The idea of abstinence prior to marriage made perfect sense before effective birth control. Getting pregnant (or getting someone else pregnant) without a stable relationship was highly irresponsible and dangerous - socially, financially, and most of all for the child. These days it's easy to avoid pregnancy so there isn't really a need to avoid sex before marriage.
Yay. I don't think this natural assumption that sex and morality/love should be tied in together. Sex is recreation, and while it can be spiritual, like a lot of things, I don't think it should necessarily be assumed so. So long as suitable birth control is used, however. This said, I don't believe marriage is a useful institution. Or at least, I wouldn't be putting my egg in that basket. I am moved to agree with Kahlil Gibran:
"Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cups, but drink not from one cup. Give each other your bread, but eat not from the same loaf."
Reason: Sexual Comparability, Make sure the key fits. If not you won't be unlocking any new doors. The reason why a lot of relationships struggle after the commitment is because behind doors the consenting adults are unhappy with their love life.
I guess it depends on the couple. If it's a man and a women, I say nay because I don't think it's right for Children to have to be born out of wedlock. Of course that's an ideal interpretation of sex and marriage, but I don't suppose it's the end of the world if a couple does have sex before getting married.
One of the responses that treats the other person as a car to test drive makes sex the goal and the person an object.
The goal is to love the other person and sex is a very specific (and exclusive) means of expressing that love that should be reserved to a commitment like marriage. Man's vocation is to love, and this can be done with sex or no sex. But when it comes to a proper relationship sex should not be a 'test' or just an outlet for the couple but the cumulative expression of their friendship, fidelity, and total self-gift.
I never understood the whole sex and marriage thing going hand in hand. Skiff you love salmon, you should mako love with them. A piece of paper doesn't mako it any moor oar less alright. Sex is about love, not marriage.
XD haha thank you! I have a program on my computer that autocorrects my typing to fish puns, and once its on I can't turn it off without turning my computer off. So fishy puns fur the serious people on this forum. Because fish puns are so fun.
personally I think the whole subject is pointless. Marriage, for me, is a ceremony to announce that the couple will now live together and share their life. If they have sex before the ceremony is completely well...
Here's the way I see it. You try out a car before you buy it. You try demos for video games. So why not do the same for the person you're planning to make a lifelong commitment to? Plus, it's always good to let each other know of each other's fetishes and whatnot. Far too many people worry their partner will leave them if they admit to something that isn't considered "normal" by mainstream media, but then get frustrated with wanting to experiment but not wanting to receive disapproval from their partner. It's better to figure out all those issues before hand imho.
It depend's... if you are amish you will wait first to get mirrage, if you are slut it is ritorical question, well I must say Yes because if u never had sex with anyone then u will dont know if the person with who you are is doing the things right and if you are not sure about that then your head will become a big mess because you will dont know what to do.
Everyone's needs are different, and every relationship is different. People place different values on their virginity and on marriage and they have a right to experience those in the way they see fit, on an individual basis.
It is very sad that we still socially pressurise people to experience the most personal parts of their lives according to standards of public approval. To the point (as deomnstrated further down in the thread) of telling blatant lies to our children about it. It is completely ridiculous behaviour in this century. Just tell them to use a condom and do what makes them happy.
When I refer to public pressure I refer both to the pressure to abtstain AND the conflicting pressure to have sex as a form of social validation. Whether or not someone chooses to wait untill marriage is a matter between them and their partner(s), and not a matter for public comment.
Personally I did, and for me (based on my needs, values, and relationship with my partner) that was the right decision.
People are trying to cite a lot of "facts" about having sex before/after marriage being more likely to break up relationships. But my personal suspicion is that making your life decisions (including how to marry and behave sexually) based on external expectations against personal choice is what will mess you up and cause your relationship to go sour.
If both people are mature enough and love is enough to not sorry later. I think it's not right when somebody runs into sex with one they don't love enough, just curious or/and want to seem grown up in front of friends. They usually feel sorry for it later, especially when the right person comes and they are not virgin anymore. It's also a problem when they don't respect each other and tell about their sex to everyone very disrespectfully.
But! When 2 people really love each other, and know & respect each other as much as they can be sure they won't be ashamed/made fun of by it later it's right to do even if you aren't married yet. I think it can be a nice memory even if you're not together with that person anymore, but none of you go b*tching around later, make revenge, but both respects the other person and the time they spent together. When you know you want that person, why would you wait anymore? With decent protection you can also make sure you're aren't getting sick or pregnant. It can make you feel happy and you relax, escape from the daily problems like work, family member's illness, friend's bad behaviour and idk what. >.>
I think that it is fine. It is something that everyone has to decide for themselves though. My husband is this only man I've been with, but we did not wait until we were legally married. I believe that marriage is more a cultural institution than anything else. If you few like you are ready than go for it. No one has any right to tell someone when they are ready, or what circumstances must be to have sex for the first time.
Sauti-AlamisiFeatured By OwnerJan 19, 2013Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I just think it's wrong. You will end up regretting it if you have sex early like this. When the baby comes, breakups are common, leaving the woman to take care of the baby early. (I kind of don't believe in divorce/break up after baby is born)
I must admit that my mother did this twice, making my older sister and brother. But she regretted it. It's just wrong.
Sure, it's not my beeswax what one man and woman do in a bed, but it's just my opinion.
1. What baby? No baby was mentioned? 2. It's ironic that you say you don't believe in sex before marriage but you use break-ups are common as part of your argument. Getting married before developing a physical relationship is like ducking out of cover in a firefight before you've got your clip loaded. Sure, sometimes it works out okay but those positive endings are few and far between.
Humans are animals and by nature we are horny and social. There is nothing wrong with premarital sex, as I see. Marriage is a concept invented by man. It's just a custom we made up thousands of years ago when women were property and were traded for like..goats and cows and money. Back when it was first made, basically, it was just a way for a man to legally own a woman..to have claim on her and sole rights to father the offspring born from her. Marriage is a lot nicer now, but abstinence is just a social expectation. Not that we follow it well..in the U.S. anyhow.
sweetlove123Featured By OwnerJan 18, 2013Hobbyist Photographer
Nope. Besides sharing some responsibilities, what will be the difference between a bf/gf relationship and marriage then? By having sex with many people, the meaning of sex will be somehow lost. Besides that, there are also many risks of having sex with more than one person, such as getting AIDS or having an unwanted pregnancy. One must also think of how the latter would affect the child's life.
sweetlove123Featured By OwnerJan 22, 2013Hobbyist Photographer
Because to me, marriage must be something bigger than just a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I believe that if there is no big diff between the two, to divorce is much more likely. Besides, if there's no big difference between the two, why bother spending time and money for a formal marriage anyway?
I don't like how people have been brainwashed into thinking there are opinions on this matter. If you do not develop a physical relationship prior to marriage then, well frankly you're just ruining the sanctity of marriage, ironically I might add.
sweetlove123Featured By OwnerJan 19, 2013Hobbyist Photographer
Well that's also an opinion right? It's your opinion. I mean, truth is relative. Let's just keep an open mind and listen to the opinions of others. If we can't agree on their perspective, then so be it. Problem solved.
From a philosophical standpoint you are correct, but not as far as reality is concerned. There's a difference between an open mind and a blank one. A physical relationship is part of a relationship. Getting married before that is rushing into marriage without knowing your partner, thus technically speaking, ruining the sanctity of marriage. Nothing opinionated about that.
Personally I believe sex before marriage is an alright thing to do. We're all animals when it comes down to it. God, the universe, or what ever you really believe is the supreme ruler didn't dictate that a dog had to put a ring on another dogs finger to hump it silly. Drone ants don't need to get married to take the used car known as the queen ant, out for a spin. So why should us humans have to get married to have sex. Now I do believe we need to have a grace period in the dating game before having sex. I'm not just saying that we should just go out and get frisky with someone we met on the streets. I feel that six months is long enough to determine if you and your partner really do genuinely love each other...or it just won't work out. After that you and your couple can do it to your hearts content for all I'd ever really care.
1) Yes 2) There are a plethora of reasons why, the first being that I think that marriage is a stupid, societal concept that humans have no need for. There's also the fact that I really disagree with forced opinions, and when you take said opinions, usually in the form of the religion, at least where I live, there's a lot less reason not to have sex outside of wedlock. I also see sex as little more than a very fun way to pass time and reduce hormonal stresses to the body, and while it can be even more enjoyable when attached to strong emotional attachments to your partner(s), being married, or even in love, really aren't necessary for the act.
Sex is an act that is very powerful, and it can completely obliterate you and those around you if not used properly. Did you know that sex itself is the most POWERFUL creative force given to mankind? It is like atomic power, and when used correctly, you get immense amounts of energy, but if used the wrong way, you'll completely destroy LIFE itself. Sex is the same thing, it is a gift from the loving creator and it serves many special purposes, such as to create a deep commitment with your partner in marriage, for procreation, for great pleasures and to remove your depressive states. It is INDEED a powerful thing...BUT, if you play around with powerful forces like this outside the sole purpose of its usage, you are BOUND to destroy you, your partner, and people who are close to you. It will destroy your life.
My answer is no.
Completely immoral act, harms society, harms yourself, and it will destroy your future, ask anyone who did it, most of the people regret it.
First thing is that it is immoral. Now if you an Atheist, you can skip this part.
>The creator of this universe designed this entire world in harmony with most intelligence. Everything that he created has a purpose, and all of these creations with purposes are designed by the laws of the creator. Some of these laws, we have discovered, some of these laws are still hidden.
Now this creator, also known as God, has created these laws to be of two types in nature. The first type are laws that are incontestably unchangeable. Like a woman can get pregnant, this is by nature, and it cannot be changed or altered unless you force it somehow.
The second type of laws are those that are meant to create an order in this society, but they CAN be disobeyed, and when disobeyed, they are considered 'immoral' acts. Some of these laws that are disobeyed, society DOES accept it at a bad thing, but SOME of these laws are actually accepted to be fine by society, as long as their are limits.
Well God says no, he didn't create a law or a rule or a code of living for nothing, to be just simply be broken and disobeyed. And he also did not give these permissions for a reason. He did not just forbid you to do something because he said so, he forbid you from these acts because he KNOWS how harmful it is, to you, and the society, and what evil will come from it.
Human beings overall are not very intelligent. One individual may be smart, but the society overall are not so much, and human error is common, no matter how welly accepted an individual such as a scientist or a researcher may be. Society usually does the immoral acts, and yet they scratch their heads wondering why so many problems exist in society. Which comes to my next point.
>Having sex outside of marriage will harm the society. How, you may say?
Let's see the two different types of forbidden intercourse. Fornication and adultery.
Fornication is when two people have sex and none of them are married, also known as pre-marital sex. Adultery is when one or both participants of the act are already legally married, but having sex with someone who is not their spouse. CRUEL!
So anyway, let us understand now.
This 'free sex' as I like to call it, has spread rapidly throughout the last couple decades, because society has changed for the worse. Now, kids as young as 13-15 want to have sex now if not younger. This is all influence, and this epidemic is spreading across the Earth, especially in western civilizations.
People in High School are peer pressured to have sex, people get made fun of if they are virgin, it is all complete influence and brainwashing tactics from the media so you get to buy their products to enhance your sexual experiences.
Now all of this sex before marriage comes from the free mixing of genders in a variety of different public places, and also some specific practices that are now allowed in some countries, dating.
Dating is a door opener for having sex. Dating allows a male and a female to spend some time somewhere 'alone' by themselves, with little to no protection from a guardian, and then what do you think might happen?
Sure, one boy and girl can resist their temptations, but like I said before, can the society overall? God knows best.
And this dating stuff occurs because of free mixing in some places where it should be a separation. We all know that places where there are a group of men and a group of women, there are going to be TENDENCIES within them, one may become attracted to another, some may get shy or embarrassed, some men may try to not act dumb in front of the girls.
But if you separate them, all of these inner emotional problems are gone, and this is already practiced, for example, in bathrooms and locker rooms. A man or a woman is NOT going to want to use the bathroom or change their clothes in front of the opposite gender.
Society is a place of people for all types, no denying that, you ARE going to have male and female interaction, God does not forbid this, but what God DOES forbid however, is for a man and a woman to be the only two in a room, alone. This isn't a game, we know exactly what could be going on in someone's head, and it is natural. Being attracted to the opposite gender is MADE by God, but this comes back to the laws I was talking about earlier. This law is of the second type, so it CAN be disobeyed, because God gave us humans free will.
He commands us to not commit acts of sex before marriage or with someone who is not married, but instead resist your temptations. Sex was only meant to be for a couple who are married, not for people who are not married, because that is truly an immoral thing. Now we know the causes of sex, it comes from practices like dating and little separation between men and women in places that need it, and also the media and schools influencing young innocent minds that sex is good if you are responsible etc, all that bs.
Let us now learn the effects of this evil practice.
>Society has a lot of problems, and these problems are all LINKED together in some way, but people are just either too DUMB, or too ignorant to realize it.
Let us simply start.
1) Unwanted pregnancies -Leads to abortion, baby DIES. --Argument over decision that was made ---Break up, violent or brutal, if gets extreme, death of man or woman can take place ----Man leaves woman, woman is alone, both probably financially unstable. -----Both regret their mistakes and live a period of depression and regret. -Or they do not abort the baby, baby LIVES. --Argument over decision that was made ---Possible break up, man doesn't want to take care of baby, woman does or vice versa ----Violence could become a factor. -----Big thing here, both are unable to support the baby, woman must leave school/work to take care of baby ------They also may leave the baby for orphanage, to be adopted by someone else, BAD! -------Both regret their mistakes and live a period of depression and regret.
Also, here are 11 facts that I found from this website: [link]
FACT 1: Premarital sex tends to break up couples. FACT 2: Many men and women do not want to marry a person who has had intercourse with someone else. FACT 3: Those who have premarital sex tend to have less happy marriages. FACT 4: Those who have premarital sex are more likely to have their marriage end in divorce. FACT 5: Persons and couples who have had premarital sex are more likely to have extramarital affairs as well. FACT 6: Having premarital sex may fool you into marrying a person who is not right for you. FACT 7: Persons and couples with premarital sex experience tend to achieve sexual satisfaction sooner after they are married. However… FACT 8: They are likely to be less satisfied overall with their sex life during marriage. FACT 9: Poor premarital sexual habits can be carried over to spoil sex in marriage. FACT 10: Guilt may push a couple into a bad marriage. FACT 11: Premarital sex robs a couple of "sexual cement."
There are more disadvantages to having sex before marrying than any pleasureful advantages you may be receiving.
To those who have made it this far. I think you now UNDERSTAND this topic, and it simply isn't a type of situation where, "two people do it in a room, what do I care." Open your minds and understand it is a very serious act, and people are doing it everyday, life is being destroyed all around us.
Whether a new born dies because of abortion, because two people couldn't get their legs shut in time, or one person with STD's runs around having sex with multiple people and thus spreading the disease, destroying the lives of those people who participated, even killing them. And also, people committing suicide, over stupid things like this.
It seems like only a few people have their minds open and the rest are all brainwashed and worship their TVs and what the society tells you.
God's understanding of humans and life > Society's understanding of humans and life
I shed a tear. I'm not even joking. Like, normally I'd make up some sarcastic joke or something but I'm being real with you. I actually shed multiple fucking tears reading your post. There simply are no words, you are just a lost soul and even though I'm not religious at all, I swear to the god I don't believe in that I will get down on my knees and pray for you tonight. Do not laugh, I am dead serious. This is honestly the dumbest thing I have read in my entire life. I mean that, honest to god I really do mean that. There is not a single thing that I have encountered, internet or otherwise, that is more ignorant and incorrect than what I just read.
You have been brainwashed. Nothing you said was true at all. There is no scientific evidence to back up what you just said. Most of what you said was brainwashing from ignorant Christians, what little of your post that doesn't fall under the former falls under either misunderstanding the nature of statistics or just blatant lies used by the ignorant to brainwash their children. The truth has prevailed, it's called reality. The falsehood is vanishing, that's why religion has been seceding in the last few decades, you can look that up. All of these ignorant beliefs that you just wrote of have significantly fallen in numbers. Like you said, the truth will prevail.
1) I have not been brainwashed, there is a clear difference from people who have been brainwashed versus people who have witnessed the truth.
2) There are MANY scientific researches to support what I have said, you can search them on Google or you can start reading some books. They have created articles explaining everything in detail, the books are better. But why would you bother? You will result in your brainwashing blame tactics again.
3) I ain't a Christian, I am a Muslim, and my ideology is not my own, it is supported by billions.
4) You can continue to deny truth, you never even mentioned what was false in what I wrote, everything is true. Religion has not been seceding, it has been rising, thousands are believing every day, millions are believing every year.
The reason you may think religion is seceding is because 100 years ago, there were only 1 billion people living on Earth, now we are at 7 billion. All the Atheists are not larger in number compared with religious families, and Christian families haven't been doing a good job at teaching about their own religion, so these Christian families have become Atheist families.
This is not the case however with Muslim families, it will be Islam that will repopulate this world and bring the true concept of God to this world, as well as the TRUTH he has sent down.
You clearly cannot accept a practice of life that harms the society.
It seems like Muslims and Christians are the only ones who have their eyes open, the rest have their eyes shut and are locked inside a cave, yet they THINK they truly know what is going on.
Don't talk about immorality when you are practicing it right at this very moment.
Truth will indeed prevail, but I will laugh at all those who think that they are on the side of the truth.
Without proof, there is no real truth, and yet again, you showed no absolutely no proof.
1. I think you and your supporters are brainwashed, you think me and my supporters are brainwashed. This argument won't get any better from now on.
2. This is ignorance on your part. You won't research something because people say it is incorrect? Then that means Christoper Columbus shouldn't have gone off to search for what was beyond the Atlantic Ocean, because all the people in Europe said that there was nothing and they also taught the Earth was flat.
There are many examples in history where people like YOU are saying things are incorrect, but a little research will enlighten y'all to what is really true. The problem is your ignorance is stopping you from attempting to acknowledge what even OUR side of the argument is.
Secondly, Evolution is not false.
3. Apparently it is. I have to remember I am arguing with an ignorant here.
4. Keep denying the truth, God will judge you for how you've behaved on this world, not me.
1. I know you and your supporters are brainwashed, calling what you're doing thinking is laughable.
2. Everyone mentions the Earth being flat as if it's evidence. Newsflash, Einstein, there was no evidence that the Earth was flat, you just shot your argument in the foot. Thinking the Earth is flat is like religion, not science. It's belief in something without proof. This argument specifically is like STILL thinking the Earth is flat. Believing in something despite mountains of evidence proving otherwise.
I know it is not false, and everything you said about sex before marriage is false as well.
3. Ignorance is defined as a lack of knowledge. You are clearly the one who is lacking in knowledge here. Your post more than proved that to everyone.
4. Your god does not exist, therefore he will not judge me according to your ironically sick and twisted beliefs.