I can relate to your fear of creating. I had a DA account many many years ago. At the time, I worked in traditional medium. I lived for art, I even started out my college career as an art major. After my first semester, I hated it and decided to switch majors and never make another piece of art again. I deleted my old DA account and everything. What helped me get over my fear of rejection of my art was a complete change of medium and style. I discovered glitch art and I fell in love with it. While you can certainly make a shitty piece of glitch art, its easy to forgive yourself when it doesn't come out exactly "right" because so much of it is determined by random chance. Been doing that for about a year now, and just rejoined DA.
I had to google glitch art, and it seems to be an interesting thing to experiment with. Personally I am a control freak, so I would likely not be to keen on leaving things to chance.
The decision you made must have been tough, but I I can sympathize with what you did. While I never really studied art at that level, I have several times put a lid on my creative ambitions, feeling that I'm not good enough (mostly due to comparing myself to the entire internet, which generally does not end well ). Now I just try to accept the level I am at, and focus on getting better
Your artwork is really good I'd have to say. Also all artist are afraid to show their work at one point in their art careers. You just have to man up. It took me so long to finally accept my work. I'm at that point where I just do art for self improvement and the fun factor. I used to be scared and shy to show my work in classes with godlike artists but now I don't care haha.
Oh and you gotta tell me your secret with portraits!
The part you write about art for self improvement I fully agree with - it keeps the focus away from the demand to produce perfect art, something that is not achievable anyway.
My secret with portraits that I want to be as "perfect" as possible, is that I cheat with grids and stuff to make sure the proportions gets as correct as they can be. The shading remains, of course, and that's where I spend most of the time drawing. The idea behind my "sketch diary" that I started from day one here, is to gradually get better at getting the proportions right without any aid.
I know how you feel. I am also reluctant when it comes to using these aiding methods because they, aside from feeling a bit like cheating, mean a lot of monotonous work - tracing a picture square by square like some sort of printer isn't exactly fun
A favourite artist of mine, Albrecht Dürer ([link]) apparently used grids all the way back in the 15:th century, and he was far from being the first one to use such tools.
Whoa that's awesome! I used to have an art instructor tell me, it doesn't matter if you use a grid since people would only care about the final product. He also told me, the only advantage you'll have over the grid is that you don't have to waste your time drawing grids thus making your drawings faster. I totally agree with you about the grids.
What really matters would be up to the individual artist to decide, but your teacher had a point about the final product being the most essential. In general that's my take on it as well, altough I respect that many artists feel that it is the method used and the craft itself that's interesting.
I seem to be similar to you. Sometimes when I draw something, I take way too long in finishing it because I feel that I'm going to screw something up if I don't work slowly on it. There are several things I've drawn that haven't made it to the site because of this.
After taking a look at your gallery, I have to say that I think your artwork looks rather good.
Taking long to finish a piece, as long as the result is good, is not a bad thing in my opinion. In the greater scope when you look back at your artwork it won't matter much if you spent 30 minutes or 3 hours on a drawing. As the years go on, those few minutes and hours you saved will seem less and less important, and the flaws that much more apparent.
The only time when time really matters is if you do art for a living - then it will probably be in your best interest to maximise your efficiency.