I am not Roma myself, but I’ve been fascinated by this culture since childhood. However, where I live (Midwestern U.S.A.) there isn’t exactly a lot of diversity. I know there are plenty of sources online and at the local library if I want to learn about other cultures, but I like to hear about them from the people themselves. I’ve heard some pretty wild misconceptions about my own culture (I’m Jewish), and so I assume I’m harboring some ignorance myself.

I guess what I’m asking for is some Romany people to tell me what things I have gotten wrong about your culture, or misunderstood. And, I guess, just your personal opinion on being Romany.

So here’s what I THINK I know about the Roma (based on what I read online, in National Geographic, etc.):
• Most Roma people are not nomadic, and many in past centuries were not nomadic either.
• Some people find the term “Gypsy” offensive, and others do not.
• Traditionally, the Roma have strict rules regarding what is considered “clean.” Clothes worn from the waist down are washed separately from clothes worn form the waist up, for example. Certain animals are considered “unclean” and cannot be kept as pets (including cats , since they lick themselves).
• Roma people traditionally marry young, and the man is the head of the household.
• There are different groups/subcultures within the Roma community, with different traditions or rules.
• There is no one religion for all of the Roma. They tend to follow the main religion of the country they live in. But, one source I read said that if they’re Christian, they’ll often pray through the Virgin Mary, because before becoming Christian, they followed an Indian religion that involved praying to a main god through that god’s female companion. (I don’t recall what website I read this at.)

Here’s what I’d LIKE to know:
• How seriously do most Romany people take the traditional rules? For a comparison, the Jewish religion/culture has rules about which foods are “kosher,” but many practicing Jews don’t keep kosher at all. So, are there a lot of Romany people who are fairly involved in their culture, but who don’t follow all those rules of cleanliness, for example? Or who think it’s okay for the wife to have as much authority as the husband?
• Do a lot of people you know find the term “Gypsy” offensive, or do you just think of it as another neutral ethnic term, like “Black,” or “Jewish”?
• How do you feel about the way Romany people are portrayed in the media, especially fiction? Obviously if they’re portrayed as thieves or villains, that’s offensive. But I’m talking about Romani heroes in fiction, like Disney’s Esmeralda, Simza from “Sherlock Holmes,” Anna Valerious from “Van Helsing,” etc. I mean, do these movies still get a lot wrong about your culture, or do they do a pretty okay job at it? Are there any Romany characters you thought were particularly well written? This question is important to me because I’m interested in someday becoming a novelist, and I like diverse casts of characters, but want to portray different cultures accurately and respectfully.

Ttldr: Ignorant cracker American girl is curious about Romany culture, but wants to hear about it from Romany people themselves. Thanks for any informed input.