Concerned asexual


Quinstiff's avatar
Hello, I am a 27 year old closet aromantic asexual, and am still a virgin. Throughout my life, I've been pressured by my father, and some of my friends, to lose my virginity. But the truth is is that I'm not really interested in sex, and I don't think I want to (I'm also sex-repulsed.). Plus I keep comparing myself to stuff like "The 40-year-old Virgin", thinking that I am a loser because I never had sex. I don't know whether or not to be ashamed or proud of my virginity.

Can somebody please give me any advice?
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Quinstiff's avatar
I'm sorry you don't like my work. But I don't care what you say. I love my art. And I love me for who I am. And if you don't like it, that is your problem.
LostPaparazzi's avatar
Don't listen to society. It's hung up on some stupid stuff. I'm asexual as well, a year younger than you, and have no interest in sex. People used to pressure me and even tried to set me up with someone before but it didn't work. I know it's hard sometimes, but just stay true to yourself and just do your thing. People will eventually stop bugging you to get with someone if you resist enough. Hopefully. There's no rule stating you have to pursue something you don't want and aren't interested in but people in general can be weird.
Quinstiff's avatar
Thank you so much! :hug:
Shiruettomiraju's avatar
Plus I keep comparing myself to stuff like "The 40-year-old Virgin"

Now now thats no way to think! You're an artist, you know better then to let media have any effect on your life. Especially in a comedic film thats central purpose is to offend people for comedic value. I's sure if you spoke with the director of 40 year old virgin they would have no idea what asexual even means. Don't let people pressure you into doing something you are uncomfortable with. Each and ever decision in your life should be made on your terms and you should always try to do what makes you happy. As an asexual you shouldn't feel ashamed by not partaking in something that you were born with out the drive to do so. Be proud to be who you are and be proud to have made the choices you have made thus far in life. I personally would tell you to come out. It is your decision at the end of the day but youre not doing yourself any favors having to live a lie and feel ashamed over something you have no control over and it will also make people in your life less eager to pressure you into losing your virginity.

Anyways, thats just my 2 cents :)
Quinstiff's avatar
Thank you so much! This makes me feel better! Giant Smother Hug V2 
TheGodApollosFarts's avatar
I am almost 30 and i find sex boring and un pleasurable . I am a female   but i am know many males  are like this too. Nothing wrong with sex i just do not have any desire to come in contact with someone like that or have a relationship with anyone male or female.I personally love being asexual because i feel like it gives me more freedom.
Quinstiff's avatar
You know, I agree with you. What you said does sound true. Being asexual does feel liberating! :D

Thank you! :hug:
TheGodApollosFarts's avatar
Glad i could make you feel better :)
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Quinstiff's avatar
Why, thank you. :aww:
MissusJakabok's avatar
Society is weird about sex and virginity tbh.
And you don't lose you virginity anyway - it's more like your sexual debut if anything. I saw it as just gaining an experience, rather than losing anything.
But if you're just not interested in sex, that's totally fine. If anyone tries to pressure you over something so trivial (literally, I cannot remember much about my first time, and it was only last year!) then they need to leave you alone.
Sex isn't the be all and end all. I'm a very sexual person who loves my sexuality, and is very vocal about it, but even I don't put much stock into it.
I don't feel having sex or partaking in sexual acts has made me grow as a person very much. I mean, yeah I feel more comfortable about what I'm doing with another person, now that I know what I'm doing, but that's about it.
It's like when I learned how to use a can opener - I felt a little bit proud, but it didn't change my life, or my outlook on life :XD:
Quinstiff's avatar
Viorp's avatar
If everyone liked to eat shit and wanted to force you to do it. You should be proud you do what you want.

For me it is sad I'll end up the first male crazy cat lady.

But not having something you don't want or even dislike is neither sad or or anything else...
Quinstiff's avatar
Thanks. This was pretty helpful. :)
UncleTile's avatar
Fuck 'em. If you don't want to bang, then you don't bang.
UnderneathTheWillow's avatar
I agree with the others. Don't be pressured into smt you don't want. Society is so strict about what they think is normal, it's bullshit.
Quinstiff's avatar
ch0copudding's avatar
Meh. Society puts all sorts of pressure on people. If you arent interested in sex theres really nothing to be done. Fuck what people think :)
MrFoxster's avatar
Sex is not a obligation. The movie you refer is a movie, not a documentary. If you want to have sex, then go. if you don't then don't.

I'm 48 and never have sex, mostly because I never really been interested and I never add anyone to "push me" to do so.

Not been interested in sex is not a crime, nor is a abomination, or a deviation. If you do want sex, it must be what you want, not what other are trying you do do because they think you should have sex at your age. Also some think that you must have kids to continue your family name, but a name are just letters nothing more.

Always what YOU want, not what other want when it come to your life.