Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login


Closed to new replies
November 27, 2012


Replies: 49

Hm...looking to critique/fave/comment on Literature of any types and perhaps watch. Also, birds.

Solaces Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
What the title says, because I'm really happy with the outcome last time I did this. All forms of lit welcome, although I'm particularly drawn to poetry, short fiction, and creative nonfiction. Not so big on fanfic, but if you'd like critique on it, I'd be willing to help. Also, feel free to post any paintings, photos, drawings, etc. of birds! I collect quality depictions of our feathery friends.:la:

Please specify if you want a detailed critique. I'm happy to give it, but I want to make sure it's wanted first.

You can no longer comment on this thread as it was closed due to no activity for a month.

Devious Comments

pwassonne Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist

(visual poetry, detailed critique wanted ^_^)

(fanfiction, critique appreciated, but if you have to choose one, please critique the other piece ^^")
Moryow Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012
I guess no critique, because this stuff is rather old, so it doesn't accurately reflect my current writing and some of the issues in them may have since been amended. (did that sentence make sense?)

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this! It's Glen by the way (from Anatheria way back when!)

librarylibrary labyrinth, I watched the shelves dissolve into a maze;
their walls a barrier that
I need,

I see

between books, and books, and paper;and words, they match her pupils;and letters, they warn me not to stare -
I stare, she does not stare back and so it's
back to pages and
shelves and
papers of olden days,
their flavours wave beneath my tired
nose my wakeful
nose my wary
breath my
open mouth my
beating heart my

heart it courses through my skin I feel
it pulsate;
escape to

shelves - they creak like cages; between bars between books I see her feathery waves they
crash on barren
I Will MarryI'll marry an intellect
and we will have endless conversions into the night,
exchanging profound words and infinite meaning,
and we will wind
the roots of life
and the universe will be ours.

I'll marry a musician
and we will serenade each other with
wild harmonies and
gentle melodies and our instruments
will weave themselves with our bodies
and the future will become a
symphony of swapping songs and singing ourselves
to sleep.

I'll marry a girl
and we will be more delicate than withering leaves
and we will be extensions
of each other; one continuous
river of soft, whispering water
that mirrors the pale sunset
funeralI did not speak at your funeral.
Though you knew me as a writer
I did not write a speech.
On the way to the funeral I stood on my
front porch and heard the
copper leaves rustle and
decided that was enough. The
wind spoke all that was needed from

The others wore black and
spoke black
even though the words were
I said nothing.
I did not
laugh or
cry. I heard jokes and happy memories
but I thought they were dark.
I could pour my memories into the
empty air and whisper how
something that created me was
I could murmur
that nothing
meant anything anymore
diddleh Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist

...I think I draw too many birds :P
Solaces Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
OMG! <3
diddleh Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hahaha I guess you came to the right person :P
Adonael Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Please take a look at the last poem I submitted. It's called 'Letter to a student' and I could use some comments. It's not normally my style so feedback would be helpful.
Solaces Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
Left a critique. Was a pleasure! :)
Adonael Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I saw. Thank you for the time you invested into it :)
Add a Comment: