Forums: Share Your Poetry!!

Apr 19, 2014

I think you should deviate from your visual art more often! This is a lovely poem, so much imagery and strong sensory words, I think my favorite line is at the very beginning, you use the word "stench" to describe the flowers sweet smell, which at first seems wrong but when you reveal the smell masks "self indulgence and greed" the whole phrase really hits home. I really like the parallels you draw and the strong juxtaposition of your words, it's really impressive (even more so for someone who doesn't usually write poetry

)Great job and thanks for sharing!

TheStrategos

Grow Up, Grow Up Little Boy.Grow up, grow up little boy,
Be a man now, the world's no toy.
The manly man fears no war, no pain,
Nor hesitates to plunge his knife into another's heart,
To take away their chance to see their wife and child again.
Grow up, grow up little boy,
Can't you see that honour's a ploy,
A tool to fool the weak and gullible soul?
Never mistake this deceitful mask for truth,
Never lose sight of your profitable goal.
Grow up, grow up little boy,
Your compassion is so coy,
So riddled with inevitable hypocrisy.
Be true; stamp on those at your knees as they would stamp on you.
Such is life, such is nature, naught but a kratocracy.
Grow up, grow up little boy,
Hesitate not to destroy!
God, your country, your ideals are imperilled!
Draw your righteous sword, you and your elders are The Right.
Cut and kill until all who oppose you are impaled.
Grow up, grow up little boy,
Put aside all that gives you joy.
Work and profit are all that matter,
All else is but a foolish fantasy devoid of hope.
See how t

This one I wrote as a polemic protest against the easy excuses those who act badly use to justify their behaviour

The Lost ArtistLooking up, I see a proud peacock,
Standing tall with brilliant wings spread wide,
A thousand eyes, each a gemstone set in emerald satin.
The sight moves my very soul,
Stirs the deepest admiration and desire within my racing heart.
I need to be as him, I need to feel the beauty for myself
And spreading my wings wide I try!
I fail.
For I am just the birch-brown sparrow
And thus I fly away to hide my shame and sorrow.
Landing in a forest glade, lit silver by the moon,
I give into lonely sad sighing, cursing the dirty plumage of my birth,
When suddenly a soft, tinkling singing teases my ear.
Raising my tear-streaked head, I hear the nightingale’s song
And within my battered soul I feel the soothing touch of honey notes.
Moved, inspired, I open my beak to join in chorus
But the sharp caw which cracks out kills the beauty of the scene
And scares away the lovely songstress!
For I am just the birch-brown sparrow
And thus I fly away to hide my shame and sorrow.
Flying on in tears, I catc

This one I wrote while I was in a bit of despair and is a metaphor for all aspiring artists who try to achieve yet fall short and, having thrown everything into the attempt, are left broken by the experience.

Crimson LocksCrimson locks smile my way
Unknowingly, you’ve reached through the screen
Let my paint transcend that paper into flesh
An artistic curse, to be forever unaccomplished
So I welcome the dreamy illusions
Crimson locks smile my way
Embracing forever within my dreams
I’ll draw fiction into reality.
Let my paint transcend that paper into flesh
Searching for revelations,
Within the shredded memories
Crimson locks smile my way
Fiction slowly seeps into reality
Unable to distinguish between it
Let my paint transcend that paper into flesh
Not yet tangible, I make do.
Until we are face to face, I fantasize
Crimson locks smile my way
Let my paint transcend that paper into flesh

Both of these are wonderful, very from-the-heart. I could really feel the emotion behind them as I read. Great job, keep it up! And thanks for sharing

Thanks so much

I don't write poetry often, but this is something I did for a creative writing class. I'm pretty proud of it

Excellent execution of a Villanelle! The meaning is a bit obscure but the rhythm and flow is just lovely, thank you for sharing!

KunichiMinamino

Thank you for the complement

It means so much.
I've been told the meaning is a bit hard to decipher, but I kind of like it that way. I may fix it at some point though.

Oh no! It's not something to fix unless you intended the meaning to be very clear - obscurity means the reader can interpret the poem as they wish so it may not be a bad thing

KunichiMinamino

Yes, that's true!

thank you

JesseAllshouse

AlchemyAlchemy
Pigment plus Glycerin equals copulation.
Brush, water and canvas equal aspiration.
Electron and chakra energies make stimulation
that empower me with the gift of creation.
Dive deep into the serenity of meditation
and find...

Lasting ImpressionLasting Impression
We are faceless numbers marching to a single beat.
Walking the path of many on our tired aching feet.
Lies have spun from kids with guns.
They are innocent no more.
Man and energy wasted on weaponry;
Instead of time and care devoted to the poor.
Keep these words burning in your mind.
"Establishment is a plague, Humanity does the crime!"
Tattooed in your memory should be the mistakes of your past.
Learning from your emotions, hoping your intellect will last.

I like how straightforward your poems are, it is clear they have a purpose and they serve that purpose, rather well I would say. thank you for sharing!

RiiKarii

SmileSmile,
Pretend everything's okay.
They don't have to know.
Laugh,
Even though,
It's fake.
Cry,
When they're not around.
Scream,
When no one can hear you.
As far as they know,
You're okay.
They don't have to know.
They don't have to know!
You hurt,
And can't make it go away!
You cry in the night,
Nightmares everywhere!
Can't get away...
You just want to run away.
Nowhere to go.
Nowhere to hide.
They don't have to know,
No.
They don't have to know,
You lie about it.
The smiles,
The laughs,
It was all fake.
They don't have to know,
How much it really hurts.

Interesting format, and I really like the use of exclamation points in the second stanza, they draw attention to the intensity of the feelings. Thank you for sharing!!

brionyjones

FearI wish I could define you well enough to confront you.
To know the boundaries of your hold well enough to devise an escape.
Lucid thoughts stagger and fall into
a miasma of misgiving and self-doubt.
Are you the background noise that drives my successes.
The dial tone when there is a challenge to be faced?
You lurk on the outskirts of my personality.
The lingering silhouette in the corner of my eye that won’t
go away.

I mostly paint but i had a go at writing something recently

Very raw, very pointed, and I really like the metaphors you use. Keep it up, and thanks for sharing

brionyjones

Apr 5, 2014

Thanks for the encouragement I will try and write a little more
I quite like the idea of having short poems that go alongside my paintings

FosteredLiterature

I thought I knew love when I was ThirteenI took two birds whose nest had fallen down
From high on top our neighbor’s shrub, and placed
Them both inside a box with only the best
Paper and padding to help ease the pain.
I fed them every time they made a sound,
Ignorant on how to treat their wounds.
Their throats got caught and crammed, a sickening sight
I told myself would go away with time;
But soon, they choked and closed their eyes for good.
That night I cursed a god who’d let things die,
I cursed a mother who’d leave her kids behind,
I cursed the shrub from which a nest could fall.
It wouldn't be till eight years more,
I cursed the boy who thought he knew enough.

Hey! This is a fresh account I'm going to be using to promote my literature! Any form of attention is greatly appreciated!

Penance cannot be madeThere's a certain moonlight in your eyes,
that happens just before you cry --
I woke up in time to see it rise.
You asked for a cold river baptism
in the form of a hot shower and
invited me to absolve you of your sins.
I arose and led you to the shore line
to pin your hair back with my palms
and submerge you under scalding jets.
"I forgive you in the name of the father,
or the son..." Three Hail Marys,
one Deadbeat Dad. And you
finally went to sleep as I rolled over
and remembered a lie I told --
that forgiveness is absolute.
Your sins are mortal ones,
but I just wanted to see the sun.

These Virgin PagesPolished nails and faint fingertips
Soothing touch, but quaint red lips
Almond-shaped eyes, hazel iris gleam
Fair skin worthy of the loveliest dream
These words on paper
The very first
Starting the rhyme and verse
With more moments
And stories
All so poetic and stoic
Bleeding ink to fresh paper
Bleeding hearts to woeful ears
Tracing the lines
Of my formative years
Ashy mist skies nestled over
Bleak sleeping mountains
Ghost wood trees likes hands
Reaching from the earth
A girl named Olivia
Sitting in my grade school class
Dark hair woven
Threads of black silk
I never knew her as she grew up
Just an illusory form of a forgotten past
Imagining her as she could be now
I could walk up to her
And say:
“Hello Olivia, It’s been a while
You changed since being a child
Your beauty’s been enhanced
Maybe you’ll give the chance
To talk a

you do a wonderful job of putting your thoughts and feelings into words

'I thought I knew love when I was Thirteen' is a very strong piece, I like it a lot, and 'Penance cannot be made' is very interesting, I found I could interpret in in several ways which is always a good quality in a poem. Thanks for sharing!

The-Infamous-MrGates

Mar 27, 2014

Let me go in the DarkLet me go in the Dark
I want to be in there
In the space of corpulent, infectious glands
Swallowing innocence with labyrinthine hands
Let me be one with the Night
My home is over there
In a place of ubiquitous fears
And a plethora of basking tears
Let me soak in the abyss
The void is so near
A comely figure,
an evocative sadist and protégé
Dripping candle wax on me
in San Lorenzo, Paraguay
Let me walk among ghosts
In the Portal Del So hotel
Tossing back Xanax;
Vicodin with a liquor chaser
Gin and vermouth, Vodka,
anything to forget her.
Let me wait in living purgatory
With other pods of skin
When the wind shakes the barley,
back home
Where a wife and son
never left me alone.
Let me go in the dark
Past the tortured guilt and sorrow
Where a family is made of flesh
and not ash
Where a house remains
and the fires don’t last
Let me cry and weep in silence
In a room with rotting drapes
A static-channel TV,
a two blade ceiling fan
People engulfed in one another,
A demon for a man
Let m

Strangelove PhenomenaAdamant, nocturnal dalliance
Egregious, insidious, velvet ambiance
An unyielding, dark but brief love affair
The flagrant, seductive and comely au pair
The Eclectic, unmatched, Androgynous Circus
Red devils, black sheep and felines in service
Contortionists, gypsies, and malevolent magicians
All twisting to a dance played by faceless musicians
A night in Tunisia or a place above the Siene
Where else but all in the shadows of dreams?
Enchanted, redolent wonder of festive illumination
Her eyes absorbed, glimmering in the lush captivation
Enveloping, engulfing silk around our bodies
Days, nights measured by tragic commodities
Arpeggios, rippling across glistening string inventions
Bowing cellos; cellists bowing with audience permission
Masks, costumes, carnivals and the golden mirror
Cerulean dripping limbs that slither while near her
The alabaster piano played by a three-armed puppet
The statues turn and welcome us for a crumpet
Maria Callas sings Ave Maria backwards then s

I adore 'The Virgin Pages'! It's honest and clever and the sharp shift there in the middle of a stanza...just lovely

'Let me go in the Dark' is interesting as well, though it feels a little forced with some of the word choices. And, well, as I'm sure you already know 'Strangelove Phenomena' is a work of literary brilliance... Thank you very much for sharing! I enjoyed browsing your work.

The-Infamous-MrGates

thank you so much for reading. I know what you mean about "Let me go in the dark" so I'll work on revising that, but I'm very happy with what you said about "Virgin Pages".