Here's my problem:

My best friend and roomate (Brian) is seeing a total bitch (Sherri)who I cannot stand. To make matters worse, they have been talking about getting hitched. Actually, the marriage is more her idea. He is so p-whipped by this bitch that he refuses to take a stand for himself.

How can I get this bitch to go away? I have one idea, but it breaks an untold number of laws and social mores. Help me please!!

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I do believe I am one you should watch
Open your eyes and gaze upon my crotch

Not even the mighty Niagara Falls
Compares to the magnificence of my balls