How do you get personal?


nosugarjustanger's avatar
Recently, my friend got here and I had to play the tour guide and long story short - I just can't stand his body odor. Even worse, is when that B.O is mixed with a case of having too much of cologne on. :bleh:

He wanted to hang out again - and after putting up with him and this problem for a whole day out of friendly obligation, I decided that I didn't want to. But I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I decided not to return any calls or pick up any calls at all. Yeah, I suppose that was pretty cruel, but how else would I deal with this sticky situation?

I think I am not the only one who has trouble telling the truth especially when it is a personal matter. I can't be objective about this. If a person stinks, then that's what it is. How would anyone coat it? Gifting him a box of deodorants? :unimpressed:

So I'm just curious to know, how the hell do you get personal? Especially when it's regarding an embarrassing matter?

:slow:
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MisterTurtle's avatar
I suck it up and try to put it as gently as it can be without being too soft on the matter.
nosugarjustanger's avatar
Easier said than done. How would do all that? How do you go gently without being soft?

Doing it isn't as simple as thinking you can :lol:
MisterTurtle's avatar
I can show you how to go gentle without being soft. :horny:
MisterTurtle's avatar
You knew that was coming.
nosugarjustanger's avatar
I knew it all along. :dead:
ForeverTeaTime's avatar
You could somehow manipulate things so that it appears the topic comes up casually, and then after having had the opportunity to test the ground for a bit and having it found safe enough, you could go for something like 'yeah actually about that, and I find it hard to tell you this, but I am not exactly keen on the way you smell either'.
Course when the ground isn't safe you have to bug out and come up with something else... or lose touch if you really can't seem to think of anything else and can't handle it anymore. :(
The latter is quite cruel, and it is really a last resort, and it shouldn't be something you should be happy about doing: but lord knows, I think a lot of people have bugged out when a friendship became too awkward. :/
nosugarjustanger's avatar
Yeah, I think a lot of friendships have been hurt by honesty just as much as lies. :( Some people can't handle it well. It's something that I hate doing... but meh, I chose to lose touch with him because I can't tolerate smelly people... it grosses me out. So that's the story, at the end of it.
ali1411's avatar
d0nt ignore him....tlak to him normaly and tell him the nicist way
nosugarjustanger's avatar
And if he gets mad?
ElectricHorse's avatar
It's not your fault that he has B.O... if he gets angry then he gets angry. Rather tell him and let him be angry than leave him with his issues and have him embarrassed by other people too.
nosugarjustanger's avatar
You have a point there. :)
MisterKhact's avatar
nosugarjustanger's avatar
skullwarrior13's avatar
Just tell him straight to his face, no emotion; complete apathy.
nosugarjustanger's avatar
Or I could just simply ignore him.
TokenRabbit's avatar
Bad body odours can be one hell of a minefield. Either the person didn't realise it and all's fair, or they're painfully aware of the fact... :paranoid:

Then again, if they are painfully aware of it they should be making some effort to try and smell nice!
nosugarjustanger's avatar
Sometimes, they just can't help it. Due to genetics and bad luck, I suppose. So I would rather not be involved in hurting someone's feelings, if it's something they really can't fix. :crying:
TokenRabbit's avatar
Guess some people do have that problem... though personally I can't recall really encountering any. At least not in that way!
nosugarjustanger's avatar
Well clearly you've never had that unfortunate experience. :dead: It sucks for them. Google it up and you'll know :innocent:
TokenRabbit's avatar
Googled and found out about trimethylaminuria. Does not sound nice. :saddummy:
nosugarjustanger's avatar
Aww, that's so sad. :hmm: Some people must have that.
TokenRabbit's avatar
I feel kinda bad for them now!
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LisaReyOfHope's avatar
Don't you think it would be better to tell the truth than to have him think he did something wrong or that you just didn't like him? Some people are like smokers and garlic eaters are oblivious to their own smell or bad breath. You may have been doing him a favor to tell him so he could take corrective action. .