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December 13, 2012
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‘Build a Death Star’ petition clears threshold for Obama response

:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
I think it would be awesome if the White House addressed the Death Star petition before the cowards and traitors who want to leave the Union.

A Death Star would eliminate unemployment in the United States.


By Olivier Knox

It is a period of civil war. Rebel pranksters, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the forces of Taking White House Petitions Too Seriously. Specifically: They have secured the 25,000 signatures necessary to get a formal response from the White House to their call for America to build a DEATH STAR.

"Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016," the petition reads.

"By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense."

Some estimates put the cost of doing so at around $852 quadrillion, roughly 13,000 times the gross domestic product of the entire Earth—even when factoring in the savings of not putting any guardrails around any of the facility's seemingly endless number of bridges, spans, shafts and pits. And history cautions against being too proud of the technological terror thus constructed, because the ability to destroy a planet, or even a whole system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Crossing the 25,000-signature threshold—right before the Dec. 14 deadline—doesn't actually guarantee a response. The White House has made clear that it will pick and choose which petitions will get an answer. We may have to rely on the Bothans.


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Devious Comments

:iconcenaris:
Cenaris Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
That was awesome
The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Other planets clearly have oil.
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
hahahahaha!

Yeah probably:P
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:iconmiletich2:
miletich2 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. Good one, man. I bet that would bend the unstable government to the president's will. :sarcasticclap:
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
Indeed.
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:iconmgonzales041090:
mgonzales041090 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
[link]

The White House responds to it. XD
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
I know ^_^
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:iconjeysie:
Jeysie Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That is quite possibly the most awesome thing ever.
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:iconmgonzales041090:
mgonzales041090 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I died reading it. Good stuff.
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:iconjeysie:
Jeysie Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I liked the "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"
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:iconmgonzales041090:
mgonzales041090 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
If TSA would update their terror watch-list, no radical rebel Jedi extremists would be able to board an X-Wing! Problem solved.
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:iconjeysie:
Jeysie Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:XD:
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:iconheaven-spawn:
heaven-spawn Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
THIS IS FUCKIN AWESOME
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:iconthegman0:
theGman0 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist
non-stop.
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:iconheaven-spawn:
heaven-spawn Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I seriously hope they do this death star thing.
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:iconhopeira9:
hopeira9 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
I LOVE IT!
I say we start in 2015, government ok's and financing or not.
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
Start building the ladder
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:iconhopeira9:
hopeira9 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
:iconcsidash2plz: I'm gunna need a lotta scrap wood, and a few dozen $20's to get the inspector looking the other way
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Inspectors are evil
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:iconhopeira9:
hopeira9 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
They're not all evil, some of 'em are just ignorant
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:iconheaven-spawn:
heaven-spawn Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
dude i love that show
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:iconhopeira9:
hopeira9 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
Aw yeah, high five for refferencing shows i have no idea what i'm refferencing :highfive:
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:iconangelxxuan:
angelxxuan Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Student General Artist
we've had a death star project for quite some time now, it's been hushed up though, and it was designed to take care of any meteors or asteroids but I suppose it could be used for other purposes, probably won't be the last time they use something else not for what it was intended for, this is the USA after all.
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
There is no death star plan and there never will be.
There are, and never have, been plans for a moon-sized weapons platform.
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:iconredfoxbennaton:
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
How about we build rapture.
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:iconheaven-spawn:
heaven-spawn Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
you can build rapture?
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:iconredfoxbennaton:
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
[link] These guys can.
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
Can we afford both?
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:iconredfoxbennaton:
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
No. Does the world have the resources?
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012
No:bucktooth:
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:iconredfoxbennaton:
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Exactly
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:iconherbaldrink:
HerbalDrink Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012
What this really shows is that you can post anything on that site and that those petitions are a joke.
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
Is it really a joke or have the people made it that way with their petitions?
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:iconherbaldrink:
HerbalDrink Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
People made it their way with the amount of obvious troll petitions.
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:iconsherberttcat:
SherbertTCat Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Chad will be so happy to hear about this!
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
Nice!
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:icondefense2:
defense2 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
I know how to reduce the cost of the death star.

step 1. heat a large asteroid to the point of becoming liquid.

step 2. insert ice comet and expand the liquified asteroid to about 33% of its original size. (ballooning it)

Step 3. deploy mirrors to reflect the suns rays. (need several million mirrors.)

Step 4. use mirrors to carve out the interior of sections of the Death Star and install a focusing lens to fire said solar laser into one beam.

Step 5. Point Death Star at the Earth and fire.
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
Sounds complicated
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:icondefense2:
defense2 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012
It's the construction of a death star... Of course it is going to be complicated.

:-)
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
:iconohuplz:
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:iconskulkey:
skulkey Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
your plan is fraught with technical errors...

1. how are you going to heat an asteroid to liquid in the middle of space? it's damn cold out there...
2. even if you could, inserting a frozen comet into a liquid asteroid would create an explosion of epic proportions, destroying your death star and anything in proximity.
3. mirrors don't grow on trees, man. and coordinating all those things? clusterfuck...
4. what?
5. ...
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:icondelusionalhamster:
delusionalHamster Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Space being cold is not an issue. Space, being a vacuum, is a great insulator; that is, when you heat an object, it accumulates heat very fast because the heat can only escape as radiation and not by convection or conduction.
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:iconskulkey:
skulkey Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
interesting... you'd still require a massive heat source to get it molten, though. and my point about explosion still stands. ;)
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:icondefense2:
defense2 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
1) constant heat builds over time. Focusing the sun can make it x times hotter.
2) the rate if expansion can be controlled by the size of the ice.
3) no, the mirrors will have to be built... Job security. (improving the economy)
4) you will need to control the laser, the solar laser. A focusing crystal is the ideal tool to use for this. Also you will need internal compartments for this laser. (read the live free or die series of books by John ringo. It's his idea)

5) well what other use does a death star have?
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:icondebit:
Debit Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Resort to typical sci-fi plot devices: Replicators and fabricators which only require a very dense source of power. :D

As for wiping out the Earth, I might prefer launching the Genesis Device (as seen from Star Trek II and III movies) aimed at Earth. It would be much more wicked.
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:iconragerancher:
Ragerancher Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
Personally I think the best way to go would be mass death by snu-snu
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:icondebit:
Debit Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hmmm ....... drain the males dry as means of inflicting mass death! :eyepopping:
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:iconhooded-wanderer:
hooded-wanderer Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Student General Artist
Who here is willing to bet that this will be built out of slave labour so that nobody has to pay the $852 quadrillion price tag XD
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
The materials alone probably cost 700 quadrillion, you're talking about a neo-planet sized weapons system that took the Emperor from the end of Episode 3 to the beginning of Episode 4 to complete.
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:iconjeysie:
Jeysie Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If DARPA isn't already trying to design and build a Death Star, I'll be surprised.
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
I'm sure they're working on space platforms.
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