Problems regarding school with my sister


DigitalTechno's avatar
Hello everyone,I'm currently in need of some help regarding my family.I apologize for any spelling errors ^^'
I don't live in USA and I don't know when their school starts and ends.In my country (which is Russia),we have 3 months of summer vacation,all students return to school on 1st September.
So,this year on 1st September my younger sister went to school for the first time and entered 1st grade.For little kids,this day is the day when they can learn writing,spelling,reading and many other exciting things!I myself was very excited to learn knew things and tell my mom what I've learned!
But for my sister it's...boring I guess.She talks a lot during lessons with a person who sits next to her,she doesn't listen to her teacher and when she asks what she have learned today-she can't say a thing.In short,she doesn't enjoy school and doesn't want to do anything either.
A week ago,when I returned from school,I heard my aunt (she is my younger sister's mom) literally bursting in tears of what she have heard from teachers on that day.It turns out,that my sister had a fight with another girl,and this was announced in front of the entire class by the teacher!I was in pure shock when I heard this,how can a kid can do that?!When I was her age,I was focused on studying than involving into fights,I was a peaceful kind of a person.
Today,my sister again,wasn't listening to her teacher and talking a lot.The teacher said,if she will continue this behaviour,next month she will be kicked out of the school!
I-I just can't watch my aunt crying everytime a teacher tells her that my sister doesn't want to study.Since I am her older sister,besides my mom,my grandma and my aunt,I also tried to help her.But she still continues this behaviour!
My aunt tried to teach her a lesson by not letting her watch TV,not letting her to use her tablet and other kinds of small things she likes.But it doesn't work on her in any way!
I would be really grateful to hear some advice from you,especially from mom's out there who had to experience this with their children.I also need to help her to get out of this situation and make her realize that she won't build her future like this.
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Zujey's avatar
I think that the way the teacher reacted was not good either, that could turn into something encouraging -like everytime she does something bad the teacher will say it in front of everyone and she will gain attention. Maybe she tried to do it to discourage her behaviour but not all kids react the same. Discipline would be more effective, like you say your fam will not let her see tv or something, hopefuly she will change her behaviour eventually.

But it could also be the class itself, how the teacher interacts with the kids or simply because its a phase or stage like ff-vxhatred says. Completely normal if u ask me and to me, the teacher its overreacting [kicking a kid outta shool wth..] You need two ppl to fight, dont let people tell you how 'bad' or misbehaved your sister is or watever, kids remember all this when they grow up and kids arent equal nor perfect, they just kids.

Idk just my opinion.
DigitalTechno's avatar
Thank you for your advice :) Hopefully she will change her mind about school over time :)
ImperialNokhtis's avatar
It sounds like a behavioral or learning disability or combination of the two and that she's not being encouraged in a way that relates to her. It could also be rebellion from being told what to do by another adult she doesn't know and coping with new faces. 

 She needs counseling to determine which. When discipline isn't working it's because of underlying factors (or not being firm enough, after all she's just a child) More needs to be done not just taking things away because if she doesn't understand what she did wrong or why it matters it won't do anything. And if it's something else, she won't care and just think everyone is being mean.

 Talk to her. Not in a ridiculing way because it's not about her being a bad kid. Don't say "you should"  Ask her questions. What she thinks, what she feels. Maybe have her write down her thoughts and feelings in a journal. Get involved in her learning and try different approaches. 

 I also think it's stupid these problems have been so ongoing the school is threatening her to be removed. That means these problems were not immediately addressed and that's plain irresponsibility and your parents/aunt not knowing what to do. 
DigitalTechno's avatar
Okay,I'll try to talk about it more with her.I agree,taking things away from a child not gonna do anything,but sadly that's the only option my aunt knows how to make a child to do something by herself.I'll also try to look up more of these options for my aunt this month.
The main problem with my sister,is that unlike me and all of family members,who are serious when it comes to studying,work,projects and etc,my sister is not diciplined (which is possibly the main reason why she doesn't want to do anything during lessons).I'll encourage my aunt to talk about it with my sister a bit more.
Thank you for your advice,I'll use it in later conversations with my family to deal with this problem :)
xT3CHNO-W1NGx's avatar
From what I can see, your sister might have either fallen into a bad crowd, or hasn't been shown true dicipline.
I'm kinda pulling theories out of my ass here ^^;
DigitalTechno's avatar
Well she is the opposite of me,she is quite energetic,really active and a bit loud.As you said,she is not diciplined,it's true.I don't know from who she got this behaviour,because everyone in my family including me are seious about school,work,projects and etc.
No it's okay,your advice can be really helpful to my aunt (my sister's mother) ^^
So far my sister is quite mad at how my aunt told her not to watch TV until she changes.Because in my school,parents can't visit their children during lessons,only to pick them up after school.That's what makes it difficult for my aunt to see what she is doing during the lessons.Today she promised to change,I just hope she won't be kicked out of the school,since my school won't accept another student from one family and almost all schools in my location are filled with new students.
xT3CHNO-W1NGx's avatar
I do think that it could be a lack of discipline.
Every child goes through this stage...sort of.
If the kid hasn't been show discipline, then it will use that to their advantage
Take angel the bunny from MLP (IDK if you are a pegasister, but just bare with me).
As fluttershy is too kind to discipline him, angel is able to act like a spoiled brat.
at the end of "putting your hoof down", when fluttershy is more assertive, she is able to 
use her new gained assertiveness to discipline angel into not being spoiled.

It's really just a matter of discipline. 
But if that doesn't work, I'm not sure what will QAQ
DigitalTechno's avatar
Non of us were diciplined as kids tbh.I myself wasn't that good at my first day of school either,I was throwing fits when I was doing homework XD
I'll try to search for more options to encourage her to study :) ,thank u <3
xT3CHNO-W1NGx's avatar
You're welcome X3