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November 24, 2012
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Online interaction

:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been on DeviantART for 7 years, I've come and gone from time to time but managed to maintain a few 'online friendships' on here and on other more social networking sites. Though since the start of the year, I've noticed my 'IRL' and 'URL' friends all becomming much more involved in their own lives. I've watched the people I've known for the last few years slowly break away from me and now I'm staring down another Friday night shattered after work, no-one available to talk too or go see.

Now I find myself looking to find some new people to interact with on here and elsewhere but I keep coming up against a wall. My own awkwardness. I can meet and greet people easily in person, though online I find it much harder. I've struggled to meet many my own age (around 24 years old) with the same interests and keep a good conversation. It feels like I've been walking into that wall for a while now.

What do you, the good and the bad of this forum do when you greet someone for the first time online and how do you keep the conversations and interactions going if the feeling is good?

You can reply as serious or silly as you like, I'm just curious and bored :)
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Devious Comments

:iconsilnaur:
Silnaur Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have a really bad habit of only being active on da /sometimes/... so I'll start a conversation, but after a few replies I'll end up not replying again for a week or two and then I feel awkward for trying to continue the discussion so I stop >.>
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, isn't that the idea of the internet? Doesn't it allow people to communicate in almost any fashion. I personally don't mind it when people don't reply for long periods of time, people do lead lives outside of the internet and that does take precedence over the 'URL World'. Feeling awkward for leaving a reply for only a week on a website isn't that bad.
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:iconsilnaur:
Silnaur Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha, when you put it like that it does seem pretty silly. ^^; But I guess it's partly because everyone has a life outside the URL World that I figure if I leave it too long to reply then they won't remember what the conversation was about.

And I've met people online who think you should reply more frequently... so I guess it just depends.
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:iconhungryartistsunited:
hungryartistsunited Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013
Pixel art-vertising: [link]
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:iconkey-master-himeko:
Key-Master-Himeko Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013   Traditional Artist
I live under a rock. Highly awkward, but I genuinely care and want to get better at talking to people. Hoping that buzzing around the forums will help that a bit...
As far as your issue comes up I've had the same thing with friends met in MMOs. Life, another guild comes up or what have you and suddenly all that's left is a fond memory and a contact on your list that isn't much more. I have no idea how to remedy this, I'm always more pre-occupied with making sure that they're happy wherever they go...This pretty much always leaves me alone in one way or another.

*Not trying to be emo, I'm perfectly happy where I am now. Just sayin'
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You sound like a very thoughtful individual, for to shy away the way you do but to strive to become better at communicating at others is understandable. The issue you brought up through the life of an MMO player watching life and other distractions take those away from you, but not to think in a depressive state but with one of hope they are happy as they are is admirable. I wish I was more kind like that sometimes.

I don't think it is 'emo' at all, infact it just shows a deeper, more mature way at looking at life then to simply shrug it off or dismiss those who move onto other things with disregard. It sounds like your not truly alone, you've kept the memories with you.
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:iconkey-master-himeko:
Key-Master-Himeko Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013   Traditional Artist
It takes a bit of perspective to get that way, but what also helps is knowing that I've got a small slice of heaven in my everyday life. Even if I didn't know my friends for too long I always hope that when they leave me that their happiness isn't to far behind...It does get lonely sometimes, though xD
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It does indeed get lonely from time to time, but having that slice of heaven as you so put it. That helps keeps the blues away right? Having that piece all to yourself so to speak. Everyone finds their own happiness eventually, life allows us to experience the highs and the lows to fully appreciate those moments and those people we hold dear.

It's how we perceive it that makes the difference in the end right? I could say you're pretty darn lucky in that respect.
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:iconkey-master-himeko:
Key-Master-Himeko Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013   Traditional Artist
Pretty much. My slice of heaven as I put it is an awesome family and knowing that my life could be a lot worse. :3
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That is truly a slice of heaven, life indeed could be worse. But when it gets to it's worst point, it's there you can only look up and move once again towards such dreams.
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:iconkey-master-himeko:
Key-Master-Himeko Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013   Traditional Artist
Pretty much<3
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:iconjade-abarai-kat:
Jade-Abarai-Kat Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
i have been online buddies with this one girl for probaly 9 years now ( i was 11 and she was 32), we talk about anything and everything. I think we actully met on the jonas brothers forum on their fansite. She is so cool and awesome!
We usally communicate through facebook now
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:iconforeverteatime:
ForeverTeaTime Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
There's one person I've kept contact with online over the years on several different sites and I guess I'll have some chats with her from time to time some place or the other...
Aside from that, I like to talk to people online, but I don't have much of an interest in keeping up a friendship as well I suppose I am not THAT social a person and I don't really get very emotionally attached to people easily. My friendships are mostly based on opportunity: I tend to look for friends in my direct environment and keep up friendships with them because I see them often, but in the past it's always turned out that as soon as I don't get much direct contact that is automatically generated (going to the same school for example) no more, the friendship fades.
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:iconfunferno:
Funferno Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It usually just developed itself here. Meeting people in forums, online games, or just through watching them on here, then talking more and more with each other until a friendship develops yup. I never like went to someones profile and was like HEY WE HAVE SIMILAR INTERESTS BE MY ONLINE FRIEND YO.

Personally I find much more people with similar interests online than offline. Heck even my girlfriend used to be just an online friend.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds like you have made some pretty good bonds over time. I have to say, I've never done the whole "ERMAHGERD WE SHARE INTERESTS. FRIENDS PLOX?" thing on here, it makes no sense to me as I'd rather talk to the person and get a sense of who they are and what they are like then what bloody movies they watch that I watch.

You're not the only one there, I have absolutely nearly nothing in common with most of my IRL friends in my hometown other then we all live in the same county and have 'alternative' interests.
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:iconfunferno:
Funferno Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Indeed I have! Which is also rather sad because I have these people who I talk to nearly every day, but I can't do real life stuff with them because they live too far away. Sucks because I really like them and we have a lot in common.

And exactly! I also have RL friends, but most of them have COMPLETELY different interests than me. And meeting them mostly only means getting drunk so I very rarely want to meet them in my free time. :B
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:icongourmetprince:
GourmetPrince Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
What's a "friend"?
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It is something of a sentient being, it comes in varying shapes and sizes as well. It's behavior alters day to day with the changing variables from challenges in life such as working a toaster, crossing the road, putting pants on etc
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:icongourmetprince:
GourmetPrince Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, I wear pants sometimes. I gotta get me one of them
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:iconcliffto:
Cliffto Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student General Artist
I meet some good people here :D and screw ages, it doesn't matter at all.
I was making friend with 44 years old woman when i was 13 years old :>
she was so nice, age is just numbers, maturity is from inside.

feel free to talk with me if you want!
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:iconjaguaro:
Jaguaro Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I sympathize with the awkwardness, though I have the opposite problem. I am more awkward online.

Jag
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh? Well that is an interesting problem, though I know a few people who are actually incredibly awkward online.
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:iconjaguaro:
Jaguaro Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm getting better at it.

Jag
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:iconwitchhazelgz:
WitchHazelgz Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Professional
Please, help them.

[link]
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:iconbonnieknox:
BonnieKnox Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Internet friendships can be harder to make than real life ones. It is the internet. Is easy to misunderstand things. Also, I noticed that tendency some seasoned forumers have to ignore the new ones or the ones that are not regulars. Maybe is not on purpose and is nothing wrong about it, considering that this site sometimes works like a big high school. The veterans stick together. More than the forums, I use the groups and I talk with my watchers and the people I watch or notes go back and forth.

Sometimes an individual is nice in real life, but a disagreement in the site with somebody makes him or her look like a douche. I have a few online friends, but well, I am more successful in the real world (popular, to be exact). I was away from DA for like 5 years, not even uploading work, just checking my account once on a while. The forums can be funny or a battlefield, depending where you go or who you interact with, but is kind of addictive to lurk around.
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:iconyangyexin:
Yangyexin Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012   Digital Artist
I either post my interests so it saves some time on what a person may/may not have in common with me, and then see where our random conversations go from there.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That sounds like an interesting idea, almost like advertising yourself to see if anyone who likes what they see and takes it up?
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:iconyangyexin:
Yangyexin Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012   Digital Artist
Yeah, art interest prostitution lol.
Plus, I've noticed that the way someone types also determines their personality for me.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha well that is the name of the game is it not? ;D
Yeah I have to agree that even if I agree with someone in how they present themselves, shared interests etc. If the way they type irks me then I just tend to ignore them.
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:iconyangyexin:
Yangyexin Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012   Digital Artist
Indeeeeeeeed~
Hahaaaaa same here. I mean, some of my friends "type like this with no capitalizationdfkjshdfs" but I'm used to it lol.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha well I've got friends that can barely spell or just get lazy and use 'txt spk'. Which always confused me since there is simply no need for it.
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:iconyangyexin:
Yangyexin Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012   Digital Artist
Ehheeheee I don't like that.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank goodness~ C:
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:iconkalistina:
kalistina Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Digital Artist
A few of my friends were first met IRL, but I usually meet people I'm interested in on the Internet. I don't hate IRL meetings, but IRL meetings have this pesky little handicap that the pool of available people to talk to is much smaller and doesn't change much from day to day, so if you don't get along your colleagues today you probably won't tomorrow unless you change something about your workplace.

That's one of the reasons why I'd like to be a freelance artist.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmm yes that can be a bit of a problem with IRL meetings, URL meetings can have a large group of people all conversing at once whilst in IRL it is indeed much smaller. Plus with URL methods of communication you can talk to people and have conversations you wouldn't normally have with your own IRL friends. Uh huh, nothing really changes where I am other then things closing down. The community is small and everyone pretty much knows one another.

I'd love to just leave and start up my own business. However I doubt that will happen for some time.
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:iconkalistina:
kalistina Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Digital Artist
*nods*

I think the Internet also is an advantage because one person can address a hundred people and get hundreds of answers. That's impossible IRL due to time and attention constraints.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:nod:

Agreed, also the internet can only hurt your ego. I just came back from Kenpo with my right hand looking a heck of lot more swollen then my left and I can't move my fingers. Though yes IRL I find myself not enjoying multiple people talking to me, though via Skype chats etc I don't mind at all.
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:iconkalistina:
kalistina Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Digital Artist
*nods again*

Luckily I don't live in too dangerous an area, so the worst I get is verbal strife (and let's just say most of the time people drop the strife quickly enough - I can get pretty dangerous in these).
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hm, sadly it's not as nice as it once was around here. Crime has shot up a lot recently and the recent influx of some rather 'scummy' types hasn't helped. So after a few run-ins and barely managing to escape without much of a scratch, I've felt the need to get better acquainted with fighting and how to deal with it. Good thing the lessons always include a "before you have to use these techniques, try more socialable approaches" tutorial to learn how to deal with such characters.

Interestingly enough the only person who gave me grief was an old lady for not placing her newspaper "the right way" into her shopping bag for her. I nearly burst out laughing she was being so petty~
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:iconkalistina:
kalistina Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Yeah, martial training is a good way to raise one's assurance (I didn't mention it at first because it's been part of my life for a rather long time).

If you know your training allows you to get out of most mildly dangerous situations relatively safe and you know the best way to win a battle is not to have it, you have a decent advantage.

... Wow, that old lady anecdote is really funny.
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:iconangelsinspiration:
AngelsInspiration Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012   General Artist
I've never really kept that many online friends, didn't even have high speed until about 6 months ago so I used to be and kind of still am not online for long periods of time. Can't really help you mate, sorry :P
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:iconunknownsingularity:
UnknownSingularity Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
ok, I think this is mainly a problem men face :nod:

I have the impression that women are always being pursue in one way or another. Even from an evolutionary point of view, women are better communicators :nod:
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:iconangelsinspiration:
AngelsInspiration Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012   General Artist
:shrug: if you say so.
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:iconunknownsingularity:
UnknownSingularity Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:ohnoes: but what is your experience? :eyes:
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:iconwolfos96:
wolfos96 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Making friends isn't all that hard for me, but I still have yet to make one on here.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It can be difficult for some people to make 'friends' online in a place like this. It involves finding common ground to start conversations on and developing them from there. Though sometimes you just have to keep looking. Just give it time.
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:iconcirprius:
Cirprius Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I try to just act like myself. On DA I haven't been able to make a lot of friends though, I think that may just be the nature of an art website though. xD It's much easier for me to make friends in online video games, and I'm terrible at making friends IRL.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I do exactly the same, though this tends to show that I can be either really serious and deeply emotion to incredibly immature. I wouldn't know about that, there are many artists, styles and of course, personalities. I find DevART much more 'open' and 'chatty' then some other sites I've seen. I suck at making friends on most Online Video games but making friends IRL depends on the crowd I'm with at the time.
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:iconcirprius:
Cirprius Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah unfortunately, I can appear both ways also. Sometimes I'm the person that everyone loves, other times I'm the one who can annoy lol. Oh gosh, if that's the case of meeting people on DA I hope I'm not missing something. When you put it that way, it sounds like it would be easy on here. As for online games, it normally starts as a "deal" of sorts based on how/what you play and goes from there. IRL . . . it does depend on the crowd, but a lot of times I'm happy observing and never end up talking.
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:iconteddypotts:
Teddypotts Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It means that you are simply being who you are, you cannot please everyone and you shouldn't try too either. Best to stay the way you are. I doubt it, it depends on where you spend your time on DA, if you want to meet more people and such. Best bet is to dive into DAmn aka the chatrooms, it's always got plenty of people to talk too. Oh so you are more the type to sit back and observe the madness unfold?
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