"Live around here much? .....do you?"

''My wife has the same purse" use that one on The Broken.

"Do the carpets match the drapes?"...

Are you from Heaven? Because I've got an erection.
Nice shoes, they'd look better in my pants.
Those pants must be from space because I want in them.
Do you come here often? I do, often in my pants.

Your eyes are so blue... I can almost see tunas in them!

I've seen several joke threads and all were flamed as not a good idea in the forums. Have no idea why. Maybe deviants don't like to laugh?

Are you a pie-maker? Because you made my banana cream.

"Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!"

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

loooll xD

Bad Thanksgiving jokes:

Q: What do you call a sad cranberry?
A: A blueberry

Q: Why did the turkey sit on the axe?
A: To "hatchet"

And here's some (good) band jokes for those of you who are in band:

Q: How many flute players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but they'll spend several thousand dollars on a solid silver one

Q: How many percussionists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they have a machine to do that now.

Q: What's the difference between a percussionist and a drum machine?
A: With the drum machine, you only have to punch in the information once.

Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a tuba glue!

Q: How can you tell that a trombonist's kid is on the playground?
A: They can't swing, and they always complain about the slide.

Q: What's the difference between a good trumpet player and a good French horn player?
A: The trumpet player thinks he's a gift from God, but the French horn player knows it.

"Is your father a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!"
"Somebody call the cops because it's got to be illegal to look this good."

Actually, any pick-up line is seriously the worst.

The worst "joke" I've heard had to be one made up by my brother when he was like, five or some stupid shit.

"What do you get when an elephant sits on the roof of your house? A smashed idiot! "

My brother's an idiot.

Pick-Up line: "Smell ya later"

Seriously, this pick-up line just doesn't make any sense. -_-

*Slaps rear.*
"Hey handsome, I haven't seen you around here."

Not said to a chick, not said by a gay guy. High school was weird for me, especially my freshman year.

That joke that compares a dick to a key and a vagina to a lock. That's literally the worst and you are a bad person if you believe it

1) Knock, knock.
2) Who's there?
1) Banana. Knock, knock.
2) Who's there?
1) Banana. Knock, knock.
2) Who's there?
1) Banana. Knock, Knock.
2) *annoyed* Who's there?
1) Orange.
2) * relieved* Orange who?
1) "Orange" you glad I didn't say "banana"?
2) *walks away, annoyed*

I really hate this joke. -_-

Joke:
Two tomatoes started to cross the road. One of them was hit by a car and the other tomato said:
-C'mon ketchup let's go.

Pick-up line:
Why hello there biscuit why are you standing here while crumbling?
A guy said that to my sister when she was out XD

Do dead baby jokes count as bad jokes? Because those are really the only jokes I remember.