Your merkabah is already active or you wouldn't be alive right now. From my understanding it is based on certain sacred geometries that are found in nature. The human merkabah forms shortly after conception in the zygote stage of fetus development. The Fertilized egg is one cell which divides into two cells and then four cells and then with eight cells it becomes a zygote. The zygote cells will align themselves according sacred geometry in the flower of life. One cell in the middle and the seven remaining will cluster around the center cell. This forms a tiny spiky ball that becomes a your merkabah. In 2D it looks like the star of David Hexagram but in 3D it is a geometrical shape that is life itself. Failure of the cells to form the merkabah shape will result in the zygote dying and miscarriage.
Yeah? When I was a child, I too had faith. I believed in God because I was told so and did not think to question it. Then, around the time I was 11, I had learned enough about science to realize that there really was no reason to believe in that religious stuff. Like you, I didn't want to accept it, either. But you see, about when I was 11 is when I discovered the anime series Yu Yu Hakusho, and I thought, "If there is no God, that must mean there is no spirit world, either. How boring!" It was that thought that shocked me into atheism: I realized that I was trying to decide what was true or not based solely on the desirability of the idea, rather than its supporting evidence. Now an atheist, I fully subscribe to the latter and eschew the former.
anime has much more to offer then that. the japanese have such amazing beliefs on what happens when we die and what happens in the spirit world. i don't not believe in science i believe in both. and until the world sees that you have to go with science from the left brain logical side and go with spiritualism with the right brianed creative side it will be then understood.