How to meet new people?


SaneVenizen's avatar
*First, I am aware this might sound like really stupid or like a troll, but I swear I am being dead serious here. And I would appreciate any help and ideas you have. Thank you.

I am quite lonely and sad (yeah, really original. I bet you've heard it dozens of times by now :lol: ) so I was told "you should meet new poeple more often" many times. Sounds reasonable.

...BUT!

How?
I can't just just approach strangers on the street with "Hi. Do you want to be my friend?" Yes, my social skills are really that bad. I am no social butterfly; I don't like overcrowded places nor group activities, I don't like sports and my hobbies are things to be done alone mostly (drawing, woodwork, sewing... you know, home stuff). I simply don't feel comfortable with many people around. Two or three friends are just alright. That's the problem, am I right?

Another thing is that I can't imagine I would have many common interests with these social people to talk about. So... I might be looking for people who (like me) are less social and therefore would hardly be seen on such places. And now... I am lost for good!

Does any of you have any tips or ideas?

And, thanks for your time :blushes:
Comments50
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SomeStrangeMan's avatar
There are certain group activities which are more one on one than group activities.

I'm thinking lessons for things like:

fencing
karate
any form of partner dance (salsa, jive, tango, ballroom...)

Focus on the learning & practice when you don't want to be particularly social - remember that's the point of the lesson
Focus on the being social when you're more comfortable.
SaneVenizen's avatar
Sounds good. I was going on fencing lessons some time ago... I got expelled :(
I would be interested in trying it again, but I would have to figure it out somehow.
jade23marie's avatar
volunteer doing something that interests you; you will already have something in common with the people you are meeting which is a great start for forming friendships.
SaneVenizen's avatar
Hmm... I wouldn't thought about that. I will have to find out what that thing that interests me is, but it sounds good. Thank you.
eyyharleyy's avatar
try meeting someone who has the same interests as you, or same concerns as you do!!!!!! there's lot of cool people out there! just starting a simple conversation about something or a simple hello could make a great new bond!!!!!
SaneVenizen's avatar
But with whom? I don't meet many new people. And when I do I try of course.
eyyharleyy's avatar
hmm, try finding people from school, on social media, in clubs and communities, and stuff!!!!
Cublx's avatar
lel i feel the exact same way. when i changed schools this year my mom kept telling me to make friends but thats not how it works.( at least for me) its takes time an repeated exposure for me to get comfortable with people. .w. i have a few friends and we all complaint about home work. XD yup thats probably most of the contct have have with my friends is either complaining about homework, talking( they talk i listen) bout radome things, watching movies or going to to lake( in the summer). the one common thing is that we all like to draw( this is true only for my old friends) ;^; idk how to help you though.

probably just wasted your time. bye. .w.
SaneVenizen's avatar
No, not at all. Thanks for dropping by :)
I know what you mean. I know some people who can literaly make friends overnight, but I am definitely not one of them either. Basicaly all my friends are either my old classmates with whom I had to maintain some relationship otherwise we would hardly survive all those years together or it is people I met here by asking them to by friends in case of 2+ replies from them on some forums.

And, I like to draw too ^^
Cublx's avatar
0o0 i love the swings!!!!!!!!!

lel if it helps we can be friends. XD 
SaneVenizen's avatar
:omfg:
Yay! Sure! :happybounce:

And I know even better ones: Wasabimote riding sushi :spaceship: moonflower :pillowfight: 
Cublx's avatar
nvm just got the noticifation XD
Cublx's avatar
XD ( i meant that i like the swings, not necicarily the emoticon, but these are nice anyway!)
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JettoCBoeing's avatar
Join clubs, go to work/school, go to church too! 
TheMrminimario's avatar
Stuff like woodwork, sewing, drawing, etc. seem like activities you do on your own, but there are clubs and such you can join for people who like doing that stuff. That might be an option for you, because conversations just happen there.
SaneVenizen's avatar
Yes, but I am self-taught. I like to do and explore how to do it myself and improve in my own speed (rather slow). When in these art groups I feel having even less self-esteem than usualy, because it makes you inevitably compare yourself to others (which is not good) and also you here dozens of tips on what to improve without truly understanding them (I don't know the right words to describe this feeling, but you can imagine it like if somebody spoiled you a plot from a movie you haven't seen yet. I do these things simply for fun, but I have an experience that these people tend to take it... too profesionaly.
Aquardial's avatar
You sound like me several years ago, and the way my daughter is now. I had an AWFUL time trying new things, talking to people, especially in group situations. I still feel uncomfortable around a lot of people, and I'm almost 40 years old! I am also not the type of person who WANTS tons of friends; a few will do me fine. I don't HAVE a best friend unless you count my husband - which I do, I suppose *grin*. He is not a social person either! So, we have our family, and the three of us usually get along. This year I have found two younger women in my community who adore Harry Potter, and together the three of us headed up "Day at the Castle"; a day at the local college for kids to come in and experience Hogwarts. The friendships I found with those two mean more than some friendships I had previously; they don't judge me at ALL. Not for being heavy, not for making awkward jokes, and certainly not for my love of different nerdy, geeky, fan things. Sometimes it's not about how MANY people you meet, but about the quality of one or two that can make all the difference. You also don't have to have the social situations of going out if that isn't your thing; there are different Potter facebook groups that have people from all over the world - and you can chitchat and make friends! So; that would be my suggestion. Check any social media sites that you like for different fandoms that you enjoy - you never know who, like you, might just be lurking and waiting for someone to make that first move! 
SaneVenizen's avatar
I agree. I too preffer to have few true-friends instead of hundred not so close ones. However in my whole life I have met only few individuals (you could count them on one hand) and... well, I don't want to say it's not enough, but most of them I know only from here and they are overseas, so there are different time zones and also it is not as if we could go for a walk together or sit down for a cup of tea. I actualy have only one such friend I can meet and we already hang out more than is usual. Sometimes I am afraid if I am not forcing her or something.
So, I am looking for a way to meet more people so I have at least some probability of meeting another such friends (or at least half as good :) ).
sbeeart's avatar
I know what you mean, I really like the idea of going to group activities etc but when they come around I never feel like it. I'm kind of a hermit but I'm trying to branch out a little! I'm looking for a group activity that I can do regularly that suits my interests. I'm also starting with the people I already know and just making an effort to talk to them more and message them etc, just to get better at it.

I know it's hard but you don't meet new people by avoiding them :la: I notice you said you feel awkward or creepy to invite someone somewhere, but think about it like this: if a friend or acquaintance invited you somewhere, would you immediately say 'wow no you're a massive creep'? Probably not. Don't put words into other people's mouths, if you haven't asked them you won't know the answer.

Maybe challenge yourself to do some new things, even just going to a new coffee shop or hanging out in a new forum even! and do that regularly. You don't have to do it all at once, but be consistent! best of luck :hug:
SaneVenizen's avatar
First, thanks for your time :)
Second, I have no trouble inviting friends somewhere or something, I am looking to make more friends, because I don't have many. And I find it really difficult to find any "friend material" from the people I meet.

And about these new things... I already red that somewhere before and am trying it. I found a good chinese restaurant I like for example, but also sitting at the empty table makes me feel quite miserable, because it reminds me even more of the loneliness.
CommyOne's avatar
Go to Chiang Mai, you'll meet new people, live on the cheap and see amazing things. 
Pulcella's avatar
You and me both,buddy.