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December 24, 2012
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Worst jokes/pick up lines

:iconmystory557:
Mystory557 Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Anyone have any bad jokes to share? I've been hearing a lot lately so I was just wondering what are some lame ones you have heard?

Some of mine are along the lines of..

'Jokes'

What does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked.
Can February March? No but April May..
Why did the skeleton go to the restaurant? To get spare ribs.

Pick up lines.
Hey baby I got my ion you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
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Devious Comments

:iconcixie:
cixie Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
What had 40 teeth and can hold the incredible hulk , my zipper .
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:iconskyhndx:
skyhndx Dec 26, 2012
"Live around here much? .....do you?"
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:icon13datura31:
13datura31 Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
''My wife has the same purse" use that one on The Broken.
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:iconworldwar-tori:
WorldWar-Tori Dec 25, 2012   General Artist
"Do the carpets match the drapes?"... :|
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:iconvanhir:
Vanhir Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Are you from Heaven? Because I've got an erection.
Nice shoes, they'd look better in my pants.
Those pants must be from space because I want in them.
Do you come here often? I do, often in my pants.
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:iconpringlesaddict99:
pringlesaddict99 Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your eyes are so blue... I can almost see tunas in them!
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:iconlisareyofhope:
LisaReyOfHope Dec 25, 2012
I've seen several joke threads and all were flamed as not a good idea in the forums. Have no idea why. Maybe deviants don't like to laugh?
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:iconvelvetfish:
VelvetFish Dec 25, 2012  Student Filmographer
Are you a pie-maker? Because you made my banana cream.
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:iconmaltese101:
maltese101 Dec 24, 2012  Student General Artist
"Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!"

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

:lmao: loooll xD
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:icongigapipen1407:
GigaPipen1407 Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Bad Thanksgiving jokes:

Q: What do you call a sad cranberry?
A: A blueberry

Q: Why did the turkey sit on the axe?
A: To "hatchet"

And here's some (good) band jokes for those of you who are in band:

Q: How many flute players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but they'll spend several thousand dollars on a solid silver one

Q: How many percussionists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they have a machine to do that now.

Q: What's the difference between a percussionist and a drum machine?
A: With the drum machine, you only have to punch in the information once.

Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a tuba glue!

Q: How can you tell that a trombonist's kid is on the playground?
A: They can't swing, and they always complain about the slide.

Q: What's the difference between a good trumpet player and a good French horn player?
A: The trumpet player thinks he's a gift from God, but the French horn player knows it.
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