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August 1
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Need some First Cover Advice..

:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2020  Student Digital Artist
When Two Families Cross Paths Is what I came up with for a title, but perhaps there is a better title that would stand out more. Plus the font Amperzand is what I used. But is there a better way to have the tile stand out more. Perhaps mix it up with a variety of fonts. 

Image is by Holivi the white rose represents the miracle foal the Black the Burden Foal. Do you think it works well for the cover. 

How about the tag line. Again should I use a different font.   

Do you think the grey is a good choice of should I use a different colour. 

When Two Families Cross Paths by LandOfTheClyony

Blurb...

   Blossom is a clyanthrian species with a unique tale of deep secrets hidden within her families history.  For over a decade and a half her parents struggled to have a foal of their own. Upon the news of her mother’s pregnancy, and her father told that this would be their last foal birth. Her parents' painful memories start to unfold.

 
   After eight years have passed since the birth of Blossom. A new family, Amos and his father moved to the lumber village of Oakwood Grove. Brining with them, their concealed painful memories. When the families young, Amos and Blossom embark on a rocky road to friendship. The hidden past of Blossoms, parents, and Amos' father come to the surface. Their family's futures are at stake. 


    Will Blossom be able to help keep her parents from splitting apart? And will Amos be able to help his father heal his shattered heart?

do you think the blurb is good or needs work?


Preface
   Beyond Earth’s starry skies, through a black hole, lies a whole new solar system with its own sun. Nine planets: Murka, Vella, Enderria, Molo, Jupata, Saturron, Unonna, Nepar, and Pomo span from the great giver of light and life to the darkness of the unknown. Of all planets, there is but one that has an abundance of life—the third planet from the blazing ball of fire—Enderria. Upon her rugged surface and vast waters lived the clyanthrians, a furry human-like equine species that has survived and thrived for generations.  
There are many stories that have been told about the clyanthrians; however, one stands out above the rest. It’s a tale of two unlikely family trees: one that struggled to sprout and flourish, and another with broken branches barely hanging on.
I hold out my hand and ask you to follow me into their stories as one family tree begins to bloom while the other struggles to heal. We begin our journey in one very special place: nestled deep within a thick, dense forest, in the peaceful village of Oakwood Grove, the home of Blossom’s family tree. 

Chapter list.

01. The note.  
02. Reflections of the Past
03. The doctors warning
04. Heirlooms
05. A father's worst fear
06. Holding onto hope
07. The sting of the upper class
08. The first date
09. The Past and the Present
10. Dr. Taylor's Confession
11. Juliette
12. Crowded
13. Mare talk. Fatherly advice
14. Complications
15. Two different lives collide  
16. The rocky road to friendship.
17. Meet the parents
18. Blizzaver
19. The Bully
20. Edward
21. Dr Franklin
22. Mother.  (6 parts )
23. A Buried Secret ( might be a part series )
24. Cameron and Bella
25. Crush
26. The horn. (Could be a part series )
27. The invitation.
28. The ex fiancée
29. Life without Forest.
30. Father…
21. Open wounds.
30. Forgiveness
31. The Letter.


No this is not fan fiction the story is about two Clyanthrian families 

Lead Characters.

Juliette Forest and their Daughter Blossom. Illustrated by the very Talented Holivi 
The Clyanthrians by LandOfTheClyony

The preface chapter list and character designs were added for the sole purpose to help aid others into helping me improve the cover. 

I’m open to any Suggestions, Advice, and tips to help the cover stand out more. 

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Devious Comments (Add yours)

:iconvglory:
vglory Featured By Owner Edited 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I would suggest looking at the Amazon top sellers list in your genre.  Your covers all read to me as sweet historical romance or family saga, but your blurb seems more science fantasy / YA.  That mismatch will make it harder for your readers to find you. Holivi's picture is more on message and attention grabbing.
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 3 hours ago  Student Digital Artist
Does this upgrade work...

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony
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:icontangiwai:
Tangiwai Featured By Owner Edited 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
The blurb on the back of the cover shown is actually pretty good.  The grey could be a lighter colour, it is a bit too dark.  The blurb described in the paragraph after needs editing.  It could be trimmed in length, reworded here and there to better focus on Blossom's birth/conception.  The second half about Amos feels kind of thrown in there, and doesn't feel connected especially when it's mentioned that Amos' dad might know Blossom's parents.

If that relationship is a linchpin for the plot between Amos and Blossom, I'm not feeling it in the blurb. 

It's a bit tacked on.
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student Digital Artist
Done a Mega Renovation reboot to Cover design to clarify what the novel is about. A furry human equine species called Clyanthrians. 

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony

kept the rose added the family image. done a tweak to make it look more Vintage, and worn down. So to be less attractive to kids. 

Title  ( Thorns of the past. ) 
Tagline ( He’s holding onto the memories, while she’s trying to bury the past. )

Blurb...  (   Juliette struggles for years to conceal a deep secret from her husband, Forest. His faint memories of his family haunt him even as his wife and their long-awaited daughter Blossom bring him joy. Blossom’s new friend Amos seems to have problems of his own that make the road to deep friendship rocky.
 When the many troubles of past and present combine and erupt through craggy hardened hearts…will the families be able to face the truth and rebuild? Or will the devastation be beyond repair? ) 

It’s more of an adult novel considering the lead characters are in their adult years. And the trigger warnings nature of the book. 

Blossom and the wild beast will follow and that one is about their daughter coming of age so tha5 one might be YA hadn’t decided

the third book is about her daughter Crystal Frost growing up with cold and cruel siblings. Who treat her so horrid.. here is the Tagline I just made up for this book “Her siblings are free to socialize, travel and make friends, while she is confided to isolation.” Just a taste of this book...

Five brothers  and two sisters torment her to hell over their parents strict rules their sister is ordered to follow.  “Mom and dad through us big birthday parties and we get to have friends. And travel while your cooped up  Forbidden to leave the estate grounds and Not allowed to have any friends. Want to know why because your a freak and mother and father are ashamed of you.” They are the siblings from hell. They tease her telling her that they were so ashamed of you they wouldn’t even give you away to the orphanage because they were worried you would scare the crap of the orphans. So they took the burden upon themselves to keep you cooped up here.”  Later on she discovers the truth. She grows up In the wood and falls in love with the general of an army, work a holic. Howeve4 when she is with his child. Fear of the dangers of the wild and wha5 he4 real father would do to he4 infant if he every found out. She gives her to Love Knight to raise. 

Next book is going to be the part with dealing with raising his daughter.. Treats he4 more like a Delinquent he has to move into a solider. Yeah he’s clueless how to raise an infant. Thankfully Tiger is on the scene and helps him out. She had a crush on Knight in her youth. However he Is engrossed in training to be a warrior of battle to even notice. This one is going to be a crazy wild story. 

And wait there are more in the series... too many I’ll be writing all day. 

Thank you Kindly for your input. It really helps. 

Hugs. 
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:icontangiwai:
Tangiwai Featured By Owner Edited 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Blurb is good.  The borders are good too, kind of ties everything together.  The rose on the back being faded looks nice too.  I think the rose on the front kind of overwhelms/overshadows the picture of Blossom and her family.  I keep looking at it rather than the picture. The really saturated colour of it in comparison to the subdued colour of the picture really confuses the eye.

I think the rose needs to be either taken out, made smaller, or slightly less colourful to fit in with the faded image, and the rose on the back.  I do like the border, but the difference between the scratchy back border and the solid line on the spine and on the front cover is kind of mismatched.  It doesn't quite fit that faded theme either.

Np on the feedback.  You're doing quite good.
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Digital Artist
Thank you Kindly did and upgrade. Might tinker with the font a bit more

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony


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:icontangiwai:
Tangiwai Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice changes. Looks good. I'm getting like an old film vibe from the picture on the cover or an old faded photo like from a photo album. Even the borders give that feel too. Very uniform in design. It fits together much better. I really like the texture on the grey in the cover. Not sure if its a marble effect or a colour effect. But it makes the rose on the back, the border, and the pic on the front cover pop. Very nice.
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:iconlytrigian:
Lytrigian Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
And this his why traditional publishers use professional designers to create their covers. Writing is one skill; graphic design and marketing are others.
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student Digital Artist
How about these upgrades...

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony


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:iconlytrigian:
Lytrigian Featured By Owner Edited 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not a graphic designer either, and not really qualified to critique. The text looks a bit odd without me being able to specify exactly why. However:
  • You should never put a period at the end of a title
  • Title on front cover looks like it's intruding into the artwork
  • Back cover blurb should probably be fully justified, not just left-justified.
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Digital Artist
Does this look better...

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony
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:iconlytrigian:
Lytrigian Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
In my entirely unqualified opinion, yes.
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:icontinselfire:
Tinselfire Featured By Owner 6 days ago   General Artist
For better or worse: If writers had more input on cover design, I would probably buy a lot more books. But no, cover design is certainly not something one jumps straight into from writing - or from painting for that matter.
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:iconlytrigian:
Lytrigian Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Some input, yes. Not every cover artist is Michael Whelan, and most sorely need at least some guidance.
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:icontinselfire:
Tinselfire Featured By Owner 6 days ago   General Artist
On second thought, admittedly it wasn't a fair suggestion since I currently don't buy any books at all, solely due to almost all covers making it to Sweden being... well, boring to death.
Coincidentally, in this case a lot of times that is interchangeable with "not being Whelan".
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Covers need to be representative of target market + genre
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Digital Artist
Does this work better?

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony

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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Are you writing a historical romance?
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Digital Artist
Fantasy family Drama I think the font needs to depict this better. The font choice is a challenge. 
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
it is not just the font that is an issue. You need to look at what is on the (virtual) bookshelf where you see your book going.
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:iconsaintartaud:
saintartaud Featured By Owner 6 days ago
I agree, the blurb needs work. The first sentence is a good hook, it focuses on the main protagonist and gives us a basic gist of the overarching "problem." I would just nix "clyantharian species" because apart from maybe appealing to one audience, it doesn't actually tells us anything really pertinent. A lot of the blurb is just back story that could be entirely cut. If you absolutely must have it, cut it to one line and make Blossom the focus. Some mention of setting might be important as well.

From more of a design standpoint, I think the cover is fine in terms of font, but the grey background is very dark and dour. I would lighten it up a few notches. This will also improve the contrast so the image of the roses "pops" a bit more. The black rose esp fades a bit into the back because the shades are very close in terms of levels.
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student Digital Artist
How do you feel about these upgrades to the
cover design 
title
tagline 
blurb

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony
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:iconsaintartaud:
saintartaud Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Definitely brighter than previous! Blurb is also better, more to-the-point and emphasizes the central question/conflict with that hook. Much more engaging. :thumbsup:
I think there are still issues with the design. Mainly, you've got way too much jammed into that spot where the text overlaps the rose that overlaps the photo. You need more white space around your text. I would also suggest a serif for author and back blurb. Serifs generally read better in print and better suit the aesthetic. Lastly, the rose is pasted flat over the photo, which detracts from the more realistic effect you seem to be going for w/the rose resting over the photograph.
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Digital Artist
Thank You kindly will tinker with the font More 

how do you about this Upgrade design.

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony
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:iconsaintartaud:
saintartaud Featured By Owner 1 day ago
A bit bland w/o the rose design, but much neater.
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:iconrasherusuzie:
RasheruSuzie Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2020  Professional Digital Artist
The cover is pleasant and easy to read but... it really doesn't tell me anything at all about the genre and setting, which are some of the most important parts of a cover. If I saw the thumbnail online I'd assume it's some of slice-of-life memoir set in the countryside. As for the blurb, I'd have the very first sentence be the hook of what the story is about, and what makes the story unique. The whole first paragraph is very confusing to me, I don't know what "a clyanthrian species" is lol, but I guess your target audience would, and it seems pointless to tell the reader "they struggled to give birth, then they did." I'm sure it's relevant in the story, but it's not very important in a synopsis. I recommend keeping to the essential and try to avoid passive words like "is" and use action verbs instead to describe the setting and story line.

Good luck!
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student Digital Artist
Does this work better....Did some Mega Renovations...

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony
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:iconrasherusuzie:
RasheruSuzie Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
Big improvements ^^ Only thing I'd do now is to make "of the" in the title smaller so it doesn't span over so much vertical space. Alternatively you could make all the title just a bit smaller to try to squeeze it on 2 lines ^^
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Digital Artist
Thank You. Did an Upgrade... does this work better?

Thorns of the Past by LandOfTheClyony
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:iconrasherusuzie:
RasheruSuzie Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional Digital Artist
it does read a lot better in my opinion. maybe "of the" would be cleaner on one line, and maybe squeezed in between "thorns" and "past", centered. worth experimenting with if you feel like it :3
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student Digital Artist
Thank you Kindly for the tip. Will make adjustments.
Hugs
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:iconlandoftheclyony:
LandOfTheClyony Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Student Digital Artist
Thank you kindly for your help. 

The novel is a Fantasy Drama...

    Blossoms family tree holds a unique tale of deep secrets hidden within her families history.
While her mother Juliette struggles to keep her personal past buried, and her father Forest desperately holding onto faint fragments of memories from his youth. A new family, Amos and his father Edward move to the lumber village of Oakwood Grove. Each carrying their own hidden deep secrets.
When the families young, Amos and Blossom embark on a rocky road to friendship. A clash of past memoirs bubble and burst to the surface. 
   Will Blossom be able to help keep her parents from splitting apart? And will Amos be able to help his father heal his shattered heart?




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