I need reassurance


tiernans's avatar
I never thought I would actually be selfish or needy enough to go through with this but... Here it goes.


Honestly, I have been dealing with a lot of stress and have been a bit depressed lately. I have been acting shy unless I’m with people I trust, which, there aren’t many of those. I haven’t really told anyone any of this because I know there are people who are going through worse and can keep anyone from knowing and I don’t want people to say I’m being a selfish brat. I have already got it a lot from my parents and then, they wonder why I’m so antisocial and moody. My mom has even started asking who I sat with during lunch. Last year, I went to a charter school which didn’t care as much about grades and was a lot easier to deal with until I was being bullied by people who used to be my friends. Now, I’m going to a regular school and am alone again because I have been to scared to talk to anyone. It is even worse that I have been dealing with school stress lately because half the time, I am completely lost. I have been hiding out in the bathroom a lot during class and just crying.

With all the stress, I have been really upset lately and I really need reassurance. I will be really impressed with anyone who replies to this post. I know that I am being really stupid here and I just want to say, don't comment if you are going to be a jerk about it.
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Shammiee's avatar
Do you have people you can trust and talk about anything? Friends, I mean?
Ikny's avatar
Hey, like I guess feelings are real and have an effect and are important no matter what the reason for them. So if you're feeling bad, you don't need to compound those feelings by getting worried that you don't have a good enough reasonto feel bad. Still, considering what you've mentioned, you've got some very strong reasons going there. I think it would be worth trying to find some new friends that aren't mean. Maybe if there is someone cool who you sit next to a lot in class that you could strike up a conversation with a couple of times? Then maybe working up to asking them if it would be cool to hang during lunch?

As for stress, I've found breaking up big tasks into little tasks works quite well. I like writing lists and then crossing of completed tasks with a big fat marker. Sometimes listening to music helps me get onto it when a task seems really big and scary.

I hope that helps :hug:
tiernans's avatar
This really helps and I will try your suggestions!!! Thanks! :D
Javispart's avatar
Don't worry, I know how it feels, at this moment I'm studying in a foreign country and I thought that in this new high schoolI would finally meet someone special or a good group of friends but I feel a little bit alone. In my real country, I lost one the one who was my first friend and one of my best friends and and now we barely talk to each other. :(

But, like me, you only have to be patient, because, someday, your life will have to change, don't you think so? ;)
tiernans's avatar
Yes, I do. It's nice to know I'm not alone and I really appreciate you for commenting. :)
Crabbladex2's avatar
Sometimes life can really get you down. People can seem insensitive and nasty for no reason.
Most the time people just don't care about anything but them selves and so long as they are ok they ingnore your problems or show lack of care or respect for you when you are down.

Getting kicked in the guts and meeting low people is part of life sometimes and we all experience it from time to time.

Most the time we can just work on being positive and push through the horrible feelings of fear and hate. People can seem insensitive at time too but sometimes some consideration for them can help break down barriers.

Good luck with things and saty positive.

vanille.
tiernans's avatar
Thanks! I agree that there are people who can be really insensitive and I feel that this really helps!!! :)
celfydd's avatar
Regarding the bullying, this might help.

Don't be afraid to ask for help from your teachers, that's what they're there for. If the stress is from you not understanding the subject material, they may be able to adapt it so that you find it easier to get your head round it - if they can, it's their responsibility to do so and educate you.
tiernans's avatar
Thanks! I really think this is helpful and I am glad that you were able to help me out a bit!!! I really appreciate this!!!!!
celfydd's avatar
I'm glad :) Hang in there :hug:
NovaStrokes's avatar
Poor fella! ):
Have You been trying to say it to any of teachers (in my school every lesson (exept for Latvian language and Literature) is teached by different teachers)?Or any person You trust.It may help a lot.
Let's imagine that those bad people are...I don't know-something annoying.Just try to ignore them!
My friend (classmate) had the same situation (and so did I in 1st grade) and I just told her these things and everything was solved!

And remember-there always will be someone/some people who care about You!
tiernans's avatar
Thanks! I agree that they are a bit annoying and I really appreciate all the help!!! :D
NovaStrokes's avatar
Keep smiling! Racing Girl Emoji (Ehehe) [V4] 
icyheart5's avatar
That's not being selfish...its fine really and we're all here for u*huggle*
tiernans's avatar
ALOrated's avatar
Hey, don't think of yourself as selfish for asking for help. It shows that you're responsible and mature enough to get other's opinions and help. Knowing that some close friends of mine were having as hard as or harder a time than I was kept me from looking to others for help with some of my own problems for a long time. I learned that those same friends did care for me and looked out for me, and helped me get over some anxiety and trust issues myself.

Don't worry about bullies, you seem like a realistic person and you could definitely make friends and fit in with others. If they put you down or hurt you, all you need to do is go over to a nearby teacher or other adult and say that they're bullying you (and possibly provide some additional information.) It's one of the magic words in schools that can soove a lot of problems. Don't let any of them let you feel bad, think of them as annoying little bugs. You're better than them in the aspect you don't make others feel worse.

Trust issues are very relatable as well. It's often fairly easy to find when people are faking it, and if when you do find friends they end up being fake you can say to their face that it's not nice to be a fake friend like that and you hope that they will be able to get past such low antics someday.

As for stress, just try to calm down for a few moments. Look at what you have to do and what's going on and pick a problem to look into. I'd like to help your more on this aspect, but I don't really know what you mean by lost.

I hope you can sort out the difficulties you're facing, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm happy to listen. I don't mean to sound rude or stuck up in this, I just want to help~
tiernans's avatar
Thank you! Really what I mean is with school, I'm usually stressed because I don't understand a lot of the stuff we are learning. I really appreciate the advice and I definitely think this will help!!! :)
ALOrated's avatar
Sure, I'm glad to know I may have been of use~! As for your problem with school, just try asking your teacher for help, and if you can't or if you're too shy to, you can always look for some help online, as it's fairly easy to find specific information and help online when you know what topic you're researching.
Blazedoesart's avatar
   First off,there's NOTHING wrong with telling how you feel! It's a lot better than bottling it up from everyone,letting it build up,and then it all gets overwhelmingly released. Yes,others may have it worse,but every situation deserves equal attention. There is no "first priority" person when it comes to these issues.
   Anyway,I know you've probably heard this many times before by other people,so here it is from me-I've been through these same issues. At some point in everyone's life (especially at your age,when kids are making their awkward transitions and finding their friends and labels) these feelings of depression,anxiety,and loneliness arise. Not only is it caused by social,emotional,and intellectual change,but your body is changing,too! At this age,your hormones are raging and you have loads of chemical imbalances because you're going from a kid to an adult. One day you're fit as a fiddle and happy,but the next day you're a complete mess. Trust me,I HATED this! I especially started my transitions earlier than most of the kids at school,so it made me feel awkward because I was more mature. Now that might not be your case,but it's just a change that you're going through alongside everyone else.
   Also,I see how you said how you transitioned from charter to public school. That's a big change to environment wise,but your issues followed you as you saw. And as kids go into their transitions,they can be real mean and awkward. And as they say,friends would start as enemies and enemies as friends,and that's just your former friends going through change. It's a confusing time for everyone,really,but it's one that we all have to drag our heels through. And mean kids aren't anything we can escape from-they're EVERYWHERE!!! DX
   But if you're being bullied and harassed by your former friends,they're still bullies and you need to do something about it. Go talk to an adult that you can trust that will help take care of the situation. Or just ignore them. Even maybe if they say something rotten to you,just reply,"What's your problem?"and leave it at that. From what I've experienced,it truly makes them feel rotten about themselves and a bit embarassed. Chances are,they won't come bother you again.
   Anywho,you're going to be okay! :3 In a while,you'll be proud that you've made it through those years of awkwardness and go on to live the life you've worked for.
tiernans's avatar
Thanks!!!! This does help and make me feel better and I'm glad that you think that this was a good thing to do. I really like your advice on the matter and I agree with the bullying situation. Thanks so much for the help!!!
Blazedoesart's avatar
   You're welcome c: and if you ever have questions or concerns about it,just shout.