I can draw, but I can't draw.. what do I do?


Anicus999's avatar
I can draw, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm struggling with depression, needing to work at a job that doesn't make me happy, various addictions (hint hint), and I'm way too caught up in how well all the artists that I'm following are doing. I like every single artist that I've fav'ed or followed, but I think my fascination may be preventing me from growing as an artist myself. I have all the resources one could need; I have Sai, photoshop, a cintique, and time to draw after work, but I'm having a very hard time creating anything. If I do manage to sit down and pick up the stylus, I just end up drawing a bunch of sloppy and incomplete thoughts; there would be an eyeball here, butts and thighs somewhere else, and the same phrase or word written numerous times. I've been in a rut for years, and my question is: How do I get out of it?
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EbolaSparkleBear's avatar
Anicus999's avatar
I like what you tried to say, but I don't like how you tried to say it though. You assume that because I'm here looking for help that I don't have my priorities in check. I hate my job, and if you were 90% of the people that I speak to everyday, you'd hate my job too. I'm already well on my way to losing my job due to poor performance, and it wouldn't be anyone else's fault but my own. I do appreciate the mental health resources link; I'm going to spend some time going through it. I am struggling with depression on a frequent and unpredictable basis. It hits me like bad weather; I begin to feel as though everything is pointless, and my existence is like a stale joke. For a very long time now I've been bored with life and I don't wake up looking forward to anything.. in all honestly I really do wish that the world would just end or that I don't wake up. As for my fascination with other artist's work, it's a pretty complicated situation and explaining it would probably knock this whole thread off topic. I'll say this much..I learn from observation, trial and error, and unfortunately my ability to produce anything has been halted for several years. I'm not just having this problem with drawing; I haven't been able to produce music, film, edit videos, record vocals, work out, or even just leave the house to do something or be around people besides work. I've done a lot of things in my life so far and I have yet to complete anything, nor have I done anything worth being proud of. I was even in the military for a little while, and it was there that I discovered that I do not like being told what to do by "anyone"; it makes me angry. The next time you decide to post a reply on one of these for someone with a problem, please make suggestions, and try to use some tact to express your opinion rather than attempting to tell someone what you think the problem is. Anyway, thanks for at least taking the time to try to help.
EbolaSparkleBear's avatar
Negativity breeds dissatisfaction. The job doesn't matter. It's what you make it.
Everyone has had a shitty job. You're not being persecuted. The goal is to get paid.

" The next time you decide to post a reply on one of these for someone with a problem, please make suggestions, and try to use some tact to express your opinion"

Never going to happen. I'm not a babysitter.
Anicus999's avatar
I am a negative person. My job is not shitty; I just don't like it. Nothing that I said suggests that I feel as though I'm being persecuted. Besides trying to not be who I am right now, I don't really have any goals. If getting paid was one of them, I'd have a very hard time not spending my money on weapons and ammunition and telling you that I'd be visiting everyone that you might care about very soon. Because of that fact it's probably a good thing that I'm on crutches at the moment. No one is asking you to babysit; you come across  as a troll and somewhat of an asshole with Pedobear as your avatar while you post on the Help with life portion of the forum. I don't want to read anything else that you have to say because besides providing mental health resources that I obviously could use, nothing else that you said was very constructive at all. Before you decide to try and say anything else to me or anyone on this forum, please take a moment and think about how welcome you are to go fuck yourself. 
EbolaSparkleBear's avatar
I only care about you, visit yourself with the bullet.
Anicus999's avatar
Now that I've had time to think, and re-evaluate my reaction to you. I'm not going to say anything else. I apologize for what I said; I was angry.
ImperialNokhtis's avatar
You try something completely new that's also creative be different subjects to draw, new mediums, or even completely different art fields to get into the creative mood.
Vineris's avatar
Start carrying a sketchbook with you wherever you go.  When you have breaks at your job or anytime you have a free moment to yourself, sketch stuff.  Idly sketch whatever's around you.  Doodle things.

If all you have is time after work, join some kind of amateur art group.  Take a life drawing class or workshop.  Join your local Urban Sketchers group or go out for Sketchcrawl.  Join a local comic creator group.  Whatever forces you to actually go out and tackle things outside of your comfort zone and be accountable to people while letting you see that not everyone in the world is some kind of rockstar pro artist.

Drawing is hard, so you need to put yourself in situations where you have few distractions and a reason to keep doing it past the point of discomfort.  At home you have a ton of distractions and you have little reason to continue to draw after the first few minutes, so the moment your brain starts thinking "this sucks", you quit.  If you pay money to show up to a workshop or you take the trouble to drag yourself out to a group, you feel like you have to produce something, especially if the group is going to look at everyone's work afterwards. 

When you've taken some trouble to get somewhere, you can't just leave, because then you'll feel like you've wasted money or time.  So you feel obligated to stick it out past the "this sucks" point, and usually after you get your brain to stop whining and complaining you can have a pretty good time.  And if the group is supportive (as real life art groups often are) and everyone says "this is nice" or "I like the way you've done X" then you get to feel a little bit good about your work and it makes you want to come back.

It might be hard the first time, so tell yourself to stick it out and go at least 3 times.  If the group is really critical then try a different group (unless you like the criticism, of course).  Getting out to new places and socializing with people can be a really good way to get yourself out of a rut.

Once you get used to drawing from life and/or doodling, you'll find it a little easier to tackle more complicated artwork at home.  Backgrounds won't be so intimidating if you've gotten used to drawing streets outside.  Figures won't be so intimidating if you've gone to figure drawing.  Being able to ask other artists questions is often useful and they'll give you ideas for things you can try out.
Anicus999's avatar
Thanks for the ideas. I'm unable to walk or drive myself anywhere at the moment, and I'm paying medical bills. When I do manage to regain some semblance of independence, I'll give this a try. For now, I will try to make myself open my sketch pad on breaks and draw things around me.. drawing from reference is a weak area for me because I often end up forgetting about the thing that I'm looking at and just begin drawing from my head. I appreciate the help.