How Do You Cope With Traumatic Past Events?
Just curious to ask to be honest, about how people deal with traumatic things that have happened in their past? I want to see what things I can try. I'm in counselling, have been for over a year. I am doing things she is suggesting, but want to know what other people have done. I understand a lot of people write or talk about their pasts, sometimes that helps me and sometimes it sets me off and makes me worse. I am on medication which is treating my moderate to severe depression and social anxiety. I am constantly dealing with my organ illnesses I have anyway.
But the past events I'm having trouble with coping with is things that have happened to me concerning men when I was 12. I won't go into it too much, but all I'll say is, emotional and physical abuse. In terms of black mail, groping and rape from a 16 year old. Many people have suggested pressing charges, but there really isn't any point. There is no evidence except for what the affects have been on me over the years. I've only now decided to bring it up in counselling so it's quite raw for me at the moment. But I just feel dirty and soiled all the time, and even though I was 12, I feel like I did something to provoke him. Even though really there was nothing I could have done, because I was young and frightened. And said no several times. How have other people coped with living with what happened to them in the past? I know many say accept it, and I've tried. It's just really hard sometimes. I feel sick when other men look at me and shake inside, and feel horrible.
Thank you to anyone that comments, means a lot.
But the past events I'm having trouble with coping with is things that have happened to me concerning men when I was 12. I won't go into it too much, but all I'll say is, emotional and physical abuse. In terms of black mail, groping and rape from a 16 year old. Many people have suggested pressing charges, but there really isn't any point. There is no evidence except for what the affects have been on me over the years. I've only now decided to bring it up in counselling so it's quite raw for me at the moment. But I just feel dirty and soiled all the time, and even though I was 12, I feel like I did something to provoke him. Even though really there was nothing I could have done, because I was young and frightened. And said no several times. How have other people coped with living with what happened to them in the past? I know many say accept it, and I've tried. It's just really hard sometimes. I feel sick when other men look at me and shake inside, and feel horrible.
Thank you to anyone that comments, means a lot.
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as you say there is always a difference on how you feel and how you think, things are, and how you should feel. I think you are in right to feel whatever you want, but its no good that you add pain to things, maybe away is letting things go, and assume that bad things happens to people no matter who they are. in this case you are the one who suffered something, but will or should it affect your life from now on? you see how poeple is, but you can chose how you want to be, to do better than other, and to prove you can be better than others, I think that is the way you react to bad, its that you need to fight evil with good, so you try to get best for you and for the ones you care, no matter what pain or suffering someone tried to inflict to you.
I was dealing with almost the exact same thing for a time. 4 years.
Everyone handles things and responds to things differently, so what worked for one person may not work for another, as I'm sure you know.
Yes, this past year was a hell of a struggle for me but I am getting past it, because I chose to face it head-on and deal with it as much as possible. I am not suggesting this method. It worked best for me, but it is not always the best choice. I'm not going to say, "Get over it," as that is not what I did and it would be horrible to suggest such to another.
Of course, there are a lot of conflicting emotions I'm sure you deal with every day. For me it was self-loathing, confusion, anger, hopelessness, depression and panic. These are not easy to get over. I dealt with it by changing how I view it, but it still gets to me sometimes. I fear the majority of men as well.
Sorry if I'm bad at expressing myself, I just want you to know that you're not alone.
I hope that you can find the best possible way to eventually move past this. 
Everyone handles things and responds to things differently, so what worked for one person may not work for another, as I'm sure you know.
Yes, this past year was a hell of a struggle for me but I am getting past it, because I chose to face it head-on and deal with it as much as possible. I am not suggesting this method. It worked best for me, but it is not always the best choice. I'm not going to say, "Get over it," as that is not what I did and it would be horrible to suggest such to another.
Of course, there are a lot of conflicting emotions I'm sure you deal with every day. For me it was self-loathing, confusion, anger, hopelessness, depression and panic. These are not easy to get over. I dealt with it by changing how I view it, but it still gets to me sometimes. I fear the majority of men as well.
Sorry if I'm bad at expressing myself, I just want you to know that you're not alone.
I hope that you can find the best possible way to eventually move past this. 
I would try to sleep it off. It doesn't always work, but it can be a temporary escape. Emphasis on the temporary escape; it won't solve your problems, only relieve you of them for a short period of time. Like painkillers.
It's a good thing you still feel those emotions. That way you know you haven't gone all twisted inside.
My advice? Distract yourself until the distractions become more important from what you're distracting yourself from.
It's a good thing you still feel those emotions. That way you know you haven't gone all twisted inside.
My advice? Distract yourself until the distractions become more important from what you're distracting yourself from.
Yeah I end up sleeping so much and I can't get out of bed some days, it's sad really. 
No matter how hard I try I can't get myself out of bed some days. I do enjoy sleep,
but even then I have nightmares sadly. So I'm even scared of sleeping a lot of the time.
I guess that's true.
Thank you
No matter how hard I try I can't get myself out of bed some days. I do enjoy sleep,
but even then I have nightmares sadly. So I'm even scared of sleeping a lot of the time.
I guess that's true.
Thank you
I usually draw, crochet, or listen to music. I never was too happy about the idea of talking to people about my problems. Just anything to keep my mind busy, you know?
Sometimes talking works for me, other times it doesn't. But I agree
on keeping your mind busy
on keeping your mind busy
honestly, bad and good things will happen to all of us at some point. I'd say that acceptance of such events is the real key. realize what happened, and then realize what didn't happen, and know that there is still so much more to life than the stones that we find. writing as you mentioned does actually help to vent and facilitates healing, as do most other things; drawing, music, swimming, etc.
if we allow negativity to consume us, we'll only rot ourselves. we have to find strength from what we go through, and use it to create happiness for ourselves instead.
if we allow negativity to consume us, we'll only rot ourselves. we have to find strength from what we go through, and use it to create happiness for ourselves instead.
Thank you so much for all your help Really means a lot
Really means a lotno problem
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Oh I'm sorry to hear it
Instead of asking, "How could they do that?" Ask, "How could I do that?" Empathy can inspire forgiveness.
Thank you
I found that a combination of talking to a therapist and taking the right meds, helped me cope with my PTSD the best.
Thank you hun
You talk about them, you annalize them, you see other's stories from similar situations, you face your fears (example bad dreams, stress) and encourage positivity. You look at them and think- this bad thing happened because of this or because of this person now what have I learned from it? I'm not in this position now, thank god I'm not gonna let this hold me back because now I'm or now I've got _________. Eventually you'll stop caring about them and move on.
I was sexually abused by grandfather when I was little -somewhere between 5 and 8 years old, I can't even remember at what age it happened-. Honestly, nothing I tried or that my therapists suggested helped me cope. Hell, the therapists made it worse. For me, only time is healing me. The scars will last for a life time: I'll always be afraid of men in general, I'll always be afraid of the dark and being alone. But at least I'm not crying over it every day, I don't believe it was my fault any more, and I don't want to kill myself. Time makes everything better n_n
I'm sorry to hear about your past, and maybe time is the only thing that will work
I had a different experience that may have some insight.
My sister was raped by a guy I thought was my friend. He did this while I was a sleep in the same room. I was 13 at the time. My poor sister laid there, not making a noise because she thought "I would go to jail for killing him". I ended up hating myself because I thought she didn't wake me because she didn't think I would protect her.
I carried a self hate around that was so unhealthy for me. I would get angry and hurt those close to me, because I couldn't stand to look at myself. I drove myself into drugs and violence. Years later in a twist of horrible fate, I ended becoming a rape victim myself. My sister and I talked to professionals about it.
Then after, my sister and I talked about our experiences and what had happened. It helped us to move forward. It brought us closer together and I am glad we were able to move forward.
Now I am doing much better, and my angry outbursts have completely disappeared. However, I get haunted at times, because you never forget.
It is not your fault. Victims often blame themselves. This is why you need to speak to a professional. Good luck
Talking about it starts out painful but gets better.
My sister was raped by a guy I thought was my friend. He did this while I was a sleep in the same room. I was 13 at the time. My poor sister laid there, not making a noise because she thought "I would go to jail for killing him". I ended up hating myself because I thought she didn't wake me because she didn't think I would protect her.
I carried a self hate around that was so unhealthy for me. I would get angry and hurt those close to me, because I couldn't stand to look at myself. I drove myself into drugs and violence. Years later in a twist of horrible fate, I ended becoming a rape victim myself. My sister and I talked to professionals about it.
Then after, my sister and I talked about our experiences and what had happened. It helped us to move forward. It brought us closer together and I am glad we were able to move forward.
Now I am doing much better, and my angry outbursts have completely disappeared. However, I get haunted at times, because you never forget.
It is not your fault. Victims often blame themselves. This is why you need to speak to a professional. Good luck
Talking about it starts out painful but gets better.
I'm so sorry for your experiences That must have been so difficult
That must have been so difficultThing is, after talking to a therapist and my sister about it I moved forward. I'm not haunted like I was before, spewing hate and punching through things. I am now calm, collect and generally very happy. Talk to a professional, they can help. Both me and my Sister have, and we are very thankful for it.
Ah I'll talk to my therapist about it more Thank you
Thank you
I talk about it, a lot. And not just to friends: I will openly talk about it to everyone I meet, whether I know them or not.
I wish I wasn't so scared of everyone judging me, or thinking I'm something
I'm not.
I'm not.