Not everyone wants to have children.


aerogram's avatar
Okay, I'm tired of the whole pushing other people to have children ordeal. Not everyone wants to have a child.

Not every woman is going to want to be pregnant, and not every man will want to become a father. It's completely normal.

Oh, and let's not forget when people say things like "you'll change your mind". No, I won't. I never liked babies that much. I don't like the idea of me reproducing. I don't like the fact that I'm able to reproduce. It feels weird, and doesn't feel right to me that I have the ability to do that. I don't want to reproduce, I don't want to adopt. Nothing, nada. And no one can change my mind.

Taking care of a baby/child is not only too time consuming for someone like me, but I would have no patience for it. I can't even stand hearing babies cry. If I were to have a child for some reason, that child would not be an exception, I can guarantee you that.

And let's face it, taking care of a child is also a lot of commitment, and the person taking care of the child will be really occupied, and will have less time for work. Unless the child is old enough to go to school, etc. I don't want to take care of a child and for this to happen. I don't want to spend years taking care of a child and put my future career to wait until said child can attend school.

If someone wants to have a child, and does, hey, that's great! I have nothing against that, at all. I respect that. But, me having a child is not my jam at all. That's not what I want for myself, it would make me unhappy, and I'm tired of people expecting me to ~get married and have a child~.

I would like for people to stop assuming + acting like every person they know will have a child. Expecting everyone to have a child is not realistic, at all.

Society needs to stop looking at every human being as a baby-making machine.

To sum it up, society needs to stop trying to convince everyone to have a child. I'm tired of it.
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Tailspin101's avatar
My child development teacher always tells us that we will want children when we get older. She says that after we get our careers and get married, we will want to share our lives with our children. That may apply to some people but not everyone. That's why I don't know if I will have kids or get married. I know that if I wanted kids, I'd rather adopt than to give birth.
aerogram's avatar
Exactly, it doesn't apply to everyone.
Veevsi's avatar
 Just had the same thing yesterday. A woman that is about in her twenties, having two spoiled brats, a 13 year old CoD player and a 15 year old brat who is going out with a 35 year old man. That woman, after all that she has done to her children tells me that "I will change my mind about children", since I am young. I hate children, the thought of having one just as much. I won't give up my life, just because some people think "I will change my mind.", and even if I do, what about the child? I can't even take care of a potted plant, why would I do that to a living human being?

Sorry for the rant, but I felt like you understand... v.v
aerogram's avatar
It's alright, no need to worry!! I definitely understand.

And a 15 year old girl dating a 35 year old man? Yikes, that's really bad.
HimitsuUK's avatar
I only had to read the thread title.
HimitsuUK's avatar
It's self-explanatory.
aerogram's avatar
What's that supposed to mean? What does it explain?
Cr1chton's avatar
...That the thread title is a tl;dr.
Detonatress's avatar
I often avoid family reunions (and after last time at a funeral I really want to avoid them even more) because everyone says how much they expect me to "get out there and find a man and have children with him".

It's not something I have any plans for; I have dedicated my life to work, research and art. If people are so quick to defend free will (which seems like an illusion to me) then allow me to exercise my will to not do what others (nature included) want me to do.

They often give the following reasons:
- But when you will grow old you won't have anyone to take care of you.
- But God ordered us to keep reproducing and God is happiest when a human has children.

To argument number one: I refuse to use children as "free slaves". When children grow up they have their dreams, they have their own family if they choose to have one. There is no guarantee that your child will give up on his/her happiness to suffer next to you while his/her partner (and possibly kids) have to suffer instead. When I look at how difficult it is for my aunt, my mother and my cousin having to unite to pay for my grandmother's treatments and keeping her alive (in spite of her wish to die too...) it would make me feel sick about myself to have everyone waste their time and money on me. I perfectly understand my grandmother and I feel sorry for her.

To argument number two: I am agnostic. I don't follow any order that I am not sure where it really came from and I have only humans' words for it. We all know humans can be liars and manipulators too, and to believe that all humans tell the truth is naive. Even more that I highly doubt that God would be happy to see me bring to life a human that may become a scum of a person in spite of my and others' attempt to teach him/her to do no harm.
program-shutdown's avatar
I'm fine either way. I used to hate children but I don't mind them now as long as they dont behave like brats. I even found myself becoming mentor-like to one kid, which made me feel like a Jedi master or something :D

I will admit that I have a "functional" view on humanity, as in "the bloodline must continue" or something like that. But I respect those that dont want kids.
Rainbow-Skybird's avatar
I've been told "You'll want kids someday!" since I was like 14 and already didn't plan on having kids ever. I'm almost 26 now, and my desire for kids has gone even farther down since then. :lol: It's just too much money, time, and stress nowadays, especially if you don't have financial stability. I'm not raising a child in poverty like I had to grow up in. Let the families who can afford a child have them.

I wonder if it's just an ego thing, like these people say "I want a child" and seeing anyone say "I -dont- want a child" translates to "PEOPLE WHO HAVE CHILDREN ARE WRONG" in their head or something. :confused: Or they just have to be right about stuff and when someone says they don't want a kid, they feel like they're wrong and get aggressive about it.
sheena6556's avatar
Amen, amen, amen! I totally understand you as a woman who doesn't want children herself! At first one of my grandmas was in denial about me not wanting any but thankfully she's ok with it now.

Kids just stress me out... I also don't have the motherly nurture instinct at all. Even as a kid I never wanted anything to do with human babies, baby dolls or just dolls in general. With animals it's a completely different story! Honestly I'll probably turn into one of those crazy cat ladies in my old age.
aerogram's avatar
I don't think I really have that parental instinct, either.
sheena6556's avatar
It'd be really refreshing to hangout with you especially when there's a baby around. Literally all of my female friends would crowed around the baby cooing and aww-ing about how cute it is. Then there's me standing where I originally was feeling zero impulse to go and fake it.
aerogram's avatar
You sound pretty refreshing to hang out with too (-w-)b I don't find babies that cute or such a big deal, they're just babies.
sheena6556's avatar
Exactly they're just babies. They actually tend to make me a bit tense because they'll suddenly just start crying or screaming. I hate screaming anything it hurts my ears!

Have you ever had anyone show you childhood pictures too? One of my long time friend's Mom started showing me toddler and baby pictures of him and it was super awkward. She started fawning over them and asking me 'Wasn't he just the cutest?' I kept shifting my weight very uncomfortably because I honestly felt nothing looking at those pictures... 
aerogram's avatar
I hate hearing babies scream and cry, honestly.
sheena6556's avatar
It's the worst!
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ColorfullyMonotone's avatar
If I had a child I'll probably be on the news headlines within a month. :P I'm irresponsible as hell what makes you think I can magically gain some responsibility when I have a kid?
II-edison-II's avatar
Yup I agree. I am Ace (that's the shortened term for it) and i'm glad I found that out because it really matches up to me and how I feel.
Anyway...
I mean yes I think babies are gorgeous but I do not want any at all for a bunch of reasons. However that doesn't mean I don't want a relationship because I still want a loving relationship where I feel loved minus the, ahem, rude cuddling and children. I still want love basically. Just no children and the rude cuddling stuff please.
Worst thing is that my mum likes to bring this up from time to time, saying things like 'just wait until you have children'.
Hahahahahaha NO :stare:
Koui's avatar
my issue with children has been that they are mentally sociopaths; they don't feel empathy [they're Egocentric I mean...until they're at least 12, earlier if they're bullied] and the scary part is that people think its adorable :stare: even as they wreck your shit

the good news is that most of the adults in my life had relatively well behaved children [though bratty] however I am in no way prepared to have any---eventually? maybe, but by this point I haven't even had a boyfriend or a steady job :iconimdeadplz:
Rusty-Raccoon-735's avatar
I respect your opinion but... "mentally sociopaths"? When I hit about 14 years old, I began to value when I was earlier age more, because lately, I've been having pours of listlessness, post-trauma, and anger problems and this kind of stuff has made me wish a couple of times that some world apocalypse would happen so that "humans would stop being arrogant douchebags", despite me knowing not all of them are like that...

Heck, children are more open to you in younger ages, but in teen ages, they slowly start to distance... which is why, to the people that want to have them (not necessarily you), I advise cherishing their younger years... I've witnessed one of my siblings permanently lose their trust with my parents. I don't want to end up like that... no one does.
Koui's avatar
I'm afraid humans will never stop being arrogant douchebags, the good news is that some of them are nicer than others XD

Teenagers are hormonal and at a stage in their development where the chemistry and structure of their brains are changing; mood swings, [non clinical] depression, and even memory loss are going to effect everybody [the joys of puberty!], you just have to find ways of handling it in a positive way

and despite the cliche of loving parents= managable teenagers, my mother was a teacher for 26 years---there are lots of kids that are tyrants at home and angels in school [the opposite is also true!], how people act isn't always a reflection of how they were raised especially as teenagers----hell I was one of those kids that would be stuck in a mental rut for hours, didn't want to do anything short of breathing for long periods, and I was not a depressed person =p