We had to do a "faith journey" paper in "Faith Religion and Society" in college because I was stupid and didn't do research for undergrad schools and went to one I thought wasn't religious but lo and behold I have to learn about religion. Grant the FRS class went over ALL the religions, and there were teachers there that didn't really have a distinct "religion" and the theology we had to take could be say, Sages Saints and Mystics which covers a lot of religions as well (and we could have taken say, eastern religion with a chinese lady) so I shouldn't say anything about it being primarily one religion but I sure could have done without having taken those classes and have both been just as well off and 3000 dollars richer.
needless to say I am an atheist. But why I mention the faith journey paper is that not until this year did I realize I was just bullshitting myself that I actually believed anything even if was purely agnostic. It was THAT paper that made me realize this.
Not to mention that I've always loved science (wish I didn't suck at math so much so I could have majored in that instead). I just wish I was more true to myself in years past when asked questions like this, so I could have definitively told them "atheist" and then procede to lose many many friends and be happy with the ones that stayed and not miffed at a great number of them because I have to tread lightly when I'm talking to them about certain issues namely abortion and especially whether or not there is a god.
it's like being the one kid when you're small that knows santa isn't real. I actually was that kid, it was funny because my sister was 13 and I was 8 or 9 (which is about around the time I started doubting God existed as well) my sister is a devote christian so I don't know what that says about kids that dont believe in Santa other than that you shouldn't bullshit your kids into believing anything at a young age that isn't anything but the truth because it teaches them not to question and not to be curious and I think that because those are two things that are not just innately human but essential to life (cats are curious) I think it's just wrong to stomp out that compulsion.
I used to be a Catholic, but ever since I was thirteen, I began to leave the Christian faith behind.
One of the main catalysts for this was when a friend of mine at the time took me to a hell house, which is basically the Christian version of a haunted house that is used to convert people by depicting what would happen to them if they did not convert (cue people being tortured in Hell). Her church was a Protestant church that was biased against Catholics (not all are), and I later figured out that her youth group minister wasn't too keen on the fact that I was Catholic. Needless to say, I felt pretty hurt.
The other catalyst was that in the same time frame, I was getting ready for Confirmation, and the teacher for my class explained to us that our only purpose in life was to get to Heaven, and live forever. That didn't sit well with me. Granted, I'd heard the same thing year after year, but at the age I was, I realized that believing that sort of thing basically made life pointless, and a joke (to me, at least).
As of right now, I'm somewhere between spiritual and atheist, and I'm content to remain that way. I'm worried about earthly matters, as opposed to what will happen to me after I die. Would it be nice to see the deceased people I have cared about the most just one more time? Sure, but I won't let that consume my life. There are more important issues to worry over.
The long answer - Eclectic, vampiric, non wiccan witch gone shaman.
The short answer - Shaman.
I gradually moved away from Christianity to paganism over a period of years. Don't get me wrong - Jesus is cool and all that. I just have a different opinion on him now. There was no thunder in the sky moment that said I am what I am. I just slowly slid into my faith. I don't choose to worship. The spirits direct me to do the things I do and teach me about the unseen world that makes up the afterlife. It's not a path for everyone, being filled with high moments and facing intense pain of both the emotional and physical kind. They say shamans are born and not made. I definitely agree with that after my research into what makes a shaman a shaman. After calling myself a pagan for 17 years, a friend pointed it out to me that I share more in common with medicine men than I do wicca, LOL!