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November 23, 2012
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Replies: 8

Literature - give love, get love

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:iconwitwitch:
~witwitch Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
Hello everyone!

For each comment you leave me on one of my poems, I will leave you a comment on one of your works.

Mother TongueGross gossamer gossip
flutters in on wings of gold;
gusts of narcotic glitter
nauseate eyes, ears and nose:

gullible guttergirl,
stuttering sweatshop slutwhore,
silver smile
liar--fry her: tell us more

Traverse twisted truths
in a labyrinth of locks
Lying, laying,
penetrating air of mocks

Breathe bitter broken glass
swallow synthetic secrets
fall to the floor;
sleep and speak a fool's feel test

A stark mark on floodplain
river bed, scribbled, smeared--
shifts, sifts through silt;
salty Nile of blood and tears
LibidoAphrodite sighs;
echoes scrape across wasteland
dried by your sun.


Simply post in this thread and also leave a comment, and I shall return the favor. :meow:
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Devious Comments

:iconchris-debuerk:
!Chris-DeBuerk Nov 28, 2012
The Disillusioned Chris DeBuerkChris De Buerk approached the Chris De Burgh mansion after navigating some heavy woodland. The imposing gates of the De Burgh residence lay before him like a massive problem. A massive problem. He pressed the intercom while perfecting his De Burgh fringe. "Yes? came the voice from the intercom. "It's Chris. Let me in." "No it isn't, go away." responded the voice. The intercom died. De Buerk stared at it, forlornly. You bastards. The gates. They had to be scaled. De Buerk grabbed hold of the cold steel and hoisted his middle aged carcass upwards. Onwards. Upwards. Downwards. Upwards again. "Chris" he wailed, " Chris! It's me – Chris! I'm coming, Chris!" De Buerks trouser leg had caught on the spike protruding from the top of the gate. "Be right with you, Chris!" he bellowed, ripping his trouser free. At that instant, Chris De Burgh's Mercedes approached the gates and they opened automatically. "Shit!" De Buerk screamed, the gates seperating beneath him. De Buerk was only going
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:icontrante:
~Trante Nov 23, 2012
How to kill a writerInk on a blank sheet, suck dry a body
through the pen sitting between a finger
and an open vein, he won't last longer
than the emptiness written about she.

               Doctor.

Words to enlighten the path leading your
spark to the edge of the world, it's futile
when you're already falling, it's obscure.

               Doctor,
               we're losing him.

Paper to walk on like a white tile
ready to be brok
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:iconseigner:
~Seigner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The prisionerThe mammoth stone door stands before her, with a gray color and covered with arcane runes. A strong shudder ran through her body, knowing what lay in those mountains, the evil locked behind those monolithic doors, but she needs to go, she must do it.

She pull out of her pocket a strange object, triangular and with a metallic luster, she puts it into an opening on the door, it trembles slightly and she can hear the loud crunch of metal, as the ancient gear mechanism began to operate. She push with all her might, the door shakes hard and slowly begins to open, while damp and putrid air emanates from the interior, making her walk backward.

Tak
Please...The city burned.
Both he and she were facing each other, she a mere mortal whose beauty was the only thing that could stop the advance of that demon.
He was once human, now by the ambitions and fears of humanity had become a monster that brought death and destruction in their wake.

His face wore an expression as full of rage and hatred as the world had ever seen, her eyes shone with a brightness of unspeakable evil.

"Out of my way, or die" he said.
"Please stop, this is not the person I know and love."
"That person shattered when his soul was devoured by my power." You can not stop me, nobody can do it, I'll consume this w
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:iconwitwitch:
~witwitch Nov 24, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks for your comment. :) Would you like a critique, grammar advice, or just a comment about the feel of the work?
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:iconseigner:
~Seigner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Just a comment will be fine, also any grammar advice will be welcome.
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:iconkingstephenarthur:
~KingStephenArthur Nov 23, 2012  Student Photographer
I don't really care about getting comments on my stuff honestly, but if you want to check these out that's all that really matters to me :) enjoy!
Greatness"Greatness Can be found in the mind of one, collective thought is how greatness is achieved"
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:iconwitwitch:
~witwitch Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
Hmmm. Well I suppose the first one counts as a piece of writing, but this was meant to be a literature thread.
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:iconkingstephenarthur:
~KingStephenArthur Nov 23, 2012  Student Photographer
:thumbsup:
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