why do a lot of older women give me a difficult time


EV9295's avatar
I'm a very nice person as polite as ever and still they are rude to me and so mean.
Why?

I'm about23 years old and very nice, my biggest problem is saying no to people.
Comments34
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faeorain's avatar
I'm 42, but I don't feel I'm especially mean or rude. It's hard to give an answer when there really is no context to your story...no examples. I'm doubting it has anything to do with their age.
EV9295's avatar
I finally figured it out.
I think its because I don't treat them as my superiors I treat them as a coworker.
faeorain's avatar
Well, that may be a small part of it but based on the examples you gave, it also sounds like the one particular person may have a bit of an attitude problem as well as perhaps a bit prejudiced and/or racist. If she thinks " stupid " and " white girl " are synonymous, then she has a serious problem. And as for the other, all I can say is that sadly, this is part of the workplace in most cases. Every place I've ever worked always had a few problem workers who would show up late, try to pawn their tasks on others, gossip about other employees, etc. and age was not really a factor. I've seen this behavior in older and younger people, male and female.

Also, if they are not your superiors and are just co-workers, then you are not obligated to treat them as superiors. I'd suggest treating them as you would want to be treated, but if they try to give you conflicting orders with what that of a manager, always follow what management tells you. Unfortunately, newbies on the job are often treated this way by established employees. There has always been at least one of these types at any job I've had as well. I came to the point where I would tell them " with all due respect, I'm here to do my job as instructed by management and will follow the rules as they give them to me ".
EV9295's avatar
Thank you for your answer!!!

Maybe its not that they're older but perhaps I'm alwaya surrounding myself with older women.
Oh well.
Thank you for your well thought out answer. I really appreciate it!!😊
faeorain's avatar
AsheSkyler's avatar
I find I don't mix well with certain generations or certain classes of people, even worse when it's a person of a certain generation combined with a certain class. And some people are just plain ol' rude.

And there's that unwritten rule where nobody will respect you until you're over 25 with a steady job. :O
EV9295's avatar
Haha, well thank you!!😊
PrairieLily's avatar
There are plenty of mean people who are 10, 20, 30, 40, 50.. And so on. This has nothing to do with their age but the fact that they are just rude and mean. You're making the mistake of placing a very narrow-viewed parallel between their attitude and age. I'm sure if you spent as much time with people who are younger than you, you would say "Why are younger girls so mean to me?".

As for why? Everyone has their reasons. Could be because you're obnoxious. Could be because they're having a bad day. Could be a combination of other personal things. 

What matters is what you do about it. Speak up for yourself or avoid these people. Learn how to say No instead of using it as an excuse for why you're letting people walk on you. If you don't make an effort, nothing will ever change.
uxv's avatar
Agreed, even though we lack details, OP's conclusion seems really far fetched.
gofuckyrself's avatar
huhh do you mean the elderly or? I find older people fairly easy to get along with in conversation.
EV9295's avatar
About late 30s to 40 years old.
tessabe's avatar
So you'd judge me based on my age? I wouldn't do that to you.
ShuQxx's avatar
PrairieLily's avatar
Jealousy is what insecure people tell themselves to avoid coming to a real conclusion. Especially since people tend to ignore the fact that all of the situations in which someone was rude had one thing in common. Themselves. Which means.. Gasp.. It may have absolutely nothing to do with the other people, but how they themselves act or speak!

I know. Unheard of.
ShuQxx's avatar
Well, anything is possible. It's hard to say if you weren't there at the time, and not the person with whatever motives to do an act that was deemed 'rude' by somebody. 

But given my experiences with random women picking on me, which includes them using 2 hands and shoving me, straight out saying "Looking at you, dressing so classy and elegant, but you don't let me shove you", or accusing me of pretending to be crippled after I reprimand her for shoving me (I had my leg in a cast)... I unfortunately am pretty biased not only against women but men as well (of whatever age).

Whilst I wouldn't say it's out of jealousy in my case, I just think people are generally rude (particularly where I live), and because I look like a quiet doormatty type, I definitely get picked on.

But jealous is a possible reason for the OP. Either way, I personally don't see the point in thinking why people were rude to me :shrug: If they were rude, I'll tell them off regardless of their reasons, so it doesn't bother me. If they tell me it's something I did wrong, and it's valid, fine, I'd excuse whatever I did that bothered them enough to be rude/violent back. 
faeorain's avatar
That is a really odd experience to have. I've managed to make it this far and never been shoved by another grown woman. But what they said to you while doing it is even more bizarre. I'm guessing this would be considered a rare occurrence and not the norm.

One other thing to consider is that perhaps the OP's perception is a bit distorted. Since as you correctly say, none of us where there to know what happened, we don't know whether or not people were really rude or if it was her own perception of it. People do act rude to others at times of course, but I think once someone gets it into their mind that most people are going to be rude to them ( if even from a certain age bracket ), it's sort of established then that this is how they will always see every interaction, even if it's not always the case.
ShuQxx's avatar
She said it afterwards when I stood my ground and 'didn't let her push me'. Hmm.. it is kind of the norm around here actually.. especially since most people are doormats here so those types of people just keep taking advantage and doing it. Honestly not sure why these people in non-business attire are in such a rush to go somewhere during business rush hour times.
I've had guys grope me/hump me or whatever stupid beta weakass attempt at sexual harrassment, and when I hit them and yell at them, they have the audacity the argue that I shouldn't have hit them. It's ridiculous why I have to justify hitting a creep/pervert. Or if I'm walking in the correct direction (following the arrows) and someone isn't, they'll argue with me saying I should 'give way'..

We get a lot of rude, uncultured (though being rude is very much their culture), stuck up ('mainland') nouveau riche chinese tourists here.. they think having money allows them the "luxury" of being asses and not having to follow rules, laws or anything. I mean, they're literally shitting in streets, the ones with some ounce of shame shit in the rubbish bins. (Sorry for rant/offtangentness)

Hmm.. Maybe? I think that's mainly only for really bitter people, or ones that have experienced it so much it's a pretty reinforced stereotype for them. I do expect people to be rude, but I don't really think they're specifically going to be rude to me =D so I suspect it does take quite an egocentric/woe-is-me type of individual to think that way.
PrairieLily's avatar
"Looking at you, dressing so classy and elegant, but you don't let me shove you" isn't even proper english. I'm not sure what the point of that statement actually is.

"I personally don't see the point in thinking why people were rude to me Shrug If they were rude, I'll tell them off regardless of their reasons, so it doesn't bother me. If they tell me it's something I did wrong, and it's valid, fine, I'd excuse whatever I did that bothered them enough to be rude/violent back. "

Then give OP that advice, rather than just telling her that people are obviously jealous of her. That is by far more useful information.
ShuQxx's avatar
She said it in cantonese, it's a bit hard to translate. Basically (how I took it to mean) she thought I looked quiet and a pushover, so she pushed me expecting me to let her, as well as admitting she did it on purpose. 

She asked for possible reasons, not advice. She herself said she's not good at saying no already, I rather doubt she is the type to start telling people off. 
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EV9295's avatar
My mom said that but I just cant figure out why they would be jealous.
ShuQxx's avatar
Mid life crisis, probably starting to lose their looks, body, skin etc... :shrug: 
gofuckyrself's avatar
huh, I don't know what to tell you there. Like just civil interaction or?
EV9295's avatar
Rude just plain rude.
They tell me things like
"You stupid"