change for the worse
I used to have a lot of friends and I used to be so happy by the little things...I was always sort of aching inside since I grew up in poverty but I always was able to push that negativity back since I could hang with my friends every day, be creative online with people, dress up and go to fun parties or conventions or whatever..I used to be involved in everything and it made me feel great and feel like I really mattered..
Then one day the people I cared about just started pushing me further and further away... some would make up horrible things about me and tell it to others to make them hate me until finally they all just cut me out of their lives...why? to look cool.
They say they have grown up and such but if growing up consists of back stabbing people that cared about you then I would rather never grow up....
As horrible as I know that was and how people always tell me that everything they did was wrong and blah blah blah...I still can't help but feel horrible and miss them terribly.
Seeing all of them still together and happy..the few people I was able to hold onto as sort of friends look at me different and treat me different ever since I was casted out... They treat me like a no one..like a threat and then treat the ones that ditched me like gold even though they go around treating everyone like crap..when all I ever offered was fun, friendship, and utter loyalty.
But I guess that isn't worth it in a human being these days...you want to matter and have people like you? then treat them like garbage apparently...
fact is now I have nothing..nothing to get me through the day and my long miserable life of starvation and no future... All I have is regrets and failure and now I have nothing to make it better...I can barely draw anymore...I don't even know why I come on this site since now it is just a cruel reminder of all I used to have since we used to always hang out on here, rp, chat, comment on each others stuff and joke around. Now when I post something there is no fun or bliss...usually not even a single comment. I have no one to chat with..even all my online friends went and changed.
I just want life to be good again...but instead it just gets worse everyday.
I just can't keep pretending to be happy like this...saying everything is fine and having a stupid smile plastered on my face just so people will talk to me..since no on wants to deal with someone depressed.
Then one day the people I cared about just started pushing me further and further away... some would make up horrible things about me and tell it to others to make them hate me until finally they all just cut me out of their lives...why? to look cool.
They say they have grown up and such but if growing up consists of back stabbing people that cared about you then I would rather never grow up....
As horrible as I know that was and how people always tell me that everything they did was wrong and blah blah blah...I still can't help but feel horrible and miss them terribly.
Seeing all of them still together and happy..the few people I was able to hold onto as sort of friends look at me different and treat me different ever since I was casted out... They treat me like a no one..like a threat and then treat the ones that ditched me like gold even though they go around treating everyone like crap..when all I ever offered was fun, friendship, and utter loyalty.
But I guess that isn't worth it in a human being these days...you want to matter and have people like you? then treat them like garbage apparently...
fact is now I have nothing..nothing to get me through the day and my long miserable life of starvation and no future... All I have is regrets and failure and now I have nothing to make it better...I can barely draw anymore...I don't even know why I come on this site since now it is just a cruel reminder of all I used to have since we used to always hang out on here, rp, chat, comment on each others stuff and joke around. Now when I post something there is no fun or bliss...usually not even a single comment. I have no one to chat with..even all my online friends went and changed.
I just want life to be good again...but instead it just gets worse everyday.
I just can't keep pretending to be happy like this...saying everything is fine and having a stupid smile plastered on my face just so people will talk to me..since no on wants to deal with someone depressed.
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"But I guess that isn't worth it in a human being these days..."
This is why I stopped being one.
Seriously though, part of the problem is that you want to matter to people who treat you like garbage. Isn't gonna happen.
Then again, another part of the problem is that people are just shitheads and sometimes some peoples' lives are just unhappy for no reason. Even when there -is- a problem, it's not always their fault.
Other than that, I wouldn't know what to tell you. I certainly don't know enough to judge what's going on. I wouldn't know whether or not it's your fault. Don't assume it isn't, but don't assume it is, either.
The only thing I can say for certain is that you have to get over trying to "still be friends" with people who don't like or respect you. It's just not worth trying, and it won't work anyway.
This is why I stopped being one.
Seriously though, part of the problem is that you want to matter to people who treat you like garbage. Isn't gonna happen.
Then again, another part of the problem is that people are just shitheads and sometimes some peoples' lives are just unhappy for no reason. Even when there -is- a problem, it's not always their fault.
Other than that, I wouldn't know what to tell you. I certainly don't know enough to judge what's going on. I wouldn't know whether or not it's your fault. Don't assume it isn't, but don't assume it is, either.
The only thing I can say for certain is that you have to get over trying to "still be friends" with people who don't like or respect you. It's just not worth trying, and it won't work anyway.
I know how you feel man the same thing happened with many of my friends. That coupled with depression made my life turn horribly sour and most days I just sit there and lament the change. Sadly it's just one of those things you eventually have to lean how to roll with which is incredibly difficult to do but still possible. They weren't as good of friends to you as you were to them and they didn't deserve your loyalty or anything that your brought to the friendship. Anyone that just drastically changes like that and does those horrible things to you doesn't deserve your friendship. Though I know how hard it can be to let them go and how you'll mourn their loss for a long time.
I probably would of been able to get over it if it didn't keep getting shoved in my face every day...I really wish sometimes to just move away and come back years later when everyone has forgotten all their random hate towards me and I can just start a new but..no way I want to move from the few things I do have, nor do I think they would get over their hate...they are so strange about it..the one guy I only ever showed kindness, hell I stood up for him when his close friends made fun of him...yet he treats me like the literal devil...he had a friend who started just using him for his stuff until they had a huge fight and made him cry and hate everything..yet he was able to forgive and forget with that guy no problem..I did nothing to him yet he sees me like a monster...its really weird..wrong and concerning..
Ugh I know that feeling. I just wanna mysteriously vanish for awhile and come back to see if they still hate me sometimes but they probably would all still hold their grudges. The idealist part of me wants to suggest finding new people to hang with but the logical me knows that is easier said than done.
exactly, in every way, exactly
Cat videos.
Also, punch the bastards in their fatass faces.
Also, punch the bastards in their fatass faces.
cat videos are good yeah...really tempted to punch them. all of them...but I try to avoid violence
Aw that is so awful of them
They don't deserve you at all, the assholes
We might not talk a lot but I still consider ya as a friend :3 (I hope that's not creepy xD)
You can always come to me if you need someone to talk ^^
They don't deserve you at all, the assholes
We might not talk a lot but I still consider ya as a friend :3 (I hope that's not creepy xD)
You can always come to me if you need someone to talk ^^
thanks...it was all so sudden..I have no idea what came over them, it was like they just became completely different people over night :/
and it isn't creepy
thank you
and it isn't creepy
thank you
Ah yeah I understand completely
And I'm glad it isn't creepy x3
![Llama Emoji-60 (Snug or Hug) [V3]](https://orig11.deviantart.net/8849/f/2013/342/9/b/llama_emoji_60__snug_or_hug___v3__by_jerikuto-d6x0zsy.gif)
And I'm glad it isn't creepy x3
>w<