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November 3, 2012
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Compilation of the erotic parts of Fifty Shades of Grey?

:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Professional General Artist
Does anyone know of an online compilation of just the erotic parts of FSoG? Because I have literally no interest in the rest of the story xDDD
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:iconfrutah:
frutah Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
I've been reading a blog of someone doing a chapter by chapter review of 50 Shades, and it's hilarious. Just a few quotes they got from the book:

"coming apart at the seams, like the spin cycle on a washing machine"

"my inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves"

"I could gaze at him all day, but I have needs – bathroom needs."

This is seriously the stupidest bullshit ever written. The author is like the Tommy Wiseau of books.
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:iconfrutah:
frutah Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
Not to mention stuff like this:

"My subconscious has woken. She's staring at me with pursed lips, tapping her foot."

I now categorize personified subconscious as the stupidest of stupid shit.
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:iconthestickemperor:
TheStickEmperor Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Professional General Artist
No, because that story sucks ass, and YOU would suck for liking it.

Seriously, that's the same as trying to take 4chan-quality pron scenes out of Twilight.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
Lol I actually dislike it without even having read it, simply based on how god-awful the grammar is xD
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Here you go! [link]
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

OMG that was the best thing ever <3
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:iconjellybean9000:
Jellybean9000 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm gonna bet that there might already be people trying to make "fan fictions" out of it.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
There probably are. I haven't seen any, but I'm not looking for them either xD

Honestly, from the passages I heard of the books, fan fiction would probably be better written. At least marginally better.
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:iconkoyukuk:
Koyukuk Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist
Hopefully you're looking for those to laugh at how terrible they are. [link] this review gives a good preview on how shitty it can be.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
That is exactly what I wanted 8D
Seriously, best thing ever - I was laughing so hard xD
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:iconsheridan-j:
Sheridan-J Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Please no :fear:
My mother was reading that book right next to me on a 16 hour plane trip. Most awkward 16 hours ever.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
EWWW! Yeesh, and I thought it was creepy when my mom told me she was reading it with her friend from work [who liked it D:]. Fortunately, my mother has good taste and said it was boring and badly-written xD
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:iconthemisplacedend:
TheMisplacedEnd Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Dat MILF porn.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
MILF porn xD
Still better than grandparent porn lol
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:iconthemisplacedend:
TheMisplacedEnd Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well by milf porn I meant 50 shades of grey is porn for milfs. Who knows what grandparents read. O.o
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:iconminavladenescu:
MinaVladenescu Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
I have never read 50 shades of Grey before. What is it about
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
Wikipedia - it's your friend xD
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:iconlaemperatrizmariana:
LaEmperatrizMariana Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This review describes the book better than I can: [link] I hope the link works. :shrug:
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Look at what this troll made about you: [link]
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
That is honestly one of the most entertaining things I've seen in Complaints; awesome :D
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:iconstaciesayshi:
StacieSaysHi Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Student General Artist
lol
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:iconwilky95:
Wilky95 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Yeah, so, just buy the whole book.

Guaranteed Wankisfaction
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
Eh, I don't spend money on things I'd probably never look at again after paging through them xD
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:icondragonflae:
Dragonflae Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
:stare: There are no words.
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:icongalaxygoddess:
GalaxyGoddess Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Try literotica. There's plenty of stuff there, and there's many that are "JUST THE SEX" kind of stuff.

It'll be better written, and more titilating and you're more likely to find what you're after.


Unless a good laugh, then I'm sure they have that too...
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
I'll definitely look into that! I'm always up for humor as well xD
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:iconcrimsonmagpie:
CrimsonMagpie Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Or you could just go to Google.com and type in ' bdsm porn'.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Lol that's a good idea xD
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Or you know, you could read well written bdsm stories?
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Lol I'm actually not so interested in the story itself. I'm just curious to see what my mom's friend was yammering on about. I heard some portions of the book read on TV and the grammar sounded like a 5th grader wrote it D:

I actually very rarely find bdsm literature that truly appeals to my interests... I like it hardcore xD. Although, I have to say, I love Venus in Furs; truly a brilliant piece of classic literature.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
NO STAHP
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
wat.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
STAAAAHP
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:iconroguishbard:
RoguishBard Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
[link]
Here's a good one.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
That was HILARIOUS xD
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There are no erotic scenes in 50 Shades of Grey. I read all three books and didn't find a single one.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Lol what I've heard didn't do anything for me either. It's hard for me to find bdsm literature that does it for me - I'm a hardcore person x3.

Also, I recognized your SN and avatar immediately from a post I saw a long while back, but I can't remember what post of yours I read... might it have been something about dip that tasted like armpit?
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I honestly don't know how it does anything for anyone. The author uses such vague language, they could be licking each others knees for all I know. :/

Sounds vaguely familiar. I have had dip that tasted like armpits. xD
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:iconsolaces:
Solaces Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Knee licking, you say? Now that's HAWT. :la:
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:iconagent-sarah:
Agent-Sarah Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If you're looking for the godawfully funny sex scenes on a serious site, it's not going to happen.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Lol I'll have to go looking somewhere else then. I seem to remember seeing a site once that had excerpts of poor writing with humorous commentary, but I don't recall what it was.
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:iconagent-sarah:
Agent-Sarah Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It is hard (no pun intended) to find a good written erotic BDSM novel that doesn't have a dim as hell lead character that gets fucked into a pirate or nearly gets hit by a bicycle (which it DOES HAPPEN in the 50 Shades book, I'm not joking).
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Filmographer
Fucked into a pirate? :lol:
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:iconagent-sarah:
Agent-Sarah Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
She actually yells out "Yarrrrgh!"
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:iconemopizza:
EmoPizza Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012   Traditional Artist
This made me giggly.
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:iconagent-sarah:
Agent-Sarah Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Same.
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
I'm really not surprised by that, honestly. Stuff like 50 Shades in particular is written by people who don't seem to truly understand what they're writing about. I think they're just experimenting and want to attempt to appeal to people who are just curious [like housewives who are bored with their sex lives lol].
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:iconferricplushy:
FerricPlushy Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
You know some stories are extremely erotic because you connect with the character and watch him or her grow, not because there's interesting gender ratios and/or nipple clamps
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:iconthatcrazyshaman:
ThatCrazyShaman Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Lol I know that; it's just when I read stuff of a pornographic nature, all I'm interested in is action. I have little-to-no interest in the emotional aspect of sex due to a personality disorder, so only the physical aspect does anything for me.
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:iconsomnusvorus:
Somnusvorus Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012   Digital Artist
This feels like something I should of read on 4chan... actually, you're probably better off asking /lit/ on the 4chan boards. :shrug:
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