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December 9, 2012
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Replies: 34

The Meanus advice thread

:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
I am starting this thread due to the overwhelming demand for my advice. Try to stick to politics when you ask my advice...I will try to help everyone though...even with sexual problems where I am also an expert(but I personally dont' have sexual problems naturally)

You ask me for advice, and I will give it to you or consult some leading expert for the answer you need. OK, lets do this
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Devious Comments

:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
We do not allow help kiosk threads in the forums.

FAQ #801: Are there any rules for the Forums?

:lock:
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:iconcenaris:
Cenaris Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Now I have a question regarding taking a hot bath. How do I minimise the risk of dry skin after drying off?
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
change your soap, some of the better soaps will not dry your skin, also don't make your bath water so hot and eat more vegatables
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:iconscnal:
Scnal Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have an eating disorder that makes me neither horribly obese nor horribly anorexic. I'm always the odd one out, everyone else is one or the other but I'm not. meanus please help
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
move to Somalia, you will become anorexic without even trying
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:iconscnal:
Scnal Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
but I'm also a hipster
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I want to change my username, but I can't think of anything. Help? :innocent:
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
how about dark and depressing
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:iconscnal:
Scnal Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
meanus2
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
pfft. I am not worthy.
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
you can overcome most of your faults through hard work, regular church attendance, and AA
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:iconscnal:
Scnal Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If you work hard then maybe.
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
now I need to go take a break...however, I will return soon. So many people needing help, I am going to be there for you.
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:iconcrimsonmagpie:
CrimsonMagpie Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
I don't want to pay any taxes, because taxes are a dirty communist pigdog thing, but I still want free healthcare. How do I do this?
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
change your named to Jose Juan Jose..that should do it...and good luck. Also register as a democrat (critical for freeloading off taxpayers)
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:iconcrimsonmagpie:
CrimsonMagpie Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
But I don't want to be a democrat because then I'd have to start getting a weekly abortion. I want to stay a Republican so I can eat live babies and rape little boys! :noes:
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
I suggest a nice hobby...like collecting old dishes or teddy bears
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:iconthegman0:
theGman0 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist
dafuq?
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
speech therapy can do wonders nowadays...get the help you need immediately, some democrat will pay for it if you vote right
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:iconthegman0:
theGman0 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist
what speech? You dumbass. I'm not speaking, I'm typing.
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
Im not sure there is any good advice I can give you for crippling arthiritis
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
you could try soaking your hands in chicken sperm...hope that helps
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:iconrockstar1009:
rockstar1009 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am a wealthy conservative who wants to move my company overseas to save money. However, I don't want to have to pay wages to the brown people I'm employing because I don't want no brown people to buy anything and I certainly don't want no brown people to afford to be able to reproduce and make more brown people in the world. How do I make the most amount of money possible while ensuring I keep the Good Guys™ (white Christian men) in power?
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
I like this question...first you donate big bucks to the Obama campaign. Once you have done that you will be awarded a multi billion dollar government contract. Then sit back and watch the money roll in and since brown people are mostly unemployed under the present administration...you win all the way around dude!!!!!!
And remember, Obama only bombs fuck out of brown people...hope this advice helped
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:iconskulkey:
skulkey Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
:popcorn:
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
Im guessing you have a drinking problem? Think about what you are doing to your family...
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:iconskulkey:
skulkey Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
i quit drinking to excess some time ago. too expensive in this economy.

unless you count coffee - then i still drink to excess. but that's still acceptable these days, no? and cheap. sometimes free, even. coffee must be socialist...

hmmmm, socialist coffee! :drool:
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
sorry for the previous advice...instead seek a mental health counselor ASAO\P
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:iconskulkey:
skulkey Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
i did - they said my socialist coffee was perfectly legit. :stare:
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
hmmmmm, who exactly are these mysterious "they" people you are referring to?
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:iconskulkey:
skulkey Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
the illuminati. :bucktooth:
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:iconfelissauria:
Felissauria Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Aaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
sorry, I dont' quite get your question...is that some kind of code? Don't be shy, you aren't the only one out there with sexual problems you know...
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:iconmeanus:
meanus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
Dear MOds, please don't lock this...lots of people out there seriously need help and I am willing to take time out of my busy day and give it to them....you should respect that
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