What Do??
Just want some advice.
So I have a crush on this guy, he's really sweet and kind to me, and compliments me a lot. however he seems to do this with everyone. maybe it's just because I only know his online persona and haven't met him in real life yet (I met him on okcupid, he's about 3-4 hours drive from me) but I get the vibe he would never return my feelings at all. it's just upsetting because he seems so unique, and he's trans like I am.
I'm not sure if sometime soon I should just tell him I like him and would like to get to know him better and most likely face rejection, or to not say anything, try to chill out and try to kill off these feelings.
what do you guys think I should do?
So I have a crush on this guy, he's really sweet and kind to me, and compliments me a lot. however he seems to do this with everyone. maybe it's just because I only know his online persona and haven't met him in real life yet (I met him on okcupid, he's about 3-4 hours drive from me) but I get the vibe he would never return my feelings at all. it's just upsetting because he seems so unique, and he's trans like I am.
I'm not sure if sometime soon I should just tell him I like him and would like to get to know him better and most likely face rejection, or to not say anything, try to chill out and try to kill off these feelings.
what do you guys think I should do?
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Relax ... breath ....
what is the first step to take an estrategic desition ?
information ....
if you are not sure of something dont jump, also dont jump to conclutions.
he might be nice, he might be a player, he might be a nice guy
then again ... how to know what he is ?
keep talking with him ... give time to time, and one day you will be sure if he is worth your heart.
and remember ... we are 7 BILLION PEOPLE in this world. if hes not the one ... your chances are not any lower : )
be happy, smile and be patient.
what is the first step to take an estrategic desition ?
information ....
if you are not sure of something dont jump, also dont jump to conclutions.
he might be nice, he might be a player, he might be a nice guy
then again ... how to know what he is ?
keep talking with him ... give time to time, and one day you will be sure if he is worth your heart.
and remember ... we are 7 BILLION PEOPLE in this world. if hes not the one ... your chances are not any lower : )
be happy, smile and be patient.
I think he's a player and you're just going to get burnt.
If he's nice and/or flirty and such with a large swath of people
he's probably casting a net to see what he catches.
If he's nice and/or flirty and such with a large swath of people
he's probably casting a net to see what he catches.
Tell him. If he doesn't return the feeling, so be it. At least you'll know and you can just move on.
Isn't OkCupid a dating site? I would imagine that there's some kind of connection there if he's still using that place to chat with you. So I don't think it's unreasonable to ask him how he feels about you or to arrange a meetup sometime.
yes it is. and we talk over skype now but used that system at first
Well, he obviously saw something in you which made him want to keep talking. Since you met on OkCupid I don't think it's unreasonable to be honest and tell him how you feel and ask whether it's mutual. At least then you'll know where you stand and whether you guys are actually still on the road to dating or whether he just wanted to stay in touch as a friend. If he says he's not interested now it'll be easier to get over than if you leave yourself wondering and hoping for weeks/months more.
Hmm, if he's sweet and kind to everyone, that means that he isn't lying to you about that. Isn't that niiiice~ Ihihihiii~
Kehhehhehheh! Whaaaat? Can you hear the irrationality in your words? Why would you plan killing off your feelings even before you have been rejected? Is rejection such a bad thing that it's better to just give up in the beginning before even trying. That's foolish! First get rejected, and only afterwards start thinking about killing off your feelings. Buuut~ Killing off feelings is impossible anyway, so better not even think about thaat.
People get rejected all the time. But worry not, unlike girls, guys usually try to make rejection as painless as possible. So face that at least, before deciding that you give up. You can't decide for him that he doesn't want you, you knooow~
Kehhehhehheh! Whaaaat? Can you hear the irrationality in your words? Why would you plan killing off your feelings even before you have been rejected? Is rejection such a bad thing that it's better to just give up in the beginning before even trying. That's foolish! First get rejected, and only afterwards start thinking about killing off your feelings. Buuut~ Killing off feelings is impossible anyway, so better not even think about thaat.
People get rejected all the time. But worry not, unlike girls, guys usually try to make rejection as painless as possible. So face that at least, before deciding that you give up. You can't decide for him that he doesn't want you, you knooow~
Why don't you try to meet him?
impossible at the moment...he lives like 4 hours drive from me. And the weather here is super nasty, we get snow like every other day, the roads are always too bad to travel that much. it'd be like, at least another month before I could consider it.
Send me some of your snow. We don't have enough water here.
happily. our snowbanks are huge.
They should build a pipeline to export all your excess snow to the southwest.
that would be amazing.
As a general rule, it's usually best to just be straight with people and tell them that you like them. Unless you're prepared to sit on those feelings forever.
Meet at a little cafe or something, over coffee. Nothing fancy, just a non-alcoholic beverage. If red flags start flying or you find you're just not interested, the meeting's over when the drink is done (or honestly, before it is, depending on the situation). If everything flows, then order a sandwich or something. The beautiful thing about that type of meeting is that there's no pressure to stay, and you can always retreat as the situation demands, or stay if it merits.
And have a friend nearby, just in case. Creepers suck.
And have a friend nearby, just in case. Creepers suck.
I can't, he lives about 4 hours drive from me. and the weather is currently too bad all the time to travel. lots of snow and ice.
Enjoy the online friendship, then? 
If I were you, keep talking to him and wait a bit. How well do you know him? Have you both skyped each other? Also, does he have a girlfriend? You have to check for these things. If you both just started talking, don't tell him immediately yet. That'll make both of you feel awkward. Give it time.
With guys, they can be very, very confusing. Trust me from personal experience. To them, yes means no, and no means yes. Just watch his body language. If he acts a certain way around you, and no one else, that's a sign. Does he flirt? Typically, guys like to flirt to show a girl he likes her. That's happened with me in rl? As stupid as it sounds, a lot of guys tend to do that.
Like you said, you only know his online persona. Skype him, and try talking to him more. If he doesn't return your feelings, that's okay. There's other guys out there too for you.
This is coming from someone who's had experience with guys.
With guys, they can be very, very confusing. Trust me from personal experience. To them, yes means no, and no means yes. Just watch his body language. If he acts a certain way around you, and no one else, that's a sign. Does he flirt? Typically, guys like to flirt to show a girl he likes her. That's happened with me in rl? As stupid as it sounds, a lot of guys tend to do that.
Like you said, you only know his online persona. Skype him, and try talking to him more. If he doesn't return your feelings, that's okay. There's other guys out there too for you.
This is coming from someone who's had experience with guys.
we've been talking on skype for several weeks now, and no, he's single.
Okay, well, if I were you, I'd talk to him a little longer and try to really get to know him. Since this online, you really need to be careful with this guy. For all you know, he could be a real creeper or something. Even if you both skyped, he could be pretending or something. People can do that. You never know with guys, especially ones online.
I've had some bad experiences with guys online, which is why I say that. Not saying that to discourage you or feel bad.
Like I said, body language. Watch his body language very, very carefully. With guys, what they say sometimes contradicts how they act out. Guys are very, confusing people. They say this, then they do that.
Well there, at least you know that. So that'll take some nerves off of you. Don't have to worry about that.
I've had some bad experiences with guys online, which is why I say that. Not saying that to discourage you or feel bad.
Like I said, body language. Watch his body language very, very carefully. With guys, what they say sometimes contradicts how they act out. Guys are very, confusing people. They say this, then they do that.
Well there, at least you know that. So that'll take some nerves off of you. Don't have to worry about that.
he's not a cis guy, he's trans. (so not like...a stereotypical male at all) and the creepers are always so obvious to spot tbh
Yeah, okay. I'm just letting you know ahead of time.
Just go for it, take the chance before it's too late.
I might. ;u; reading everyone's replies here I'm probably going to sometime soon. whenever the timing seems right.