Hello, polyamorous person here. Of course, I can only actually marry one of my partners because of the laws here, at least legally, but hey.
Let's face it, if it weren't natural then people wouldn't cheat. The vast majority of people will cheat at some point in their lives. Therefore...why the fuck not? Allowing each other to do whatever the hell we want as long as we're careful, vs. pressuring each other to never even LOOK at another person again which will probably make everyone involved miserable and drive a wedge between us - easy choice.
I would love to hear about how things work in as much detail as you would like to give. It kind of sounds like you have an open relationship as opposed to being married/"married" to more than one person.
When I lived in Spain, some of the Arab immigrants I knew tried to pull that. In their countries is fine, but in mine is not, anyhow, it was somehow common to know a man that had bring his wife with him and tried to get a second one there. It is shocking if you are not used to it
I have to be honest, I am not going to lie, it grosses me out big time, I would not accept that willingly, not for me, but what people does with their lives is their business, as far as does not affect me directly
YTcyberpunkFeatured By OwnerJan 8, 2013Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think *in theory* there's nothing wrong with it, if all parties are consenting. The problem is when people are raised in a culture where it's the only option, and don't realize that they don't have to accept a husband who will have other wives.
1. I don't want who I'm with to be with anyone else, and I want be with one person who wants just me as I want just them. Jealousy is something I just can't deal with, neither from myself or someone else and it's not something I'd want to bring to a relationship because it seems bound to happen at some point. 2. (maybe this should be on?) I'm amazed at the fact I can tolerate being around my boyfriend for more than a day or two, in fact I could be around him pretty much ALL THE TIME. This is unusual as I hate people being in my space, and I generally get very irritated when I don't get sufficient 'alone time'... I can't imagine trying to juggle all that with multiple people. 3. Between work, doing photography (portraits & such), school, and my kids I barely have time for the one person I'm with, I don't think trying to do it with more than one person would work well; well, we've actually broken up because of my lack of time and ability to commit to much.
Like I said; I know it can work for some people, I'm just not one of those people
I almost feel like having a third would free up more time.
For example, I just got home from work. My kids want attention, I need to go buy milk and my wife wants me to play video games with her. I just want to be alone for a while (not something I usually want but it's been a long week already). Second wife would really be handy here because there's basically not enough me to go around.
I'm fully aware that this may not work in practice anything like it did in the above paragraph. I suppose that's why I'm so curious about it, it's such an unknown to me.
I've lived that scenario... I don't know how much a second wife would be helpful 'cause a. kids want the attention from you. b. wife 1 wants attention from you. c. I guess she could go get the milk?
From what I understand it's kind of like an open marriage, but they have more than sex, they have relationships.
person A is dating person B and C. While person B and C aren't necessarily dating person B is with person D and A while C is with A and E and A can find F somewhere. (I don't know how far these things usually go )
Well, I don't have any experience myself with it but I've thought about it and I wouldn't mind trying it. I know some guys who had multiple girlfriends at once but kept it a secret from them. That didn't end well. The way I see it polygamy takes three very confident people to make it work otherwise there's going to be too much jealousy going on.
I personally do not mind it, wouldn't mind being in a polygamous relationship. I had a principle who had a co-wife with her husband, she was a very smart and confident lady, different things for different people I suppose
I'm not FROM here, but yeah, I've been living here a while and it's not something that's very common, but it is practiced and totally OK in the community in general. As long as the people involved all agree and are happy, everyone's cool. They tend to show it to be barbaric and unfair to women or something in documentaries and such, but all the women I know (and I know a few) are all strong, intelligent women who are confident, comfortable and happy with themselves and their relationships, so yes, it's a bit of a misconception people have about polygamy and Arab culture.
I guess that's where my curiosity came from. I've been very happily married for 8 years, I got married when I was 19 and I guess a trail of thoughts ended with me curious what would happen if another women was introduced into the mix. The more I thought about it the more it sounded... I dunno, almost normal. Thusly, I became curious.
Well, you'll most likely find people having a rater negative view on it, coming usually from misconceptions or from people who haven;t personally been living with it as a norm, so.. There are different norms in different places of the world and different societies, over her it is a norm,like having a few or a lot of kids, it's just a variation on marriage, really to me Although my fiance is very monogamous and maintains a desire for a 'one-on-one' marriage, I would never mind if he wanted another wife, it'd be more fun for me too
Dunno bout poygamy but I know some people who practice poyamory. One couple are married but they also date other people and have/had boyfriends and girlfriends. Some people I know have fuck-buddies outside their main relationship. Some of them do it because their partner doesn't share a kink or fetish they have but neither of them want to hinder the other from being fully satisfied. They all seem happy and it works for them. According to them make sure your personal relationship rules are clear, communicate a lot and be honest. Seems like fine advice for monogamous relationships too.
Just a regular guy, with 2 wives. The first wife threatened to drink bleach if he leaves her. So he didn't. The new wife threatened to kill him if he leaves her, so he didn't.
He's so fucking stupid and so are his wives. That's why it's so important for me to associate myself with awesome people, and not tolerate bs like this. Many people tolerate others too much. I simply drop them if they're just fucked up.
Yeah... it's just nuts. I don't know. I consider myself to be quite open minded, but if the wives or girlfriends aren't happy with the arrangement, then I don't know why they stick to that same man. Hell, that guy is not worth a shit. It's not like it's a happy polygamist family.
By the way, that guy is my uncle, so I have no choice but to recognise him as a kin. If he's a friend, he wouldn't be a friend.
Fair enough. But then again, I see tons of people in horrible, unhappy monogamous relationships that stay together and I don't understand why. I suppose I might not understand people thoroughly. Who knew?!
I never did so I guess it's pretty foreign to me. I ended an engagement when I was 18 and such. I dunno, I'm good at relationships though. I'm bad at pretty much every other real-world skill (making money, making friends, etc) but relationships I can do.