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January 6, 2013
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Does anyone have any thoughts or experience with polygamy?

:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
So I'm a little curious. I know polygamy is more common in some parts of the world and cultures than it is in mine. Does anyone have any thoughts or know anyone who practices polygamy?
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:iconstellar-delusion:
stellar-delusion Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:wave: Hello, polyamorous person here. Of course, I can only actually marry one of my partners because of the laws here, at least legally, but hey.

Let's face it, if it weren't natural then people wouldn't cheat. The vast majority of people will cheat at some point in their lives. Therefore...why the fuck not? Allowing each other to do whatever the hell we want as long as we're careful, vs. pressuring each other to never even LOOK at another person again which will probably make everyone involved miserable and drive a wedge between us - easy choice.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
I would love to hear about how things work in as much detail as you would like to give. It kind of sounds like you have an open relationship as opposed to being married/"married" to more than one person.

Please elaborate! I am interested!
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:iconjphyper:
Jphyper Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Aren't those the really tiny people who live on some Pacific islands?

Wait, those are pygmies. Never mind.
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:iconwizardofunseen:
WizardOfUnseen Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Nope
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013   Digital Artist
Too much work. One hormonally infused human is enough for me. It only gets weird and complicated when you start bringing in extra people.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Yeah, I can't argue with that.
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:iconmrsattila:
MrsAttila Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I'm a big believer in the speech by Aristophanes in Plato's symposium... which you could either educate yourself with by reading up on it or by listening to "The origin of love" (which is a song...)
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:iconchrisravensar:
chrisravensar Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Utah where polygamy was at one time popular was the first state to have the vote for women
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:iconbonnieknox:
BonnieKnox Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
When I lived in Spain, some of the Arab immigrants I knew tried to pull that. In their countries is fine, but in mine is not, anyhow, it was somehow common to know a man that had bring his wife with him and tried to get a second one there. It is shocking if you are not used to it

I have to be honest, I am not going to lie, it grosses me out big time, I would not accept that willingly, not for me, but what people does with their lives is their business, as far as does not affect me directly
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Interesting. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
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:iconbonnieknox:
BonnieKnox Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome! :)
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:iconstripedpower:
StripedPower Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013   Digital Artist
I don't know anyone who practices it.
...I don't think I'll ever get to know someone like that in my country.

I have no problems with polygamy.
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think *in theory* there's nothing wrong with it, if all parties are consenting. The problem is when people are raised in a culture where it's the only option, and don't realize that they don't have to accept a husband who will have other wives.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Yeah, it's not exactly a popular idea here in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
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:iconworldwar-tori:
WorldWar-Tori Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013   General Artist
I know a few people in polygamous relationships, it seems to work for them.

Personally; I wouldn't do it even if I was okay with it.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Why not?
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:iconworldwar-tori:
WorldWar-Tori Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013   General Artist
1. I don't want who I'm with to be with anyone else, and I want be with one person who wants just me as I want just them. Jealousy is something I just can't deal with, neither from myself or someone else and it's not something I'd want to bring to a relationship because it seems bound to happen at some point.
2. (maybe this should be on?) I'm amazed at the fact I can tolerate being around my boyfriend for more than a day or two, in fact I could be around him pretty much ALL THE TIME. This is unusual as I hate people being in my space, and I generally get very irritated when I don't get sufficient 'alone time'... I can't imagine trying to juggle all that with multiple people.
3. Between work, doing photography (portraits & such), school, and my kids I barely have time for the one person I'm with, I don't think trying to do it with more than one person would work well; well, we've actually broken up because of my lack of time and ability to commit to much.

Like I said; I know it can work for some people, I'm just not one of those people :shrug:
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
I almost feel like having a third would free up more time.

For example, I just got home from work. My kids want attention, I need to go buy milk and my wife wants me to play video games with her. I just want to be alone for a while (not something I usually want but it's been a long week already). Second wife would really be handy here because there's basically not enough me to go around.

I'm fully aware that this may not work in practice anything like it did in the above paragraph. I suppose that's why I'm so curious about it, it's such an unknown to me.
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:iconworldwar-tori:
WorldWar-Tori Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013   General Artist
I've lived that scenario... I don't know how much a second wife would be helpful 'cause
a. kids want the attention from you.
b. wife 1 wants attention from you.
c. I guess she could go get the milk?

From what I understand it's kind of like an open marriage, but they have more than sex, they have relationships.

person A is dating person B and C. While person B and C aren't necessarily dating person B is with person D and A while C is with A and E and A can find F somewhere.
(I don't know how far these things usually go :O)
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Wait, so you were in a polygamous marriage?

See, I would want it more like a group marriage than myself having two wives that don't really care about each other.
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:iconworldwar-tori:
WorldWar-Tori Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013   General Artist
No; I wasn't.

That makes sense too, I can see how that'd be easier and better over all for everyone.
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:iconcivyx:
Civyx Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
I used to have friends who were in a male-female-male marriage.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Two dudes? You don't hear about that one as often. What was their culture? Was it a religious thing?
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:iconcivyx:
Civyx Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
they were white, American. I think bisexual
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Makes sense.
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:iconcivyx:
Civyx Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
they were also wiccans and ran a karaoke business
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:iconx666nightmare666x:
x666NiGhTmArE666x Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
There's nothing wrong with polygamy, but I certainly wouldn't like to be in one. ^^
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Are we talking more than one wife/husband or multiple partners in general?
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Uhmm... I was thinking one 1 man, 2 or more women but if you have any experience with other set ups, do tell. Anything besides open marriages, though. I seen those before.
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I don't have any experience myself with it but I've thought about it and I wouldn't mind trying it. I know some guys who had multiple girlfriends at once but kept it a secret from them. That didn't end well. The way I see it polygamy takes three very confident people to make it work otherwise there's going to be too much jealousy going on.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
That's about where I am. My wife and I have brought other girls around for the night and it worked out well so who knows?

Not like I'll ever get to try it, there aren't exactly girls lining up to be anyone's wife #2.
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:iconartificialphantom:
ARTificialphanTOM Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Two wives? :blahblah: x2
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Haha, you bring up a good point.
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:iconriftress:
Riftress Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I personally do not mind it, wouldn't mind being in a polygamous relationship. I had a principle who had a co-wife with her husband, she was a very smart and confident lady, different things for different people I suppose :)
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
So you're from Saudi Arabia, yes? I'm going to show my cultural ignorance here but is that something that is practiced with any frequency there?

I really would like to observe someone in this kind of relationship or maybe talk to someone about it who is polygamous themselves.
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:iconriftress:
Riftress Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not FROM here, but yeah, I've been living here a while and it's not something that's very common, but it is practiced and totally OK in the community in general. As long as the people involved all agree and are happy, everyone's cool. :)
They tend to show it to be barbaric and unfair to women or something in documentaries and such, but all the women I know (and I know a few) are all strong, intelligent women who are confident, comfortable and happy with themselves and their relationships, so yes, it's a bit of a misconception people have about polygamy and Arab culture. ^^;
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
I guess that's where my curiosity came from. I've been very happily married for 8 years, I got married when I was 19 and I guess a trail of thoughts ended with me curious what would happen if another women was introduced into the mix. The more I thought about it the more it sounded... I dunno, almost normal. Thusly, I became curious.
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:iconriftress:
Riftress Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, you'll most likely find people having a rater negative view on it, coming usually from misconceptions or from people who haven;t personally been living with it as a norm, so..
There are different norms in different places of the world and different societies, over her it is a norm,like having a few or a lot of kids, it's just a variation on marriage, really to me ^^;
Although my fiance is very monogamous and maintains a desire for a 'one-on-one' marriage, I would never mind if he wanted another wife, it'd be more fun for me too :)
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
See, that's where my wife and I are. It sounds kinda fun. My wife and I are best friends and it seems like if there were a way to add a third that would be fun.

Hypothetically. Who knows if I could really make it work.

I think I could though.
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:iconriftress:
Riftress Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's great that you and your wife are that comfortable with eachother, I wish you best of luck if you decide to try, more power to the both of you :)
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Thanks. I highly doubt we'll ever get the chance to try it out, but it certainly caught my interest.

Best of luck to you and your future romantic endeavors as well.
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(1 Reply)
:iconweludixon:
WeluDixon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013   General Artist
Dunno bout poygamy but I know some people who practice poyamory. One couple are married but they also date other people and have/had boyfriends and girlfriends. Some people I know have fuck-buddies outside their main relationship. Some of them do it because their partner doesn't share a kink or fetish they have but neither of them want to hinder the other from being fully satisfied. They all seem happy and it works for them. According to them make sure your personal relationship rules are clear, communicate a lot and be honest. Seems like fine advice for monogamous relationships too.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
True, true. I do know people who have had the "open door" marriage. They didn't stay together but then again neither does anyone else I know.
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:iconnosugarjustanger:
nosugarjustanger Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
I know of someone who is. 

Just a regular guy, with 2 wives. The first wife threatened to drink bleach if he leaves her. So he didn't. The new wife threatened to kill him if he leaves her, so he didn't. 

He's so fucking stupid and so are his wives. That's why it's so important for me to associate myself with awesome people, and not tolerate bs like this. Many people tolerate others too much. I simply drop them if they're just fucked up.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Huh. So not exactly a healthy relationship, it would seem.

Come to think of it, when I was a kid my dad had a friend who had a wife and a girlfriend living in the same house, I gets that's pretty similar to having two wives.
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:iconnosugarjustanger:
nosugarjustanger Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Yeah... it's just nuts. I don't know. I consider myself to be quite open minded, but if the wives or girlfriends aren't happy with the arrangement, then I don't know why they stick to that same man. Hell, that guy is not worth a shit. It's not like it's a happy polygamist family. :ohnoes:

By the way, that guy is my uncle, so I have no choice but to recognise him as a kin. If he's a friend, he wouldn't be a friend. :stare:
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Fair enough. But then again, I see tons of people in horrible, unhappy monogamous relationships that stay together and I don't understand why. I suppose I might not understand people thoroughly. Who knew?!
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:iconnosugarjustanger:
nosugarjustanger Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
In a nutshell, I think people who are not happy with each other, shouldn't stay together. I understand why they do, because I was in such a relationship, but in the end, I asked for a break up.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
I never did so I guess it's pretty foreign to me. I ended an engagement when I was 18 and such. I dunno, I'm good at relationships though. I'm bad at pretty much every other real-world skill (making money, making friends, etc) but relationships I can do.
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:iconnosugarjustanger:
nosugarjustanger Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
I am glad you ended the engagement when it wasn't working out. I know a lot of couples who aren't happy together, but didn't leave each other because they were together for too long to "waste" it. :roll:
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