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December 22, 2012
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Replies: 139

Butchering the ukelele

:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
While I consider myself a mild man, I am like every other man in that I have limits.

And listening to the 90th run of "Johnny be good" played badly on the Ukelele by my next door neighbour is so far past my limitations!


So my question to you dear deviants, is have you ever had your buttons pressed by a next door neighbour, what did they do and how did you resolve it?






I should also add in that I am not prepared to help anyone move any dead bodies.
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Devious Comments

:iconsaxeh:
saxeh Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I never answered a door .
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:iconpaintedkelpie:
PaintedKelpie Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
Retaliatory music that's gloriously annoying, when she finally puts the ukelele down. I don't know if you have a disturbing the peace curfew where you live but shutting it off at precisely that moment might drive the nail down harder.....
Try this: [link]

My neighbors are downright losers and worse. My evil eye is pretty spectacular at communicating displeasure.
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:iconcup-of-javo:
Cup-of-Javo Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Every person I've lived next to has either been a whore, an annoying weird-ass, or both on either side of me. (I live in a dormitory.)

I just have six more months and I never have to live on campus again.
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:iconleapinglela:
LeapingLela Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
At my apartment I had the landlord from hell. Outlets that would work one day, then the next not and the same with light fixtures. Heating and air conditioning that would never work when you needed it. When you put in a work order he would charge over 100 bucks on average for the repair that was "our fault" for shorting the wires our blowing the breaker which was bullshit. And then he claimed I never paid my rent, which was also bullshit because I looked at my account and saw he accepted my check.

My current neighbor right across the hall from me is an electrician. Every time his outlets didn't work he fixed them himself. And it was always the same wire. My neighbor who refused to pay a nickel to my landlord accused him of sabotaging the building and a variety of other safety violations. Nothing happened afterwards until I moved out. I then later saw a huge expose on the Seattle Weekly about the landlord and his crafty ways to over charge everyone who lived in the building.
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:iconoperia:
Operia Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My neighbour's house smells like duck shit (no actually, it does). I can smell it when I go to hang out the washing in the morning :dead:

At least she doesn't feed them at five in the morning anymore :grump:

I have yet to resolve the matter of course :|
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You could always sit out there with a gun, there's good eating on a duck.
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:iconoperia:
Operia Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's probably a better use than having the neighbour feed them :shrug:
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Damn right it is.
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:iconcomrademonaco:
comrademonaco Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
My neighbours walk their dogs in our backyard because they think it's just a random area of trees. :stare: 3 acres of land and it looks like a bloody forest. The other day I shouted "GO GET MY RIFLE!" and they never came back again. :dummy:
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I can see why, not a bluff worth calling.
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:iconplasticusforkus:
PlasticusForkus Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
I live in a field.

At uni I lived next to an abandoned house and I was convinced that it was inhabited by ultra-intelligent mice that used a laptop to order pizza delivery.
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Did you try to open up lines of communication?
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:iconplasticusforkus:
PlasticusForkus Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I didn't want to sully the miracle of rodent development with my human interference :shrug:
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
But if they cracked fusion, you could have chipped in on that! D:
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:iconplasticusforkus:
PlasticusForkus Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Bugger. You're right.

I will regret that for the rest of my life :(
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Go back there now!

It might not be too late.
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:iconplasticusforkus:
PlasticusForkus Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
But but... it's Swansea...
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Dear God I feel unclean! D:
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:icondanium:
Danium Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
I'm sure you've googlemapped where I live stalker. :stare:
So everyone mows their lawn in the summer holidays at 8 am with extra noisy hand mowers. :shakefist:
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I forget you like to sleep past 8am. :meow:
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:iconlaurart:
laurart Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
I've never had annoying neighbours. There was once this couple who would play on guitar and sing, loudly and badly, a tango song, butchering it. But that only made my brother and I giggle =P

And one of my actual neighbours sometimes has sex and when she's about to finish she TURNS UP THE VOLUME and we can all hear her. I wonder if she realizes this...
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lols, you should go and say something, that will shut her up.


Also did you get my card yet, I found a really rude one? :aww:
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:iconlaurart:
laurart Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
No way! I would never ruin her fun :lol:


No :/
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Damn postal service...
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:icondanium:
Danium Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Tell her short people have excellent hearing. :nod:
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:iconlaurart:
laurart Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I don't want her to know this midget can hear her D:
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:iconredmarlin:
redmarlin Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Well, our neighbors tried to sabotage our new driveway by digging underneath it and running a garden hose under it to make it look like rain damage. Good thing we had security cameras installed.
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Did it go to court?
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:iconredmarlin:
redmarlin Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Yes, and the case was thrown out because our lawyer fucked up.
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wonderful!

I'm assuming you don't live near them now.
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:iconredmarlin:
redmarlin Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Eh, so-so. The house was a vacation home my step-dad had, so we never really lived there to begin with. Hence the security cameras, for while we were gone.
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:iconastralseed:
Astralseed Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Professional General Artist
Well, you know all too well my frustrations with my previous neighbors.. Before things became insanely ridiculous with them though.. when they were merely trying to tell me how to parent my children and denying us heat while it was below freezing outside.. I went downstairs and got in their face demanding they knock it off etc.. it seemed to have resolved things for a short while, I think they were afraid of me or something since the bitch kept repeating over and over to me that she was not afraid of me (even though I never said or did anything to imply she needed to be aside from get in her space and use a stern voice while doing so).  
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It sounded like a royal pain but at least you got shot of them.
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:iconastralseed:
Astralseed Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Professional General Artist
No kidding!
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:iconkoutathecreator:
KoutaTheCreator Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
My neighbor was bigger than everyone else on the block, and tried to bully people. He tried that on me years back and I kicked his ass. He stopped messing with people shortly after.
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:iconleapinglela:
LeapingLela Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sounds like the plot to the movie Friday.
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:iconkoutathecreator:
KoutaTheCreator Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
:lmao: It does now that you mention it.
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sounds bizarre, never understood why some people try to use size as a means to assert authority.
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:iconkoutathecreator:
KoutaTheCreator Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
:lol: Yeah. It worked for him too, until he messed with me. He was like 4 times my size and I just punched him up then smacked him with a giant tree branch. He tried to try me again later by using his size against me. I smacked him with a giant bored with rusty nails in it.

All that was revenge for him smacking me with a brick first. :nod:
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:icongradientking:
GradientKing Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
My neighbour gave my whole family food poisoning with bad meatloaf, so we made them some meatloaf... needless to say we dont trade food anymore
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That sucks the big one, personally I never eat anything that's still moving. :B
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:icongradientking:
GradientKing Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
If I had only known that sooner... However I must thank you for this important life lesson. :/
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:iconstieger:
Stieger Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
NOTHING :paranoid:
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That is quite a bold statement to make.
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:iconksxzt:
KSXZT Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
My neighbour broke into my house once, and I smacked her with a length of wood. She was charged with burglary, and me for ABH with intent to endanger life. Once I got out of the police station I got a few friends together and went and ransacked her house.

Never heard anything back from her again.
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Dare I ask what started this whole thing?
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:iconksxzt:
KSXZT Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
She wanted my supply of heroin, apparently. :innocent:
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Shut up Meg
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:iconthe-build:
The-Build Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Over done reference from an un-funny show, by an individual who frequently uses over used un-funny references.

who'd have thought it? :confused:
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
SHUT UP MEG
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