Life is cruel for sure, but in your situation, at least it gave you a chance to learn what you did to the fellow student. Being pushed around, banned from community and being constantly insulted in the childhood make people believe they're really ugly, stupid and should feel bad. You gave him a great chance for him to end up like you're ended up now.
You would have more friends if you've worked on it instead of trying to hide your lack of social skills with ashaming others...
Just think about it, your in high school and your still a teen growing up. You just learn alot now its never good to be mean to people. But what can you do? Forgive them. If you hold a grudge for a long time it hurts alot more then feeling sorry for yourself.
And hey, Ive gotten my fair share of bullying throughout my younger years. All I could think of is boys are super dumb, and tried my best to think they were ok. They would put on this big smile on their faces, and when ever I retaliated, all it did was it made them laugh more. But it was soo hard. They were acting like boys that never understands a girls feelings. The most embarassing story was in high school that a guy broke an expensive pencil, ($5). I was crying through class, and I couldn't tell my teacher. Then my teacher tried to ask me something and he kind of joke about it. He didn't realize I was crying and the whole class laughed. That was really embarassing.
You would think that was the end of the story, well I don't rember, other then getting paid back for the pencil $5. But emotional scarrs can't truely heal, only relieve.
But one amazing thing is in high school, a guy who bullied me throughout high school, forgave me. I mean, that is the more powerful thing then complaining don't you think. Complaining get you no where, but forgiving and talking to the person that hate you or you hate, that is some courage dude.
Take it from Frank Peritti's example. It took him 40 years to really buck up and figure out how to treat his wounds for bullying. He writes about his experience in the wounded spirit. And he has a whole seminar how bullying on the other end affect others: [link]
But look at him, he is still working as a best selling author.
Sure this on the other end, but the result is the same. You take a bad risk when you treat someone horribly. You never know one day what will happen the next.
I've been thinking about why you used the title 'Life is Cruel' To me it shows that you still have not learnt your lesson. Stop thinking of yourself and look around at all the other 'cruelty' in life. Most of it can be prevented. Be now, one of those who can make a difference.
I beleive in this saying called "What comes around goes around."
Long story short, everything in life balances itself out. You are a prime example. Yin and Yang, good and bad. You can bet that any time you hurt someone, it'll come back and bite you in the ass.
I dislike your usage of "Life is cruel". Yeah? Did you expect that it'd be happiness, sunshine, and sex all around? The sooner you get adjusted to the fact that life sucks, people suck, karma's a bitch, the sooner you'll be able to go out and survive in the world.
first of all, sorry if I say this, but you earn that . Now you feels how it is like when you are bullied.
second, as Buddha said, life is "dukkha", which can be translated as unhappiness/unsatisfactoriness/suffering. There will always be unhappiness/unsatisfactoriness/suffering in our lives. but there is a way to be free from suffering, that's what Buddha teaches.
I was on the other side of the story. I was the girl that was being bullied, and my life at school has been made to a living hell by people like you. Luckily I was motivated as hell, and worked my ass off in university. A few months ago I met one of the kids that used to bully me in high school. It has been 10 years since then. She had a lousy job as a waiter in a cheap restaurant, while I studied and eventually made it to a good office job. The look in her eyes while she had to take orders from the company I worked for was priceless. And I couldn't think anything other than: karma finally did a good job!
Think about it? The one you used to bully? Did they deserve what they got? They probably weren't even in a position that karma could backfire on them.
But it's not like this is the end of your life already. You can still change things. It's never too late for that. You just learned about how your past behavior made people as miserable as you are now. Take this as a valuable lesson and change your behavior from here on. It'll make you a better person in the end.
So basically, life is cruel because of social reciprocation? Because of elementary cause-and-effect? Nonsense. Your isolation was the result of your own actions, and you will have no sympathy from me. "Life" didn't do this to you. Take responsibility for your personal failings and take action. Learn to be decent to people and make some friends, because if you don't, you have no one to blame for your isolation than yourself.
life cannot be cruel, because to be cruel it would have to be sentient. A more accurate statement would be that people are cruel (yes, you included, me as well, and everyone else, we all have our moments) and circumstances are unfair.
Also, you had it coming, sorry, but you did. Now just try to be a better person. And, misuse of "ironic"
If you're talking about serious bullying, no. The worst I had was a kid who'd always call me gay on the bus in high school. I've never bullied anyone, unless you count little jabs at people here and there bullying
Since you've been so honest about your history, there are those who might say that you got your comeuppance; that what happened to you was not irony but karma, and that you have perhaps learned a valuable lesson from it.
All teenagers should really think about volunteering in soup kitchens and with the elderly. Then they will see that there is more to life than satisfying their own selfish wants. It can be a real eye opener and life affirming. Try it someday and become a real man or woman.
I don't believe it's bad luck at all. It was a poor choices.
He said it himself that his looks were passable to be friends with the preps, which means they were only his friends bc he was one of the beautiful people, not bc of the content of his character.
The OP was cruel to at least one person, and befriended a group of people who would ultimately be cruel to him. He chose those friends, probably bc he saw something of himself in them, and gravitated towards them.
When analyzing what life is and isn't, don't use yourself as an example. (I'm pretty sure) There's been over 10 billion humans and, to your point, most of their lives were faaaaar worse than yours.
But yes, life is extremely harsh. Evolution is cruel. Somebody said cruel denotes intentions - well, natural selection is, to the extent a concept can be, cruel. Life is the avoidance of the death of your species. The important thing to take from that is that things that make you happy and content with your life - social acceptance, success, comfort, etc - are the key to living and living well. If you are happy you can live longer and are less likely to get disease. Nature does fuck over the weak and unfortunate, but it also allows the successful to thrive and get a lot of enjoyment out of their lives.
I was a sweet, little thing that was teached to treat others the way I wanted to be treated, but nobody told me that the playground was full of psychos. I learned the hard way. I was by then, the runt of the class, somebody who had to be fast enough to avoid the bullies. I did not get my ass kicked so often because I was too damn fast. There were easier, slower victims around
Then I grew up and snapped when I discovered I was strong enough to hold my ground with both girls and boys.
In high school I fitted the stereotype of a leather jacketed thug with an string of fistfights on her back and scars from fights gone wild; by then I was perceived as a crazy fighter because I would hit somebody with the first thing I got on my hand (I threw a chair to somebody once and sent her for stitches) and choke rivals until somebody pulled me out.
My reduced circle of friends were funny boy nerds mostly. The preppy,classy girls maintained the distance from my while talking shit on my back..., well.
There was a rumor that I carried a knife around and I allowed that rumor to spread because it helped with my bad girl persona.
Life didn't do anything, it was yourself and your bullies. Life's not a being and you can't attribute it human qualities.
Blaming life is way easier than accepting it was your fault then getting over it. It's the denial's way. Bad things never happen to someone who doesn't need them, to someone who hasn't accumulated negative karma over his existence.
Honestly, I was a bitch in High School. I was angry, spiteful, and sure everyone was talking about me behind their backs, which caused me to be less than likable (on top of that I was dealing with a lot of stuff at home - depression, anxiety, etc.) My paranoid attitude is what caused people to start teasing and tormenting me. I still resent them some, but it's been 7 years for me now. The only thing that matters is what you learn from that experience and how you use it to improve yourself.
You're young, and you're basing your generalization about life on your own limited experiences, which may be an accurate perception of the situation (hard to say) but may not define all experiences. Not to mention that the cruelty and suffering you've dealt with is pretty mild compared to what others have suffered. You did, however, learn a valuable lesson about the divide between want we want and think will make us happy and what we actually get.
I think you just have a high opinion of yourself. Try coming down to the Earth for a bit, instead of being in those self-pitying spheres. Confront your problems. I was bullied as well in elementary school, but my reason was fear, fear of people, contacts. So, I beat the fear and now some of these "tormentors" are my best friends.
But I still find myself thinking inappropriate thoughts about people I dunno for no reason at all. Must be some sort of leftover from those times.