How am I supposed to feel?
My mom's boyfriend of 3 years died of cancer today.
We were never best friends but I got along fine with him and my mom is pretty sad.
The thing is I really don't feel anything except confusion, and for some reason when my mom told me I had to surpress a smile. I wasn't happy or joyfull.. just shocked to be honest but I really felt this weird grin to start creeping on my face.
What the hell?
We were never best friends but I got along fine with him and my mom is pretty sad.
The thing is I really don't feel anything except confusion, and for some reason when my mom told me I had to surpress a smile. I wasn't happy or joyfull.. just shocked to be honest but I really felt this weird grin to start creeping on my face.
What the hell?
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This type of things has happened to me. My uncle died a few years back, and I felt nothing, absolutely nothing and I felt sad about that. I felt bad I was a stone cold rock, a rock who can't cry at a video of a cat tying to revive her/his friend. But I did read that it's okay to not feel sadness for a person you weren't close to. My friends are crying over Glenn, and I feel absolutely nothing.
Just like some people have mentioned, react the way you feel...
I lost someone very close in my family when I was 8. I remember being told and I started to cry, but only because I thought that was meant to be my reaction. If I'd let my feelings do the job, I'd probably have just blinked and gone back to sleep (it was 11pm) and that's all right. No matter what anyone else thinks. The last thing you need, right now, is to listen to anyone who judges you.
Don't let society fuck you up at a moment like this, take it easy and feel what you must.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I lost someone very close in my family when I was 8. I remember being told and I started to cry, but only because I thought that was meant to be my reaction. If I'd let my feelings do the job, I'd probably have just blinked and gone back to sleep (it was 11pm) and that's all right. No matter what anyone else thinks. The last thing you need, right now, is to listen to anyone who judges you.
Don't let society fuck you up at a moment like this, take it easy and feel what you must.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thanks for the advice and the kind words, I appreciate it!
No problem. 
Everyone processes deaths completely differently. You will find that each death may feel completely different to other deaths.
No one can tell you how to feel and what you feel is how you feel. None of us can tell you how you are meant to feel because we don't know how you truly felt towards this guy, how your relationship was, and so on.
No one can tell you how to feel and what you feel is how you feel. None of us can tell you how you are meant to feel because we don't know how you truly felt towards this guy, how your relationship was, and so on.
You're supposed to feel whatever you're feeling. People react to situations in a wide and weird variety of ways, and it can be especially weird because society expects people to feel or react in a certain way. So anyone feeling something different (and that's a LOT of people) tends to feel weird or guilty or confused, because you think you should be doing or feeling something and your brain's off doing something else.
Anyway it's nothing to worry about. Although you should probably keep suppressing any smiles to avoid hurting your mom's feelings.
Anyway it's nothing to worry about. Although you should probably keep suppressing any smiles to avoid hurting your mom's feelings.
Allright thanks dude! That's probably some great advice
I did the same thing at my grandfather's funeral recently. Honest to god I'm sad that he's gone, and i miss him terribly, but during the calling hours and funeral, i just kept smiling. And i felt kinda guilty becuase I felt like it was an inappropriate thingto do. But afterwards i just realized that i was under a lot of stress that day, and I remember in school recently someone had said that when the body and mind is under a lot of stress, it goes into a kind of flight or fight mode, but instead of running or fighting, the mind tells the body to either smile or cry. And since there was a lot of people standing around, there was just an overload of stress coming from every which way, so i really had no clue how to act and very little internal control of my own emotions.
So sorry
So sorry
That might actually be a great explanation, I'll have to look that up!
idk really I would be confused my damn self
I'm glad to hear I'm not strange
you are not
I'm so sorry to hear that happen ;; my friend went through something similar, and was just in shock and dissociating for a solid week. The breakdown happened eight days after the event, that's when it really hit her. It's kinda just a thing that takes time to happen and heal. I wish you the best ❤️
Thanks for the kind words!