I accidentally told her I loved her...


Set-Byul's avatar

4 years ago I became best friends with Abby, who I later developed romantic feelings for.  I never told her how I felt up until she transferred colleges to Minnesota.  Sometime later I started dating Chelsea.  Two weeks into our relationship, I found out Abby liked me and I still had feelings for her.  Chelsea told me to break up and go with Abby so I did.  But I was conflicted because I liked both of them, but I saw Chelsea everyday and Abby was in MN.  After two excruciating weeks of stress, I ended up choosing Chelsea.  I broke Abby's heart and I really REALLY hurt her.

I later found out it was the wrong choice.  Chelsea ended up breaking my heart.  I still have feelings for Abby but I'm pretty sure nothing will come of it since I hurt her so bad.  We are still best friends and we talk all the time, even though she is training in the Army.  We were talking last night about the hints we gave each other back when we didn't know we actually liked each other.  And I accidentally slipped out the fact that I loved her.  Now I'm freaking out and she never replied back on it.  I didn't mean to say it and now I'm worried that I damaged our friendship (again).  I'm such an idiot!  I don't know if I should give her some space or try to talk to her?
I messed up.

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sandor-laza's avatar
Go Back and talk to Abby!! Nothing bad can come out of that! Life and human relationships is a very complicated matter, you will understand this when you get older. Go and talk to her!!!!  You will never forgive yourself if you don't!  (LOL, if you want to see how complicated human relations can get, watch any of the films of Woody Allen. (Manhattan, Sweet and Lowdown, Sara and her sisters, Mighty Aphrodite, Play it again Sam...)
Set-Byul's avatar
Yeah we have been talking and I ended up asking her out.  She said she will give me her answer once she is done with Army training because she isn't allowed to date until she graduates from training.  So I'm guessing it's a good thing?  If she was going to say no she would've right?
sandor-laza's avatar
Yes, this is a good news! Plan your date carefully, ask her what she likes to do, what kind of food she likes and organise a very special time for her!  Take her somewhere beautiful and special! Yo can do a picnic on the top of a skycraper, or at a beautiful viewpoint! Bring her flowers and everything!!  Send her a postcard or a letter every day during the army training. Not just text, or email, proper postcards, hand written!  Or a letter, you can put little gifts in it to show her that you think about her all the time!!  
Set-Byul's avatar
Haha well since we've been best friends for 4 years, I already know what she likes so I will plan accordingly.
I'll be visiting her in VA in October so we will probably do stuff there like go to the beach or something.  And she loves minions (she hasn't seen the new movie) so we are going to watch that together.  It'll be a silly date ;)
I'm not sure she is a flower person...but then again I've never tried so I don't know for sure.  Rose is in her middle name so maybe I'll send some roses!
Postcard/letter is a great idea!  I don't think I'll be able to send her one every day haha but I'll definitely mail her something!  
sandor-laza's avatar
LOL, ALL girls are flower person, you can't go wrong with that!  More than that, if you tell her that whenever see roses she comes into your mind, she will love it! If you take a photo of the rose, even better! You can message the photo over to prove that you were thinking about her!
Also, here is something interesting for you:  www.psychologytoday.com/blog/o…
Set-Byul's avatar
Haha yeah I guess so I'll give it a try!
The article is pretty great!  Thanks for sending it to me it is really interesting and quite applicable.
Autumns-Adopts's avatar
I think you should try and see if she would be okay with the two of you dating again. Explain to her that what you did was a mistake and that you wont do it again and that you truly love her and Im sure she'll come around
MatsuriXGaara's avatar
If she does turn you down it may be due to the long distance thing. I know a lot of people get really hesitant about that. If that's the case then try your best to hold yourself together and remain her friend if she's honest about cherishing you as a person. Maybe fate will guide your paths towards one another and you can create a relationship then. Or maybe the two of you need to decide which one leaves their city to live near the other one. 

If she agrees to be with you then great! But if she says no at first, there could be a way of someday turning the answer into a yes. Best of luck!
Set-Byul's avatar
She doesn't care much about long distance so I don't think that will be a problem.

I hope she says yes!  I ended up asking her out but she says she will have to wait until after her Army training is finished to give me an answer because she isn't allowed to date until then.  Sooo...does that mean she will say yes?
MatsuriXGaara's avatar
Well I see it as one of two things because i dont see why she needs to bother waiting to give you an answer.

Either she is still weighing her options and is using the training as a way to get more time to consider everything, or she does want to date you but doesn't want her training to get in the way of the beginning of your honeymoon phase. I say this because when they say "no dating" it has to translate to "no distractions". She wouldn't be punished if she was already with someone when she started her training.

Both of these options are in your favor though because if she didn't want to be with you she would have just said "no."
Set-Byul's avatar
...yeah that's true.  I'll be positive about it and assume she will say yes???  Bah!  Well I'm planning on flying to VA to visit her at her first station, and she didn't tell me not to come.  So I THINK this means it is a yes!

Haha we won't get much of a honeymoon phase since we won't see each other much but oh well.
MatsuriXGaara's avatar
Maybe your honeymoon phase will come in intervals for each time you two can see each other. Bet that'd be fun!
Set-Byul's avatar
Haha yeah probably!  It does sound fun!
We are also planning on going to Alaska together next September, just us too.  So that'll be awesome too!
Maybe it'll all work out!
Clockblockers's avatar
Give her some cute kitten pictures and help teach the illiterate people how to spell. :nod:
Set-Byul's avatar
Hahahaha and solve world peach while I'm at it!
Deathstrider1's avatar
my advice give her space ive been through something a little similar and it ended in a perma banned from hell so give her space then message her if she says anything ask her then but what ever you do dont give up on her 
Set-Byul's avatar
Yeah I gave her space and we ended up talking about it anyway.  Aaaaand I asked her out.  She said she can't date right now because of Army training but she will give me an answer once she graduates.  Is that a good sign?
Deathstrider1's avatar
only time will tell
Set-Byul's avatar
Wise words haha
Deathstrider1's avatar
xD true that :P i made this mistake before xD it ended horrible :P
explodingapple's avatar
Well if you truly love this girl...

then I would say get a catapult of write her name in the sky.

Or pour out all her feelings to her, look her in the eyes after driving hours to get up there, say it to her face and ask for an answer.

If you get her, gummy bears.

If she says no, get gummyworms.

If she still isn't sure buy her a 25 pound gummy worm.

There's gummy candy at the end of all results. 

Love is friendship ignited.  Best of luck to you, sailor!
Set-Byul's avatar
Hahahaha man I wish I had the time to drive and tell her.
Gummy bears sound like an awesome idea haha!  I'll mail her some if she says yes lol

And then bring her a 25 pound gummy worm next time I visit her!

Thank you!
explodingapple's avatar
You're welcome friend. :)

Another option is cooking for her.

Girls love a man who can bake.

Send her baked goods, and a hand written card.

She will go nuts.
Set-Byul's avatar
Well I'm a girl but yeah that's a good idea.  She does like my cooking!
I suck at baking though.  I follow the directions and I still fail miserably D:

But good idea!  You're brilliant!