Why Should I Let You Sit On Me?
WELL SINCE IM A CHAIR AND I DO CHAIR STUFF, WHY SHOULD I LET YOU SIT ON ME? 
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You shouldn't. My butt's bony.
Because I am probably heavy enough to break you
This is what I do I sit on you, sit on you, sit on you! This is what I do I sit on you...right on yo lap 
This is what I do I sit on you, sit on you, sit on you! This is what I do I sit on you...right on your head! This is what I do, this is what I do, sit on you. This is what I do, sit on you. Sit sit sit sit sit sit, sit sit on you, sit sit sit on you. This is what I do I sit on you, sit on you, sit on you! This is what I do...
i sit on you.
And that answers your question
This is what I do I sit on you, sit on you, sit on you! This is what I do I sit on you...right on your head! This is what I do, this is what I do, sit on you. This is what I do, sit on you. Sit sit sit sit sit sit, sit sit on you, sit sit sit on you. This is what I do I sit on you, sit on you, sit on you! This is what I do...i sit on you.
And that answers your question
I have a fabulous ass. Also I'm in my undies right now.
Because I'm very sexy.
NOT SEXY ENOUGH
Your eyes aren't sexy enough. 
I'm actually not going to sit on you, but use you as a weapon to attack a frenemy of mines.
Because your a chair and chairs welcome peoples asses to sit on them......
If you were human or an anatomically correct chair, my fluffy hamster butt would wiggle on you until you become aroused.
'CAUSE
I got a great ass.
Because you are a chair, and I need to sit on something.
THERES ALSO THE FLOOR
But your more comfortable...
because I said so
BECAUSE THE ROCK SAID SO
well chair senpai, dont you wanna feel that ass 
Well, you can't defend yourself. too bad