a conversation with your inner friend....
so...i wanted to open this discussion because, well...i have 2 non-existing friends...
one of them i have already with me for 14 years, who saved me from my depression, while no one else would do that in real life
when im going to meditate, i have contact with him (sometimes he is not in the mood) so i leave him alone
his name is focusmon, a brown/beige looking wolf with green eyes
if you like to read the story, here it is
i wanted to ask, is it wrong to listen to your inner friend while no one else is listening to you?
and do you have an inner friend you share everything with?
one of them i have already with me for 14 years, who saved me from my depression, while no one else would do that in real life
when im going to meditate, i have contact with him (sometimes he is not in the mood) so i leave him alone
his name is focusmon, a brown/beige looking wolf with green eyes
if you like to read the story, here it is
the true story behind my wolf character, focusmonalso the reason im still alive and well and being this far....
hello folks, some information about me what keeps me up....
some people thinks its ridiciolous to begin with this sort of information...but i don't care....i like to prove how importand life is with this story...and im proud that i have experienced this...
this is the origin of my wolf character, focusmon...i do this in memento of him....the reason i like to do this is simple but toutching: without him, i would probaply live a isolated life....or worse
i made focusmon when i was 6 - 7 years old (i could not form him pretty well nor i had a proper name for him) its around 14 years ago (my current age: 21)
what i wanted with him was pretty simple....i would ask him for advice, help, and other things during my grown to be this far....i never thought back there....it would be my true best friend
back there, i was a very silent boy, never spoke unless spoken too or saying out my doubts, teasing others sometimes but never wanted
i wanted to ask, is it wrong to listen to your inner friend while no one else is listening to you?
and do you have an inner friend you share everything with?
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sometimes i talk to characters i make. but i don't really talk to them about my own life because they are never smarter than me.
i think that they can be useful because they help me not to feel alone, but they are not a replacement for real people.
so i think it is everything in moderation. if focusmon helps you, i don't see that there's anything wrong with it, but don't make him a replacement for real people.
you need to nurture healthy relationships with real people too. as long as you are doing that, and focusmon isn't interfering with that, i would say it's ok.
if he is interfering with that i would tell him he is better off spending more time in the wild, where he belongs, because you need to find your human pack.
peace
SoF
i think that they can be useful because they help me not to feel alone, but they are not a replacement for real people.
so i think it is everything in moderation. if focusmon helps you, i don't see that there's anything wrong with it, but don't make him a replacement for real people.
you need to nurture healthy relationships with real people too. as long as you are doing that, and focusmon isn't interfering with that, i would say it's ok.
if he is interfering with that i would tell him he is better off spending more time in the wild, where he belongs, because you need to find your human pack.
peace
SoF
i understand you clearly SoF, and thanks for your perspective
focusmon has been my guide for like...9 year...and he is not interfering with me, i have just a hard time making and maintain contacts....
focusmon has been my guide for like...9 year...and he is not interfering with me, i have just a hard time making and maintain contacts....
I can't really say if it's uncommon or not. I have never really had anyone in my head. It's just me. I also can't say if it's entirely unhealthy or not as I have never had to deal with this but it does not sound exactly normal and you might want to see someone about this. It sounds like you're relying too much on this "friend" to get through your life and they might actually be hurting your ability to deal with others more than you know. You need to learn to deal with reality without the help of this thing as things can get much worse especially if one day it goes away and you are left completely on your own.
i understand this, and i wish for something better, but for now, this is how it will be
It's good that you understand it. I wish you well man.
thanks
wat i dont
thats okay i guess....what do you like to talk about?
i like to talk about anything and evrything as long as its 3rd party.
i don't if its normal, but i have one inner friend too, i pretend they are my mom trying to comfort me since my real mom died and my stepmom hates my guts for some reason.
though i tend to make a story up in my head make the main character have the same feelings i'm having and have their friends help out. i haven't had a real friend in forever.
though i tend to make a story up in my head make the main character have the same feelings i'm having and have their friends help out. i haven't had a real friend in forever.
i am so sorry to hear that this is happened to you, and that you have to live with it in order to survive
i know how you feel, because you are surely not the only one
i know how you feel, because you are surely not the only one
yeah thank you. the only reason i haven't killed myself is because its too much work ><
keep listen to that character, it saved me from my depression once...read my story journal if you have not seen it yet....
That's really, REALLY common. Particularly among people who are creative. It's normal, it's not any sort of problem (unless your friend starts to insult you or tell you to do things you know you shouldn't, at which point you really just need to do some mental adjusting and stop that cycle so it doesn't become habit and start making you feel depressed or anxious). So don't worry, stress, think you're unusual, whatever. (Seriously, I've had like four mental health professionals tell me this- it's actually medically considered normal and balanced. If that makes you feel better.)
In fact, it's been shown in studies that people who talk to themselves- either in their heads or out loud- are generally more intelligent than those that don't (the talking doesn't make you smart, it's just that people who are smart are more likely to do it). Having conversations with different 'people' allows you to view things from multiple angles, so you can more effectively weigh the pros and cons of something and make a good decision. And thinking from multiple angles also encourages you to be more creative and explore options that might otherwise not have occurred to you.
There are 13 people that are 'in my head' on a regular basis, more seem to appear during specific situations. I value their input greatly. And no, I have no control over them, they'll argue, have totally different views on what is and is not OK and what sort of person I need to be- functionally they are totally different people. If you have a brain that supports that then run with it, babe, it creates someone who is incredibly adaptable.
In fact, it's been shown in studies that people who talk to themselves- either in their heads or out loud- are generally more intelligent than those that don't (the talking doesn't make you smart, it's just that people who are smart are more likely to do it). Having conversations with different 'people' allows you to view things from multiple angles, so you can more effectively weigh the pros and cons of something and make a good decision. And thinking from multiple angles also encourages you to be more creative and explore options that might otherwise not have occurred to you.
There are 13 people that are 'in my head' on a regular basis, more seem to appear during specific situations. I value their input greatly. And no, I have no control over them, they'll argue, have totally different views on what is and is not OK and what sort of person I need to be- functionally they are totally different people. If you have a brain that supports that then run with it, babe, it creates someone who is incredibly adaptable.
...........where is the comment feature button? XDD
ahum, this is exactley what i thought, if im running out of options what i can do i hold a former conversation with my wolf character....but i don't do it out loud, that would be awkward xD
instead i meditate for 30 minutes to see how the options work, i put him into diferend acts, based on how my choice will end....and so i can choose the best option.....
thanks for this information, this is actually exactley what i was looking for
ahum, this is exactley what i thought, if im running out of options what i can do i hold a former conversation with my wolf character....but i don't do it out loud, that would be awkward xD
instead i meditate for 30 minutes to see how the options work, i put him into diferend acts, based on how my choice will end....and so i can choose the best option.....
thanks for this information, this is actually exactley what i was looking for
I have a few. Some more than others show up. Mostly when I'm asleep. But I think it is fine to talk to them if irl friends aren't there. Its because you're lonely and want someone to talk to.
yes, that can be true also, i've had once that my wolf character woke me up in my dream in the middle of the night.....to bring up a conversation....like i was dreaming, but had a conversation with him...
Yeah. In my opinion, that's the best way to talk to them. Whether day dreaming, mediating, sleeping at night. But I sometimes randomly hear my personas (that's what I call my friends) talking while wide awake. Most of the time they are talking to each other but I hear them. And I listen.
that sounds cool...
I guess so.
It's not uncommon, that's for sure. Whether it's bad or not depends, but it basically comes down to lack of real friends.
Therapy isn't bad, maybe you had a bad experience for some reason and surely not all therapists are good enough, but you still gotta try. Problems aren't solved on their own. Therapists are people who need to make a living, so of course they need money to survive, and in return they will do their best to help you solve your problems. Sometimes it may take years of therapy to help a person recover, who might never recover, that doesn't mean that the therapist lacks knowledge. Some people carry a lot of baggage through life, and there is no guarantee that there is a cure for everything. Therapy might make you feel better, but it's not a miracle.
Maybe you feel good about things as they are now, but what about the future? will you continue this way? will you ever want to meet new people? how will that affect your life? how will you interact with people at work?
Why does nobody listen to you? Are you sure nobody does?
I think we all take our time to really trust somebody. I don't trust someone 100% the first time I see them. I know some people for years and still don't trust them - because I know them (I know they are not to be trusted). Some people earn my trust very early but eventually show their true face. And some people earn my trust and loyalty and care for years. That's life. But you still gotta meet people and give them a chance before you judge them that easily.
Therapy isn't bad, maybe you had a bad experience for some reason and surely not all therapists are good enough, but you still gotta try. Problems aren't solved on their own. Therapists are people who need to make a living, so of course they need money to survive, and in return they will do their best to help you solve your problems. Sometimes it may take years of therapy to help a person recover, who might never recover, that doesn't mean that the therapist lacks knowledge. Some people carry a lot of baggage through life, and there is no guarantee that there is a cure for everything. Therapy might make you feel better, but it's not a miracle.
Maybe you feel good about things as they are now, but what about the future? will you continue this way? will you ever want to meet new people? how will that affect your life? how will you interact with people at work?
Why does nobody listen to you? Are you sure nobody does?
I think we all take our time to really trust somebody. I don't trust someone 100% the first time I see them. I know some people for years and still don't trust them - because I know them (I know they are not to be trusted). Some people earn my trust very early but eventually show their true face. And some people earn my trust and loyalty and care for years. That's life. But you still gotta meet people and give them a chance before you judge them that easily.
over 12 years:
i don't feel love (girlfriend, mother, father, ECT)
i don't feel pain (tested myself 1 year ago: i went full speed agaist a wall, i heard something cracking, but it tickles)
i don't feel sadness (because i forced myself not to cry) (this is gotten so bad that i laugh at graveyards and cemetry's)
i don't feel scary (like, i have not seen saw yet but mostly if i see gore things im like: oh thats how a brain is looing like?)
the only things i feel are sickness, non-emotion (blank stare) humor and anger
i mean, even the best therapist, would quit his job because im so hard and cold as stone
if you like to know why i have no friends, look, im just a simple looking guy, learning how to live on my own....and im almost all day surrounded by people with down syndrome....
i mean, it can not get any worse to me, i tell you
i don't feel love (girlfriend, mother, father, ECT)
i don't feel pain (tested myself 1 year ago: i went full speed agaist a wall, i heard something cracking, but it tickles)
i don't feel sadness (because i forced myself not to cry) (this is gotten so bad that i laugh at graveyards and cemetry's)
i don't feel scary (like, i have not seen saw yet but mostly if i see gore things im like: oh thats how a brain is looing like?)
the only things i feel are sickness, non-emotion (blank stare) humor and anger
i mean, even the best therapist, would quit his job because im so hard and cold as stone
if you like to know why i have no friends, look, im just a simple looking guy, learning how to live on my own....and im almost all day surrounded by people with down syndrome....
i mean, it can not get any worse to me, i tell you
what can I say, if you really do feel better having non-existing friends, if it's your way of dealing with all this, simply continue. Maybe at some point you will meet someone who will truly listen, and make an effort to understand you, and then you might not need non-existing friends.