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May 30, 2008
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Lulziest thing I've ever read.

:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner May 30, 2008
At first...It caused me to lawl uncontrollably.
But now it hurt. Now, I'm gagging on the floor.
I feel like crying.
It actually freakin' HURTS me.

It's been named, as the worst fanfic ever written.
At first, I thought some kid was doing this for the lulz.
But no,..Thanks to ED, I found out the shocking truth.
Her name is one we share...Tara Gilesbie.
She's "goff", because she shops at Hot Topic ((and travels from Arabia to The States everyday to do so...)) and wears black. Her pen-name is xxxbloodyrists666xxx, and this is her profile on Fanfiction.net. :

Im Tara. Im a Satanistr and if u dont lik me coz of dat den FUK OFF!. if ur a prep or a pozr den fuk off 2 koz ur gay!! here r sum fingz u shud no abot me.

likez: gothz, being goffik, satan, punkz, da coler black, bloood, ma bf Justin, rok muzik, suicide, vampirez, joel madden,

dislikez: prepz, posers, pink, beng alive, homphobez, skool, life, barbie, flamerz

Fave muzik: GC, MCR, Evinezenz, Linin prak, BLINK183, mraliyn manson, panik at da desko, fal out boy, from first 2 last, hothorne hites, all da odder goofik bandz

lest faveorite musik: ASHLEEE SIMPSON britney spearz, hilery duff, linzee lohan ALL POP

Fav movies: cropse bride, mean gurlz, van helsing, any odder horror moviw, nightmare b4 christmas, da ring, da ring 2, da grudg 2, saw2 and saw 3, da omen, scary movie 4, cursed, n da grudge.

o h c if ur gofik wit dis: [link] if ur not den fuk of!


.....
Warning. Epic Facepalm worthy fail ahead.
This is the first chapter of the worst fanfic ever.
Proceed with the utmost caution.
______________________________

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!
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Devious Comments

:icongummy-bear-power:
gummy-bear-power Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2008
The the flying frick is Panic at the Disco at all, in absolutely any variation and/or obscure usage of the word, "goth". :wtf:
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:iconevilsyndicatemember:
evilsyndicatemember Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2008  Professional Artist
:rofl: So awesome. :happycry:
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:iconlovehatecantdecide:
lovehatecantdecide Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2008
Oh god, what a wanker.
I love how she says she hates pop but then she lists MCR, Fall Out Boy and Panic At The Disco as her favourites.

OFF WITH HER HEAD!
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2008
Those are more, pop rock.
Micheal Jackson and.. uh...uhmmmmm...Jessica Simpson, are pop.
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:iconlovehatecantdecide:
lovehatecantdecide Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2008
Yeah I know.
I class anything played on the radio as pop; as in popular mainstream music.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2008
:lol: I guess that's a type of pop.
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:iconepicdesigns:
epicdesigns Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2008
hahah roffle
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:iconrainyskye:
Rainyskye Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2008
:|


...

Lmfao WOW XD
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:iconaytass:
AytaSS Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008
This is scary.
I'm transtorned.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008
Lolwhat??
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:icondodoman1:
dodoman1 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The most incredibly hilarious thing I've read all day was how this person misspelled Linkin Park as "Linin prak".
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008
x3 I like when Dumbledore walked in on them. XDDD
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:iconplenairium:
Plenairium Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2008
For a second there, I thought muzik was mudkip. :lol:

What kind of fanfic was that?! :rofl:
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008
A hideous one. :{
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:iconplenairium:
Plenairium Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008
A very hideous one. :ohnoes:
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008
Dx
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:iconbenjamin-the-fox:
Benjamin-the-Fox Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Is this a fanfic or a fashion magazine article?!

Also, persecution complex LOL.

"Darn Preps, always LOOKING at me. I haet them!"

Sheesh.
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:iconelenamanetta:
ElenaManetta Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
FANGRLZ
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
0.0
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:iconmci021:
mci021 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
This makes my head hurt. I seriously hope this person doesn't speak English as their first language.

In fact, I hope that a lobotomy is the primary reason that this sucks as badly as it does.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
Dyslexia?
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:iconmci021:
mci021 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
No, this is failing so badly it has to be failing on purpose. They MUST be trying to make it this awful.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
I don't think she is.:lol:
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:iconmci021:
mci021 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2008  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Perhaps she thinks she's being awesome, but clearly, that is a misconception. So, she's failing awesomely.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2008
:nod:
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:iconazakui:
Azakui Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
o_o
Oh God no.. :icondoublefacepalmplz: Oh why did I ignore the warniiiing D:
Excuse me while I go to corner to cry.

But it's still so much lulz. :lol: Oh no, now I have mixed feelings.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
:nod: I know wut u mean...
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:iconhodengai:
hodengai Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
Damn and I had just succeeded in forgetting about it after the first time I read it.
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:iconhappyduckcreator:
HappyDuckCreator Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay, read all of that whilst listening to this, it's just funny:
[link]

That's the most goffik ting I've read al dai!
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:iconblood-oath7:
Blood-Oath7 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
One quote is still disturbing me...
Little miss Goofic here stated "I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major hottie."

Is it not just a teensy bit weird to want to be related to someone you consider "Hot"?
Or is this some new fangled new age thing that the damn hippies started when I wasn't looking?
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
Eh. :/ Incest is the new way.
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:iconblood-oath7:
Blood-Oath7 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
*shudders* Whatever happened to this world...

:( /mourn
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
:iconsadnodplz:
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:iconaikotakada:
AikoTakada Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
Oh my bujezus, I just read the whole fanfiction. And the most brilliant thing ever:


“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!



I'm going to use that, somehow...
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
xD I CAN'T stop laughing at that part...oh god, I choked on my water~~
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:iconimmortalecstasydream:
ImmortalEcstasyDream Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008  Student Writer
:rofl: I read through the whole thing now. Holy shit, that was awful.

“And Loopin was masticating to it!”
Lupin? Masturbating? I really doubt he was chewing to it.

“he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.”
:lol: He was pointing his womb, eh? I'm not entirely sure how that works.

“Volfemort has him bondage!”
It turns out Voldemort is into kinky things. :eyes:

“You look kawai, girl.”
Oh wonderful, now they're weeaboos, too.

“Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures.”
WTF. Oh, you mean Care of Magical Creatures?

“Allah Kedavra!” It was……………………………….. Voldemort!”
Holy shit guys, Voldemort's Muslim now! :noes:

“gothic old man flu”
I really hope that's not contagious. :O

“and made cool tears down my feces”
I don't even want to know.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
Oh gawd I'm rofling again. :rofl:
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:iconimmortalecstasydream:
ImmortalEcstasyDream Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008  Student Writer
:lol:
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:iconraptonx:
raptonx Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh god, the grammar, it burns!!
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:iconinkyluca:
Inkyluca Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
ah.
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:iconladylovey:
ladylovey Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
This was in the review
"All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore"

I honestly thought it said ...
All day we sat angerly fingering (about) Dumbelldore
:|
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
:iconthefaceplz:
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:iconyellowteddybear:
YellowTeddyBear Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
:lol:
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:iconbrontolina:
brontolina Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
she shops at Hot Topic ((and travels from Arabia to The States everyday to do so...))

1) Arabia isn't a country. Saudi Arabia, or United Arab Emirates maybe?

2) I highly doubt she does.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
Eh, whever. :/
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:iconstarrypawz:
starrypawz Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008  Hobbyist
My brain nearly exploded just then. And she mispelt the names of two of my favourite bands . D: If she hates Lindsey Lohan so much how come one of her favourite films is Mean Girls which stars her :|
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:iconmineephil:
MineePhil Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
Waitwaitwait. She wants to be related to a guy because she thinks he's hot?

...Ew.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
Incest!
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:icontazizzle:
Tazizzle Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
:lol: Linen Prak.
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:iconteko-chi:
Teko-chi Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008
:laughing:
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