jul 12, 2018
I gained a pretty obscene amount of weight over the winter (20lbs over about 5-6 months) and because that is no bueno, I have started on a new path to healthy living to try and reconnect with how I used to live and eat when I was considerably thinner and fitter (back when I lived in the city and walked everywhere).

Well all my fat friends are up in arms. You'd think my journey towards health and being able to fit in my goddamn clothes again was some sort of personal attack on them.

"You should love yourself as you are!"
"I'm much happier being heavy than I was when I was trying to be thin!"
"I was so stressed dieting, it's really unhealthy, I don't think you should change!"

It's like I've told them that I'm taking up bulimia as a hobby or something. :stare: I'm not even being all that drastic, I just started walking during my lunch hour (I'm usually hungry before lunch anyway so I just eat one-handed at my desk before and after "lunch time") and being more careful about what and how much I eat.

I drink my coffee black instead of with milk and sugar. I stopped eating potato chips and chocolate bars. I only drink alcohol on weekends and limit myself to 2 drinks of something like rose or dry hard cider. I eat a lot less refined carbs like pasta and white rice. I'm eating more fresh vegetables and whole foods. Essentially I am doing what I used to do before being a stressed out student who drives everywhere just messed me right up.

I've lost 17lbs since May 28th without any strenuous exercising or going to the gym. I'm a lazy turtle at heart (unless I'm hiking in which case I'm a maniac ^^;) so I refuse to do anything physical that isn't fun for me. I still weigh a lot more than is considered "healthy" and I can barely fit into clothing from regular size ranges so it's not like I'm turning into a twig over here. (Not to mention the fact I can haul 30lbs over 15+ rugged kms, let's see a malnutritioned person do that!)

Yet my friends are still flailing about like I'm behaving in an irrational and dangerous manner. Goodness forbid I want to be able to engage in my favorite activities without having to haul around an extra 20lbs of fat. My damned gut was getting in the way of doing simple shit like tying my damn shoelaces and that was the last straw.

Why the hell can't people just support someone when they decide to do something to better themselves? My desire to change my lifestyle wasn't purely to lose weight; I'm building strength and stamina, increasing my cardiovascular system etc. It's not because I think fat people (myself included because I am still fat) are gross or bad. I was just physically uncomfortable in my own skin, had reached a point where I could not live like that anymore. Like geez people. 

:icontealdeerplz: I've switched to a healthy lifestyle and losing weight and my fat friends are freaking out like I've become bulimic and keep trying to guilt me out of being healthy and I just don't get it :B
Reply

You can no longer comment on this thread as it was closed due to no activity for a month.

Devious Comments

:iconblackbook668:
blackbook668 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2018
People who don't want to improve themselves have given up on life.
Reply
:iconladyalluvia:
LadyAlluvia Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
maybe they are afraid you will stop being their friend...
Reply
:iconjordynlyn-rose:
JordynLyn-Rose Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
As someone who has lost an obscene amount of weight nearly over 100 LBs I'm much happier now and feel better than I did.
But they are half right, learn to love yourself the way you are that way any change is like climbing everest and makes everything so much more worth the effort. 
Reply
:iconluminaara:
Luminaara Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
All this "stay who you are" shit is dumb anyway. If you "stay who you are" you cannot improve as a person.

They mean "love what you cannot change". But in this case you can change a thing. Doesn't mean you have to hate yourself, but you can love how you make progress in reaching your goal, in this case the goal of becoming thinner.

Don't listen to them. They may die on diabetes and whatnot while you will become thinner and healthier.
Reply
:iconrainasense:
Rainasense Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i think being healthy like what you do is the same with loving yourself though. i mean its a proof that you love your own body by being doing an healthy lifestyle. i dont see anything wrong with that :/

well, its up to them to choose which lifestyle they want is what i mean, and you choose to be healthy.

i still dont get it why they are saying stuff like that, here in my country, people are encouraging them who try to be healthy like how you did.

you need to exercise a little bit though, mate.
once you re used to it, it will be fun. maybe a simple exercise that you could done in home would be perfect xD
sorry about my english lol
Reply
:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I always wonder how those people that "love themselves as they are" live. If seems rather unfulfilling to me when there's nothing in life to strife for, no means of self-improvement or whatsoever.  Don't get me wrong. I think self-acceptance is great, especially for things you cannot change (health issues, handicaps, etc), but it seems like such a waste to me when you just sit around and do nothing and don't ever aim for a new goal or a new skill.

As for your friends. It's common for people to not understand or be opposed to change. If you're happy with the choices you made, perhaps you need to find yourself a new group of friends that share your newfound interests. 
Reply
:iconelgrig:
Elgrig Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
Your friends felt bad because you try to be healthy. I can imagine how annoying it is not able to tie the damn shoelace. Especially when shoelaces for some reason always find their way to untie themselves.
Reply
:iconcandypie357:
Candypie357 Featured By Owner Edited Jul 13, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Music… And all I could say was...Music  wow! 







But on a serious note if your friends don't support your choices don't be friends with them cuz friends support each other not... do the opposite, whatever that is...
Reply
:iconlizzychrome:
LizzyChrome Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Just wanna say I still love your icon. 
Reply
:iconjegarwoods:
jegarwoods Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
go for it girl, if you don't like something of yourself, you change it without complaining like a kid :)
Reply
:iconxsweetslayerx:
xSweetSlayerx Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  Professional General Artist
My mother gets overly concerned that I'm anorexic or something whenever I put myself on a scale. Like, I'm just checking to make sure I'm still a healthy weight because I don't have a healthy, stable diet.
Reply
:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
I blame them and society for the passive aggressiveness.
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
Women seem to be "trained" by society to tear each other down, in particular, eh?
Reply
:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Edited Jul 13, 2018
Plus, having a lifestyle change is half the time seen as a negative thing.

If you're big but trying to lose a little bit of weight, people don't believe you.
If you're eating healthy but decide to eat a little junk food, It's considered a bad thing.
If you don't have a fitness model's body, your progress is not enough.
If you're doing it because you love yourself, you have low self-esteem issues and you're doing it because you hate yourself.

Even the Healthy At Any Size movement gets shitted on and they wonder why people give up.

The worse part about it that we have such a negative relationship with food and exercise that we don't know how to have a positive one without someone commenting on it.
Reply
:iconoakktree:
oakktree Featured By Owner Edited Jul 13, 2018  Student
I don't think that their reactions had much to do with your decision, I think it's just a projection. You have the urge to change. Sometimes when people are buried in their insecurities, it's difficult to be around people who are actively fighting their own. Plus it doesn't help that we're very social creatures and we feed and influence each other about everything. It makes our bad habits appear to be normal habits, because everyone around us is doing the exact same thing. 

Maybe in this situation, it would be good to show some kindness. Your friends are obviously struggling with something, even if they swear they might not be. Their actions speak much louder then their words and that over reaction and defensiveness is deep. Don't be upset at them. Just do what's good for you and show them how much better you feel while you do it. Not in the form of rubbing it in their face, you know? Just live free and inspire change silently. 

Edit: Even if I'm wrong and that trash they're talking is completely genuine and how they really really feel and they're just so concerned: A little extra kindness never hurt anything. It's a win for everyone. 

Very good for you for seeing a problem and wanting to change it. That's fantastic. 
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
It's the one's birthday in 2 weekends and the bunch of us will be together so I'm hoping seeing that I am in fact not wasting away but simply returning to a more healthful lifestyle, maybe they'll see the light in my actions. I don't expect most of them to try and join me but maybe they'll at least drink less and maybe eat a little better. 

My mother always said kill them with kindness haha.
Reply
:iconmajamanon:
MajaManon Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  New Deviant
Some people just think that loving yourself and wanting to improve your body are opposites. I look at it like getting a new job - I love what I do, but I got a better offer ;) (Wink) 

I understand friends being concerned but only when they are giving a reason for it and it sounds like your are killing it and being really smart about it! Just keep at it!

And reading you thread might actually be the thing that gets my fat ass to the gym tonight ;) (Wink) 
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
That's a good way to put it actually.

If I inspire anybody, being the lazy turtle I am, I'm all for it! :woohoo: As I mentioned to someone else, I think I'll do some farmer carries with free weights tonight, since I didn't get out for my usual walk due to rain this afternoon anyway (it feels so wrong when I don't have my walk haha, like I'm betraying myself)
Reply
:iconidleye:
Idleye Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
That's good on you! Keep it up. 

Surely, fat shaming is bad but I think fat acceptance is detrimental to our society. It's fucking ludicrous.
Reply
:icon2namretsimeht:
2naMretsiMehT Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  New Deviant
lol mine accused me of anorexia and drugs. 
Reply
:iconswobyman77:
swobyman77 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  New Deviant Professional General Artist
imo those phrases that induce complacency are just safety nets made to keep the super jilted from offing themselves. 

Nothing worth achieving happens without an equal exchange of effort and conscious resolve. Rise above the noise! 
Reply
:iconchronokinetic-socks:
Chronokinetic-socks Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Self improvement is important and I'm as proud of you as an internet stranger could possibly be! I've never been there with this particular issue--I'm on the opposite end, trying to get...less anorexic, basically--but I can attest yeah any time you try to get better, people are gonna want to pull you back down so you can wallow with them in being worse. Don't listen to them, follow your dreams and get your ideal body. 
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
A close friend of mine was "ideally thin" for years and years, except she was actually extremely ill and her body was incapable of putting on weight since she had severe digestive issues, nausea, and was simply exhausted all the time and it just ate her up. When the docs finally put her on meds that finally gave her relief and she started putting on healthy weight, SO many people started to panic like OH NO SHE IS GETTING BIGGER THIS MUST BE BAD. She was actually super happy about it! She was 32 and hadn't had breasts for most of her adult life because she'd been so damned thin, and she said she wasn't as cold anymore, had more energy etc. But people focus on what they can see I guess. :/
Reply
:iconchronokinetic-socks:
Chronokinetic-socks Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah see I...got this thin on purpose. It's only 125 pounds but I'm real tired of being shaky and cold all the time, I miss being able to lift stuff. Plus I'm a trans dude and I'm wanting to bulk up some, block out my silhouette instead of having a wasp waist and stuff.

Also, I really, really miss bread. 
Reply
:iconartsy-alex:
Artsy-Alex Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
One word...JEALOUSY
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
The two in particular haven't seen me in person in a while so it's going to be a shocker for them when they do two weekends from now (by which time I expect to have shed 20lbs) and I'ma be like :nana:
Reply
:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm happy for your progress, but as for your friends this whole fat acceptance is just going to lead to irreversible health issues in the future.

I've never been fat so I can't say what it's like being in their shoes but I have health issues of my own to contend with and regardless of being fat or thin, it's important to take care of yourself. you can also love yourself and want to make yourself healthier, nothing wrong with that.

But your friends need to pull their heads out of their butts before they end up with their first heart attack.
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
I have recurring sciatic back issues and I know that the heavier I am, the more likely those issues are to flare up, so that's a big one for me to be losing weight. Not to mention my sister in law is my age but weighs upwards of 300lbs and has had to have double knee surgery due to the damage her weight has done to her knees. That's not something I want to go through. It's okay though, while they're hung over tomorrow morning, or in a food coma, I'll be hiking another 20kms :D
Reply
:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I live with sciatica too, dear. So I feel your pain, literally.

And I'm sorry to hear about your sister, sounds like she needs to turn her life around too before things get worse than knee surgery.

But good on you being proactive about your health. Your friends should be looking up to you instead of down, but they'll learn one day. Hopefully.
Reply
:iconkarl799:
karl799 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018  New Deviant
I think that you should not pay attention to those friends who speak badly, do not know what you have had to do to achieve what you came to, keep working and do not stop to what the people say there truly begins the love towards you
Reply
:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018  Professional Artisan Crafter
Congrats on the progress you made so far! :clap:

As for your friends, they are a bucket of crabs who want to pull you back in with them. :nod:
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
I'm one pound away from a 20lb loss now so I'm like :la: The short term enjoyment of drinking my face off or eating until I can't eat anymore is much less than that I'm getting from this longterm process.
Reply
:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018  Professional Artisan Crafter
Keep it up! :iconcheerplz:
Reply
:iconshidaku:
Shidaku Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018
OH I know it's so stupid.  Everyone is supposed to love themselves but everyone is also supposed to be free to do as they damn well please.  Also: loving yourself doesn't mean that you find the state of your body acceptable.  You can love yourself and hate your beer belly at the same time.

I need to do all the things you're doing.  

Lose weight!  Kick ass!  Burn calories!  BURN THEM ALL!
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
I feel like what I'm doing IS because I love myself. I wouldn't go through all this effort because I hate me; I'd be letting myself go in that case. There was just some serious physical discomfort at the end there (before I actively started pursuing a better lifestyle) from having a drastically increased body size over a short amount of time so that it was very noticeable to me just while sitting on the couch or trotting up the stairs, it was hard to ignore or get used to. Mine is actually largely beer belly too which is like :XD: Damn delicious micro brews :shakefist:

The funny thing is I didn't think I'd actually even get this far. It seemed so daunting, and as mentioned I'm not spending hours in a gym or living on celery sticks or anything so I didn't expect to see results, if at all, for a long, long time. Turns out an hour's walk 4-5 days a week and a smidge of swimming with weekend hikes thrown in here and there went a loooong way further than I ever thought it could. And for the most part I enjoy what I eat (I fucking miss ramen though, sweet Raptor Jesus I miss ramen :tears:) but I'm also constantly tracking my food intake and macros and making certain I don't go over my calories. There's a lot of math going on but the website I'm on helps do all the hard stuff so that helped a lot.

DO IT. BURN ALL THE CALORIES WITH ME.
Reply
:iconshidaku:
Shidaku Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
Right?  I mean I kinda just started noticing it a couple months ago, and yeah, hating yourself is more likely to lead to letting go rather than working hard.  So I'm slowly getting back into the exercise and eating right thing, used to do it all the time because that's what I enjoyed, then I got lazy.  And it's really funny how much a "beer belly" is a thing, like, I stopped drinking beer on a regular basis and immediately noticed well, less me.

Yep, I know what you mean, for me its getting back into doing all of that.  Keeping it small at first, play tennis at least once a week.  Once I stop feeling like every muscle in my body was lit on fire from doing that, I'll bump it up to twice and so on.  I'm not big on calorie counting through, I know it works for some people but I just don't like it.  Personally, I hate Ramen but it's just such an easy snack!  I need to start restocking fruits in the house, used to always have a basket of them.  I don't care if I ever have a 34" waist again, but I'll be damned if I ever have to wear a 40".
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
Since I'm not engaging in a whole lot of exercise to burn excess calories, the counting helps me from not going overboard and messing it all up (3500 burned calories = about 1lb fat) and the tracking lets me see what I'm eating way more clearly. I hadn't been eating nearly enough protein which explains why the last time I was weight training (winter 2016-17) that I wasn't seeing results, but I had no clue until I started tracking and counting. It's a tool that definitely works for me!

I usually would lightly stir fry a ton of fresh veggies (peppers, zucchini, onion, snap peas, bok choy) and toss it with the ramen so one little packet would give me two meals, but there's still so much sodium in the flavour packets that I just can't justify it. It was more like a noodle stir fry than soup most of the time but hey hah.

The trick for me will be after my co-op ends and my classes start back up again, and not just falling back into my same old bad habits. I HATE winter too so it makes me just want to stay inside drinking mug after mug of hot chocolate haha. 
Reply
:iconshidaku:
Shidaku Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
Well I'm glad it works for you!

Oh man, THATS what I'm missing!  My stir-fry pan.  I knew I was missing something around the house since I moved.  Stir fry sounds good come to think of it.  

What I really need to just completely shut down is getting fast food.  I've gotten better, it's maybe once a week now, but I really need to stop entirely.  

Oh yeah, I'm in Wyoming so I know how those winters can be.  I keep looking on Craigslist and stuff for one of those in-home-gyms for cheap, yet to find one.
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
When I was working in the mall over the winter I was one store over from the Tim Hortons so I was drinking a lot of their coffees and eating snack wraps and other such junk, but I was notorious for grabbing Wendy's on the way home when it was 9:30pm and I was starving and didn't want to cook. I'll be going back to that job in the Fall too so that's another pitfall I'll have to work at avoiding.

I like to think I'd actually use one of those but I have free weights at home and barely touched them so I doubt I'd make use of that if I had one :lol: I'm such a lazy turtle.
Reply
:iconshidaku:
Shidaku Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
Wendys has really upped their game in the fast food market haven't they?  But FUCK it is still full of sodium, like HOLY FUCK ARE THE OCEANS LOW ON SALT NOW?  Part of my grabbing so much fast food in the past couple months was mostly me just feeling like shit in my marriage, I didn't really feel like my soon-to-be-ex-wife valued my cooking (and just recently she even said as much) so I started cooking less and less.

I dunno, there's something different between free weights and those home-gym things to me.  I dunno, I can't ever motivate myself enough to use free weights.  

Cooking would be a lot easier if I had someone to wash all my dishes tho.  Damn I don't like doing that.
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2018
I just have a horrible weak spot for their bacon mushroom melt and their spicy chicken sammiches. Although I haven't had any legit fast food in months so I'd probably feel like I got run over by a dump truck if I ate it now :lol: Salt was another one of those omg things that when I started to track my food I was like holy shit way too much sodium.

I'm sorry your basically-ex-wife-thing is so sheisty about your cooking. Regardless of whether it's a gourmet meal or his throwing on an extra burger patty for me to eat bun-free, I'm always grateful when my man creature cooks for me. I think that's a side effect of having been a professional cook though, you get bitter about always being the one feeding other people after a while :lol: I actually don't mind doing the dishes if I'm only feeding myself or myself and my man creature, cleaning up after my in-laws makes me pretty cranky as they are absolute slobs. Plus I tend to clean as I cook so there's less left over at the end (except our kitchen is usually such a nightmare that I have to clean the whole damned kitchen before I can cook and so run out of cleaning steam by the time it's the turn for the new dirty stuff to get cleaned.)

Free weights seemed less scary, which is why I got into them. Honestly I'm probably just making excuses there too, something else to work on. Maybe I'll do the farmer carry when I get home around the pool a few times and see how that goes. I've lost quite a bit of the muscle I'd packed on working in a kitchen last year and I don't want it allllll to melt away completely... I like having muscles!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconrainbowz4:
Rainbowz4 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018  Student General Artist
Sexual purposes aside, I've never understood why anyone would want to become fat or why anyone would want to stay fat, especially when it comes to the excuse of diets being hard. What is so hard about stopping your hands from pouring more food into your mouth? What is so hard about sacrificing 30 minutes to just jog a little? I don't get it. I just don't.
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018
I'm pretty darn lazy (my boyfriend likes to describe me as "chained to my computer" at times :lol:) but even I'm making the effort now. It's true the further you are from where you want to be the harder it's going to get but knowing that why would anyone allow it to get WORSE like :noes: And as daunting as it may be, it seems far worse to me to live in a state that causes you discomfort and unhappiness rather than put in the effort to better yourself. But in the case of these friends telling me otherwise, they basically get home from work, eat a whole bunch of junk, drink a lot and don't really... do, anything. I get the feeling when nobody is around they still do that but just stare at a TV or PC screen. Although if the weight sloooowly creeps on I can see it sort of being a "surprise" because you can't easily notice it but eventually your damn pants won't fit (that was my moment of change) and you can't ignore it anymore. 
Reply
:iconrainbowz4:
Rainbowz4 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018  Student General Artist
I get that. I completely get why people get fat- laziness, physical illness and the rest are perfectly understandable reasons, but I can't comprehend why people care more about the explanation than the solution, and why people refuse to seek a solution. 
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018
Especially when, unless there's serious medical reasons or injury, it's actually pretty darn simple!
Reply
:iconrainbowz4:
Rainbowz4 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018  Student General Artist
People who give in to their own desires despite their obvious drawbacks are pathetic and confusing.
Reply
:icontiffanysherii:
TiffanySherii Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018
:roll:
Reply
:iconrainbowz4:
Rainbowz4 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018  Student General Artist
:| (Blank Stare) 
Reply
:iconcaptain-spleen:
captain-spleen Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
gains goblins
even tho ur not trying to gain mass
that's the only term i know to describe these types
Reply
Add a Comment: