Humans are by nature in WANT of something to worship. Humans by nature WANT to thank someone for providing whatever they desire, they have a tendency to turn to God and talk with him, like a friend, to solve all of their problems, and most importantly, to be in total peace and harmony within their hearts. The humans realize that to truly find the true peace within your heart that you are craving for, it is through God, and ONLY through God.
The humans who deny this, are those Atheists. The humans that can't be sure, these are your agnostics.
Breaking away from God is something that only you control, and not God, because God gives humans the choice whether they want to accept him or not, but in the end, the consequences have been made clear.
God loves all of his creation, and we humans are part of his creation.
God does not like it when we transgress among the creations, when we create disorder in the land, and turn peace into conflict.
So this is why God created a system of rules to follow, so that the peace and justice of the world will remain, and this system is called religion, but it should be called more than just a religion. It should be called a way of life, a code, a law, a moral, the one and only destination, the road, the pathway, the trail.
Why would we deny the creator who had created all form of life that we see? And he has maintained this life and controlled it for us creatures, us humans. But what do we do? We destroy all of his pillars, we destroy all that he has done for us, and we shun him down, like he never existed. But God doesn't share the same emotional feelings like humans do.
God understands each and every individual, more than the individual themselves. God knows the past, present, and all doors of the future of them. If you decide to close your door to him, God will not open it back up, God says that that is your job. The Lord of the Worlds does not force anyone to believe in him.
The only way to communicate, and receive heavenly signs from God is to remain consistent and prayer, and remain in prayer consistently, every day of your life, every year of your life. If you are not praying, then remember God, throughout your travels and your adventures. When you remember God, God remembers you.
And as always, forget about all the temporary worldly desires and enjoyments of this world that other people go crazy for. And think of the hereafter, the paradise that God has created for only the pure souls. If you remain a true human, like God has created you as you were a newborn, you will indeed enter the paradise, along with your relatives, and your relatives that you've never met before, both in the past, and in the future.
Surely, life in this world is not the only life we get. Every single one of us here will taste death one day, and we all will be brought up forth before God Almighty.
We will meet people we thought we've never meet before. All of our dreams and goals will be accomplished in the heavens. Every wish we desired, will be granted manifolds by God himself. The best reward out of all the glories of paradise, is being in the presence of God himself.
God's light is so beautiful, glorious, elegant, extravagant, praiseworthy, that if even a handful of God's light was to enter into this entire universe, this universe would destroy itself because it is incomparable to that light of God.
And all the good human beings, all the good souls who are in paradise, will constantly be turning their faces to have another look at their Lord, the most high, who sits himself on the throne, and creates life, once more, all over again. And that is indeed, the best of rewards. And it is all true.
I suspect there are others who would understand, but these sorts of boards aren't exactly the sort of place where many people would consider showing vulnerability. It beacons the vultures, if you know what I mean.
You are very strong. I was raised non-religious, and it is a much different experience than having a religion and losing it. I used to have some freeform deist beliefs, and even losing those resulted in a year-long state of loss for me, so I can't really imagine what you went through. Again, very strong.
I was raised non-religious in the first place, but a while ago I saw this series by a man who went from being deeply Christian to becoming atheist and it was pretty fascinating. Maybe you can relate: [link]
Well congratulations. You're one of the few people who actually kind of thought about what they believe rather than just decided on something and sticking with it, not actually really considering that they might be wrong.