She is selfish egoistical moron for: -Falling in love with an inmate (relationships between staff and inmates are forbidden) -Putting not only herself but also her daughter near an ex-killer who lacks self control
Well, it's not smart to be in a relationship with a murderer, because the sort of person who commits one murder is likely to do it again, on purpose or by accident. He/she probably has mental issues of some kind.
That said, every case is different, and I have no problem with the basic concept of someone falling in love with a murderer.
Depends on what you mean by society. On this forum, or in real life?
IN REAL LIFE: No, it is not okay for them to judge her at all. It is her choice, and hers only. If they can't get over that fact, then they must forgive their loved ones easily, showing that they are not very good friends/relations/whatever.
ON THIS FORUM: Well, the word "judge" is kind of a harsh word. Think of it as an opinion. You posted this forum, and all forums get haters. It's natural, trust me.
Can't the warden find anyone on the outside instead? She must be very ugly if she goes with one of the lags. Prisoner/guard relationships should be banned and any officer caught should be sacked on the spot.
Depends how they killed the person. One blow, one shot or one stab then that's a tragedy. But they could have called it manslaughter. If they stabbed, shot or hit the person loads of times then you can NEVER TRUST THEM ever again as they lose control.
I think it is stupid for her to date someone that has committed murder if he can't controlling himself and keep himself from killing his lover the first round. What is to stop him from doing a second round, by the way has he said he was being foolish idiot for killing his first lover ? I will meant this story is good for fiction but bad for reality.
That's nice and all if someone wants to fuck/date/marry someone who murdered their last lover, but I sure as hell wouldn't. It would be one thing if you said he murdered an abusive spouse or otherwise in self-defense, but it takes a special kind of person to be able to kill, I don't care how "passionate" the argument is, and I want nothing to do with someone who would ever resort so casually to murder, I mean just what the fuck. I'm kind of surprised this is a discussion. Of course they're allowed to date again and most of them do, but the people who write love letters to murderers are a zany bunch all on their own.
For me I also consider my family. Even if I had a crush on a murderer, my mother would die if I brought him home and it would be something we would fight over for the rest of her days. If this was something like my mother freaking out over him being black or not being a doctor, her opinion would be irrelevant. But I can't put my mother through such genuine stress as dating a murderer, one who murders his partner no less.
If you put it like that, it's rather nice of you. To place the happiness of others before your own. But what if by doing so you truly destroy your own happiness and causes you to be depressed - missing him non-stop?
In the case I posted in my op, it's like that. Her mother however after a while supports her daughter's choice seeing how heartbroken and miserable she is without him.
But I guess it's something that you can't really do alone - you need some sort of background for it, it needs to be accepted at least in some way.
Oh, I didn't realize this was based on a real story.
This is true, but I really don't think I would ever personally be able to give a murderer of passion or whatever, a second chance. I'd probably agree with my mother on this one, and while not the same as murder we just went through my sister dating a drug dealer five years older than her with a son who nearly killed some kids with an extremely dangerous mix of drugs... I just can't care about "love" in these situations, and much like my mother I'd have to say suck it the fuck up if they're heartbroken.
But that's, of course, for my family. When it comes to strangers/acquaintances I will express my concern but I sure as hell will not control their lives.
It's a Dutch documentary/series "achter gesloten deuren"(Behind closed doors) It's about people with socially awkward situations (pregnancy from an other man, weird relations, secretly gay,...) and those people finally have the guts to start talking about it.
And confronting their surroundings with it.
There was one where the Person A slept with his wife's best friend(The wife of Person B). And it turns out, his best friend(person B) was sleeping with person A's wife. However Person A's wife's best friend is Person B's wife. So they were actually cheating witch each others wife
So the wife from person A ends up choosing for person B, while both person A and the wife of person B wanted to keep their marriage and relationship.
I'm not so sure, the whole point about crimes of passion is that the murderers standard morality was overridden by rage. Their opinion of the murder in a situation where they can think logically has no bearing on whether or not they will do it again when they pass that same point. I think the only murderers people don't fear being around are those who did it for vengeance of family or friends. People aren't usually afraid of the person who killed someone that abused their children because unless they fit the same circumstances it won't happen to them. I think the classic movie of a father hunting down his daughters abuser also helps this vigilante image. If a girl killed her last husband in a fit of rage I'm still not going with her, all the parameters I need to fit are being her partner and triggering her anger.
The premiss is a huge failure, since you picked a domestic abuser - domestic abusers are repeat offenders, and it is highly likely that he'll hurt another women. Staying away from him is sound, not because he ended up comitting murder, but because he's a domestic abuser. End of.
Let's just say, he ended up killing his girlfriend under extreme circumstances that pushed him as far as to kill her. Yet he feels extreme guilt and remorse for his actions and is willing to do what it takes to atone.
Would you find it right from society to shun him completely? Not give him a second chance at all? What about the woman that loves him, despite knowing his history?
Society shouldn't shun him, but I'd never date him. He could have removed himself from the bad situation. As long as it is murder, and not an accident, he had a choice, and he chose murder. Not the guy for me.
If a woman loves him, she should still be thinking about her own safety (if he was that dumb once, he could be again), nd the safety of those around her (will she drag a child into this, for instance).
I'd never fall for a man like that. Intelligence attracts me.
Indeed, the woman in question was his prison warden, and had a daughter - it was the daughter who told her mom to get back together with the murderer, cause she saw how heartbroken they both were. She believes her mother's happiness and both his are equally important, despite his past.
I must admit, I wouldn't fully trust him, but as time passes so would the distrust dissipate eventually. Though I'd always keep an eye out for possible signs.
He could be very intelligent, but provoked into something as this.
Being provoked, as the murder conviction proves, is no excuse.
But yeah, depending on details, I bet I'd be forgiving over time too. But still, I don't think I'd ever fall in love like that. It's like with married men, sure I can be attracted, but I put them in my mental No-Touch box, and there they stay.
The case of the warden, she knew at first hand what he had done. But decided to have a romance nonetheless, that she then stopped due to society(mother and best friend), to then after months restart under influence of her daughter.
I guess it depends from person to person really, and the circumstances under which it happened have an awful lot to do with it.