As someone who has lost an obscene amount of weight nearly over 100 LBs I'm much happier now and feel better than I did. But they are half right, learn to love yourself the way you are that way any change is like climbing everest and makes everything so much more worth the effort.
LuminaaraFeatured By OwnerJul 14, 2018Hobbyist General Artist
All this "stay who you are" shit is dumb anyway. If you "stay who you are" you cannot improve as a person.
They mean "love what you cannot change". But in this case you can change a thing. Doesn't mean you have to hate yourself, but you can love how you make progress in reaching your goal, in this case the goal of becoming thinner.
Don't listen to them. They may die on diabetes and whatnot while you will become thinner and healthier.
i think being healthy like what you do is the same with loving yourself though. i mean its a proof that you love your own body by being doing an healthy lifestyle. i dont see anything wrong with that :/
well, its up to them to choose which lifestyle they want is what i mean, and you choose to be healthy.
i still dont get it why they are saying stuff like that, here in my country, people are encouraging them who try to be healthy like how you did.
you need to exercise a little bit though, mate. once you re used to it, it will be fun. maybe a simple exercise that you could done in home would be perfect xD sorry about my english lol
I always wonder how those people that "love themselves as they are" live. If seems rather unfulfilling to me when there's nothing in life to strife for, no means of self-improvement or whatsoever. Don't get me wrong. I think self-acceptance is great, especially for things you cannot change (health issues, handicaps, etc), but it seems like such a waste to me when you just sit around and do nothing and don't ever aim for a new goal or a new skill.
As for your friends. It's common for people to not understand or be opposed to change. If you're happy with the choices you made, perhaps you need to find yourself a new group of friends that share your newfound interests.
Your friends felt bad because you try to be healthy. I can imagine how annoying it is not able to tie the damn shoelace. Especially when shoelaces for some reason always find their way to untie themselves.
My mother gets overly concerned that I'm anorexic or something whenever I put myself on a scale. Like, I'm just checking to make sure I'm still a healthy weight because I don't have a healthy, stable diet.
Plus, having a lifestyle change is half the time seen as a negative thing.
If you're big but trying to lose a little bit of weight, people don't believe you. If you're eating healthy but decide to eat a little junk food, It's considered a bad thing. If you don't have a fitness model's body, your progress is not enough. If you're doing it because you love yourself, you have low self-esteem issues and you're doing it because you hate yourself.
Even the Healthy At Any Size movement gets shitted on and they wonder why people give up.
The worse part about it that we have such a negative relationship with food and exercise that we don't know how to have a positive one without someone commenting on it.
I don't think that their reactions had much to do with your decision, I think it's just a projection. You have the urge to change. Sometimes when people are buried in their insecurities, it's difficult to be around people who are actively fighting their own. Plus it doesn't help that we're very social creatures and we feed and influence each other about everything. It makes our bad habits appear to be normal habits, because everyone around us is doing the exact same thing.
Maybe in this situation, it would be good to show some kindness. Your friends are obviously struggling with something, even if they swear they might not be. Their actions speak much louder then their words and that over reaction and defensiveness is deep. Don't be upset at them. Just do what's good for you and show them how much better you feel while you do it. Not in the form of rubbing it in their face, you know? Just live free and inspire change silently.
Edit: Even if I'm wrong and that trash they're talking is completely genuine and how they really really feel and they're just so concerned: A little extra kindness never hurt anything. It's a win for everyone.
Very good for you for seeing a problem and wanting to change it. That's fantastic.
It's the one's birthday in 2 weekends and the bunch of us will be together so I'm hoping seeing that I am in fact not wasting away but simply returning to a more healthful lifestyle, maybe they'll see the light in my actions. I don't expect most of them to try and join me but maybe they'll at least drink less and maybe eat a little better.
My mother always said kill them with kindness haha.
If I inspire anybody, being the lazy turtle I am, I'm all for it! As I mentioned to someone else, I think I'll do some farmer carries with free weights tonight, since I didn't get out for my usual walk due to rain this afternoon anyway (it feels so wrong when I don't have my walk haha, like I'm betraying myself)
Self improvement is important and I'm as proud of you as an internet stranger could possibly be! I've never been there with this particular issue--I'm on the opposite end, trying to get...less anorexic, basically--but I can attest yeah any time you try to get better, people are gonna want to pull you back down so you can wallow with them in being worse. Don't listen to them, follow your dreams and get your ideal body.
A close friend of mine was "ideally thin" for years and years, except she was actually extremely ill and her body was incapable of putting on weight since she had severe digestive issues, nausea, and was simply exhausted all the time and it just ate her up. When the docs finally put her on meds that finally gave her relief and she started putting on healthy weight, SO many people started to panic like OH NO SHE IS GETTING BIGGER THIS MUST BE BAD. She was actually super happy about it! She was 32 and hadn't had breasts for most of her adult life because she'd been so damned thin, and she said she wasn't as cold anymore, had more energy etc. But people focus on what they can see I guess. :/
Ah see I...got this thin on purpose. It's only 125 pounds but I'm real tired of being shaky and cold all the time, I miss being able to lift stuff. Plus I'm a trans dude and I'm wanting to bulk up some, block out my silhouette instead of having a wasp waist and stuff.
I'm happy for your progress, but as for your friends this whole fat acceptance is just going to lead to irreversible health issues in the future.
I've never been fat so I can't say what it's like being in their shoes but I have health issues of my own to contend with and regardless of being fat or thin, it's important to take care of yourself. you can also love yourself and want to make yourself healthier, nothing wrong with that.
But your friends need to pull their heads out of their butts before they end up with their first heart attack.
I have recurring sciatic back issues and I know that the heavier I am, the more likely those issues are to flare up, so that's a big one for me to be losing weight. Not to mention my sister in law is my age but weighs upwards of 300lbs and has had to have double knee surgery due to the damage her weight has done to her knees. That's not something I want to go through. It's okay though, while they're hung over tomorrow morning, or in a food coma, I'll be hiking another 20kms
I think that you should not pay attention to those friends who speak badly, do not know what you have had to do to achieve what you came to, keep working and do not stop to what the people say there truly begins the love towards you
OH I know it's so stupid. Everyone is supposed to love themselves but everyone is also supposed to be free to do as they damn well please. Also: loving yourself doesn't mean that you find the state of your body acceptable. You can love yourself and hate your beer belly at the same time.
I need to do all the things you're doing.
Lose weight! Kick ass! Burn calories! BURN THEM ALL!
I feel like what I'm doing IS because I love myself. I wouldn't go through all this effort because I hate me; I'd be letting myself go in that case. There was just some serious physical discomfort at the end there (before I actively started pursuing a better lifestyle) from having a drastically increased body size over a short amount of time so that it was very noticeable to me just while sitting on the couch or trotting up the stairs, it was hard to ignore or get used to. Mine is actually largely beer belly too which is like Damn delicious micro brews
The funny thing is I didn't think I'd actually even get this far. It seemed so daunting, and as mentioned I'm not spending hours in a gym or living on celery sticks or anything so I didn't expect to see results, if at all, for a long, long time. Turns out an hour's walk 4-5 days a week and a smidge of swimming with weekend hikes thrown in here and there went a loooong way further than I ever thought it could. And for the most part I enjoy what I eat (I fucking miss ramen though, sweet Raptor Jesus I miss ramen ) but I'm also constantly tracking my food intake and macros and making certain I don't go over my calories. There's a lot of math going on but the website I'm on helps do all the hard stuff so that helped a lot.
Right? I mean I kinda just started noticing it a couple months ago, and yeah, hating yourself is more likely to lead to letting go rather than working hard. So I'm slowly getting back into the exercise and eating right thing, used to do it all the time because that's what I enjoyed, then I got lazy. And it's really funny how much a "beer belly" is a thing, like, I stopped drinking beer on a regular basis and immediately noticed well, less me.
Yep, I know what you mean, for me its getting back into doing all of that. Keeping it small at first, play tennis at least once a week. Once I stop feeling like every muscle in my body was lit on fire from doing that, I'll bump it up to twice and so on. I'm not big on calorie counting through, I know it works for some people but I just don't like it. Personally, I hate Ramen but it's just such an easy snack! I need to start restocking fruits in the house, used to always have a basket of them. I don't care if I ever have a 34" waist again, but I'll be damned if I ever have to wear a 40".
Since I'm not engaging in a whole lot of exercise to burn excess calories, the counting helps me from not going overboard and messing it all up (3500 burned calories = about 1lb fat) and the tracking lets me see what I'm eating way more clearly. I hadn't been eating nearly enough protein which explains why the last time I was weight training (winter 2016-17) that I wasn't seeing results, but I had no clue until I started tracking and counting. It's a tool that definitely works for me!
I usually would lightly stir fry a ton of fresh veggies (peppers, zucchini, onion, snap peas, bok choy) and toss it with the ramen so one little packet would give me two meals, but there's still so much sodium in the flavour packets that I just can't justify it. It was more like a noodle stir fry than soup most of the time but hey hah.
The trick for me will be after my co-op ends and my classes start back up again, and not just falling back into my same old bad habits. I HATE winter too so it makes me just want to stay inside drinking mug after mug of hot chocolate haha.
When I was working in the mall over the winter I was one store over from the Tim Hortons so I was drinking a lot of their coffees and eating snack wraps and other such junk, but I was notorious for grabbing Wendy's on the way home when it was 9:30pm and I was starving and didn't want to cook. I'll be going back to that job in the Fall too so that's another pitfall I'll have to work at avoiding.
I like to think I'd actually use one of those but I have free weights at home and barely touched them so I doubt I'd make use of that if I had one I'm such a lazy turtle.
Wendys has really upped their game in the fast food market haven't they? But FUCK it is still full of sodium, like HOLY FUCK ARE THE OCEANS LOW ON SALT NOW? Part of my grabbing so much fast food in the past couple months was mostly me just feeling like shit in my marriage, I didn't really feel like my soon-to-be-ex-wife valued my cooking (and just recently she even said as much) so I started cooking less and less.
I dunno, there's something different between free weights and those home-gym things to me. I dunno, I can't ever motivate myself enough to use free weights.
Cooking would be a lot easier if I had someone to wash all my dishes tho. Damn I don't like doing that.
I just have a horrible weak spot for their bacon mushroom melt and their spicy chicken sammiches. Although I haven't had any legit fast food in months so I'd probably feel like I got run over by a dump truck if I ate it now Salt was another one of those omg things that when I started to track my food I was like holy shit way too much sodium.
I'm sorry your basically-ex-wife-thing is so sheisty about your cooking. Regardless of whether it's a gourmet meal or his throwing on an extra burger patty for me to eat bun-free, I'm always grateful when my man creature cooks for me. I think that's a side effect of having been a professional cook though, you get bitter about always being the one feeding other people after a while I actually don't mind doing the dishes if I'm only feeding myself or myself and my man creature, cleaning up after my in-laws makes me pretty cranky as they are absolute slobs. Plus I tend to clean as I cook so there's less left over at the end (except our kitchen is usually such a nightmare that I have to clean the whole damned kitchen before I can cook and so run out of cleaning steam by the time it's the turn for the new dirty stuff to get cleaned.)
Free weights seemed less scary, which is why I got into them. Honestly I'm probably just making excuses there too, something else to work on. Maybe I'll do the farmer carry when I get home around the pool a few times and see how that goes. I've lost quite a bit of the muscle I'd packed on working in a kitchen last year and I don't want it allllll to melt away completely... I like having muscles!
Sexual purposes aside, I've never understood why anyone would want to become fat or why anyone would want to stay fat, especially when it comes to the excuse of diets being hard. What is so hard about stopping your hands from pouring more food into your mouth? What is so hard about sacrificing 30 minutes to just jog a little? I don't get it. I just don't.
I'm pretty darn lazy (my boyfriend likes to describe me as "chained to my computer" at times ) but even I'm making the effort now. It's true the further you are from where you want to be the harder it's going to get but knowing that why would anyone allow it to get WORSE like And as daunting as it may be, it seems far worse to me to live in a state that causes you discomfort and unhappiness rather than put in the effort to better yourself. But in the case of these friends telling me otherwise, they basically get home from work, eat a whole bunch of junk, drink a lot and don't really... do, anything. I get the feeling when nobody is around they still do that but just stare at a TV or PC screen. Although if the weight sloooowly creeps on I can see it sort of being a "surprise" because you can't easily notice it but eventually your damn pants won't fit (that was my moment of change) and you can't ignore it anymore.
I get that. I completely get why people get fat- laziness, physical illness and the rest are perfectly understandable reasons, but I can't comprehend why people care more about the explanation than the solution, and why people refuse to seek a solution.