Regretting Loss of Virginity.
I'm not pregnant. I would be really surprised if I was, I've only had sex twice in my life so far and both times neither me nor my boyfriend "finished". (we were protected, too.) But not having my period in a while (about a month since the first time) is really starting to scare me and that's not even all of it.
I'm just regretting this decision because I thought sex would be enjoyable and wouldn't have consequences if I was careful. It wasn't fun at all for either of us and I feel pretty bad now for going along and doing something that really was a big decision. I'm hoping my boyfriend will agree with us probably not having sex again for a long time... at the very least, not until I have a job and gotten my life more on track.
So, I was wondering if anyone else had feelings like mine- disappointment, shame and worry. Is it normal to feel this way? Is this something a lot of young women go through or am I alone in this?
If you have any advice or stories, please share them below- if not, thanks for reading anyway.
I'm just regretting this decision because I thought sex would be enjoyable and wouldn't have consequences if I was careful. It wasn't fun at all for either of us and I feel pretty bad now for going along and doing something that really was a big decision. I'm hoping my boyfriend will agree with us probably not having sex again for a long time... at the very least, not until I have a job and gotten my life more on track.
So, I was wondering if anyone else had feelings like mine- disappointment, shame and worry. Is it normal to feel this way? Is this something a lot of young women go through or am I alone in this?
If you have any advice or stories, please share them below- if not, thanks for reading anyway.
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I don't know how old are you but you seem young. It's really normal to have an irregular period, specially when you're feeling stressed, which clearly you are.
I don't believe you're pregnant, but do a pregnancy test anyway because when you see that you have nothing to worry about you'll be a lot calmer and your period will come. I tell you this as a personal experience.
If you don't want to have sex for a while you need to talk and be honest with your boyfriend. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.
I can tell you one thing.. In the beginning sex might disappoint you a little bit and it might not be good at all. But with time, experience and confidence it gets really really really great.
If you don't feel ready for it don't do it. Try to get to know your body a little bit first, find out what exactly you like and how you like it. Explore your sexuality alone and then you'll feel ready to share it with your partner
I don't believe you're pregnant, but do a pregnancy test anyway because when you see that you have nothing to worry about you'll be a lot calmer and your period will come. I tell you this as a personal experience.
If you don't want to have sex for a while you need to talk and be honest with your boyfriend. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.
I can tell you one thing.. In the beginning sex might disappoint you a little bit and it might not be good at all. But with time, experience and confidence it gets really really really great.
If you don't feel ready for it don't do it. Try to get to know your body a little bit first, find out what exactly you like and how you like it. Explore your sexuality alone and then you'll feel ready to share it with your partner
I have to laugh, I'm sorry! When I lost my virginity with my girlfriend it didn't feel good at all, as you say. I was worried because everyone said it was the best thing but to us it just... sucked. So we tried it again to no avail and no "elation" that we were supposed to get. So we also agree to not have sex for a long time. Until we had sex the next week and it started feeling alright. Then the next time it felt slightly good. And then the next time it felt pretty good. Then the next time it felt good. Then very good, then great, the the best thing ever. I don't know how old you are, but if you're anywhere near 15 - 23, it'll definitely suck at first but as your relationship may dictate, or even your hormones, you're gonna try again and it'll feel better. Sometimes, emotional and verbal intimacy just isn't enough and "making love" is the best way to show eachother how you feel. This is from my experience! I mean everyone is different, but unless something is fundamentally wrong, it'll get better.
As for missing your period, ironically, the stress from missing your period could be the very thing that is making you miss your period. Y'know?
As for missing your period, ironically, the stress from missing your period could be the very thing that is making you miss your period. Y'know?
Personally, I don't feel like this, but I did when I first lost it. I don't deal with pain very well. It took me 6 months with my then boyfriend to actually do it again. After that, it was great. I didn't regret it because I wasn't ready, because I was, I wasn't scared or anything. It's just that I cannot deal with any sort of pain.
But you're defiantly not alone. Sadly, there is nothing you can do about it now, what done is done. We all wish we could have a time machine but the brutal honest truth is that we don't.
For most of us girls, the first time we did it, it was terrible and it hurt like hell. Second time, the same, but it does get better...
BUT
Don't do it because you feel like you have too. If you feel you need to wait a few weeks, months, years even, make sure you do it for you and don't make the same mistake again.
But you're defiantly not alone. Sadly, there is nothing you can do about it now, what done is done. We all wish we could have a time machine but the brutal honest truth is that we don't.
For most of us girls, the first time we did it, it was terrible and it hurt like hell. Second time, the same, but it does get better...
BUT
Don't do it because you feel like you have too. If you feel you need to wait a few weeks, months, years even, make sure you do it for you and don't make the same mistake again.
I'm not a girl, so idk what you're going through and this is MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION, NOT FACT (cruise control off).
I will say this though:
I do believe you are overreacting a bit. The reason I say this is because I had that feeling of "I gotta get my life on track" was when I was living at a drug house and I was just getting high on various drugs all day. Sex is nothing. You'll have sex many more times, and it will be enjoyable, and NO it won't make you a slut. Sex is just natural biology, and it's really awkward and painful at first, hell you might feel embarrassed that you were naked and sweaty with someone; but take it from me, your life is not going to spiral out of control over sex. You can have sex and a great on track life. Now me, I was coked out and high out of my mind on acid, missing work, missing school, my life was going down the shitter and it sure wasn't over sex.
What I'm trying to say is don't be ashamed and don't worry about getting pregnant because:
A) You both didn't cum
B) You wore a condom
Good luck!
I will say this though:
I do believe you are overreacting a bit. The reason I say this is because I had that feeling of "I gotta get my life on track" was when I was living at a drug house and I was just getting high on various drugs all day. Sex is nothing. You'll have sex many more times, and it will be enjoyable, and NO it won't make you a slut. Sex is just natural biology, and it's really awkward and painful at first, hell you might feel embarrassed that you were naked and sweaty with someone; but take it from me, your life is not going to spiral out of control over sex. You can have sex and a great on track life. Now me, I was coked out and high out of my mind on acid, missing work, missing school, my life was going down the shitter and it sure wasn't over sex.
What I'm trying to say is don't be ashamed and don't worry about getting pregnant because:
A) You both didn't cum
B) You wore a condom
Good luck!
Thanks. That honestly was pretty reassuring to read, and it's not really a difference that you're not a girl. 
Sex concerns both genders, after all, and I'm open to hearing from everyone most of the time.
Sex concerns both genders, after all, and I'm open to hearing from everyone most of the time.
No matter what you do, dont ever think your own decision to have sex, and your own regret after that, is rape. Because it's not.
That's all I have to say.
That's all I have to say.
That's not really the point of this. I never implied that it was.
If that's all you have to say, then it's best to say nothing at all. 
No one on here said anything anything of the sort, especially not the OP. 
Chill out.
Chill out.
I've heard that the first couple times with sex is always bad, by being awkward/painful/boring. I wouldn't know myself, but it's just what I've heard from others.
I would advise you to take a pregnancy test.
I would advise you to take a pregnancy test.
Thanks for the advice.
Sigh... if my period hasn't come back by the time my boyfriend is back in town (he left for a family trip a few days ago >.<) then I'll get one. I've read that stress and even being afraid of the possibility of pregnancy can inhibit a woman's cycle, and again, it's really, really unlikely that the worst has happened. Even if it has, there are ways to deal with that, too, but no use worrying until I know for sure.
Sigh... if my period hasn't come back by the time my boyfriend is back in town (he left for a family trip a few days ago >.<) then I'll get one. I've read that stress and even being afraid of the possibility of pregnancy can inhibit a woman's cycle, and again, it's really, really unlikely that the worst has happened. Even if it has, there are ways to deal with that, too, but no use worrying until I know for sure.
If you don't want it, don't have it. I think its best you talk to your boyfriend about it and be firm.
And if he consents to your wishes, even then be sure to keep protection with you at all times. For insurance in dealing with the spontaneous moments.
And if he consents to your wishes, even then be sure to keep protection with you at all times. For insurance in dealing with the spontaneous moments.
Thanks.
Don't have sex again until you're absolutely sure you want it. Don't be afraid of saying no. This way, even if it's still not awesome, at least you're less likely to regret it. This is something I learned through experience.
Don't be ashamed. It seems that you did it because you thought you were ready, when you weren't. If that's the case, well, maybe you made a mistake, but mistakes aren't shameful, because you can learn from them. If you're ashamed for religious reasons, of course, that's another thing, and I won't try to provide advice because I'm not religious so chances are I'd say something wrong. ^^" Just make sure that the way you feel is consistent with your own beliefs and not just with how other people say you should feel.
I don't see how you could be pregnant (if you were protected with a physical barrier like a condom, and it didn't crack), but apparently it's stressing you (and the stress might be what's causing the period delay), so if pregnancy tests are an option, take one, so that you'll stop thinking about what-if scenarios. That's what I'd do if I were you. Be careful though - make sure enough time has passed for the test to be effective. This way, you'll be ENTIRELY sure. ^^
And I second the idea of experimenting on your own. It helped me a lot, so it might help you as well.
Also, I can't go into too much detail here (I wish I could), but basically... not all women are physically able to experience pleasure from the usual thing-going-into-a-hole sex. Some need other forms of stimulation, and it's NORMAL. I'm not saying that such is the case with you (I wouldn't know), but that's where self-exploration can be useful - you'll find out.
Don't be ashamed. It seems that you did it because you thought you were ready, when you weren't. If that's the case, well, maybe you made a mistake, but mistakes aren't shameful, because you can learn from them. If you're ashamed for religious reasons, of course, that's another thing, and I won't try to provide advice because I'm not religious so chances are I'd say something wrong. ^^" Just make sure that the way you feel is consistent with your own beliefs and not just with how other people say you should feel.
I don't see how you could be pregnant (if you were protected with a physical barrier like a condom, and it didn't crack), but apparently it's stressing you (and the stress might be what's causing the period delay), so if pregnancy tests are an option, take one, so that you'll stop thinking about what-if scenarios. That's what I'd do if I were you. Be careful though - make sure enough time has passed for the test to be effective. This way, you'll be ENTIRELY sure. ^^
And I second the idea of experimenting on your own. It helped me a lot, so it might help you as well.
Also, I can't go into too much detail here (I wish I could), but basically... not all women are physically able to experience pleasure from the usual thing-going-into-a-hole sex. Some need other forms of stimulation, and it's NORMAL. I'm not saying that such is the case with you (I wouldn't know), but that's where self-exploration can be useful - you'll find out.
Look, first times are shit!
Me and my first bf were together for 5 years and I had my first orgasm with my second bf... Then I foud out it was fun!
Maybe you are not the right for each other!
Take it easy and do what YOU want to do
Me and my first bf were together for 5 years and I had my first orgasm with my second bf... Then I foud out it was fun!
Maybe you are not the right for each other!
Take it easy and do what YOU want to do
I would first like to inform you that you just can't put something in a hole and call it sex, you don't know how to do it so of course it's going to be disappointing and shitty.
If you don't want to do it again, that's up to you. Wait until you're older before trying again and maybe try exploring that sexuality of yours in other ways first.
A young lady's period fluxes before falling into a pattern. If you were wondering if you've already had a test.
Don't feel ashamed for doing it. That's societal bullshit breathing down your neck. Being a virgin doesn't make you "PURE" or a good person.
If you don't want to do it again, that's up to you. Wait until you're older before trying again and maybe try exploring that sexuality of yours in other ways first.
A young lady's period fluxes before falling into a pattern. If you were wondering if you've already had a test.
Don't feel ashamed for doing it. That's societal bullshit breathing down your neck. Being a virgin doesn't make you "PURE" or a good person.
Well, I have been having my period for almost eight years now. This year, though, it's been less regular than normal but there's a few reasons I can think of for that- elevated stress, being very lightweight, a change in my lifestyle (I graduated high school this year) and of course having sex for the first time. Usually I was quite regular but I don't time my periods (something I should start doing!) and I have skipped a few for various reasons.
Thanks, and I agree. I guess it's just how my mother feels about it- she's pretty much the "abstinence-only" type with me, even though my younger brother has a girlfriend and he had sex way before I did. I know I have no real reason to be ashamed about it, it's just kind of hard to shrug off with my mother preaching to me.
Thanks, and I agree. I guess it's just how my mother feels about it- she's pretty much the "abstinence-only" type with me, even though my younger brother has a girlfriend and he had sex way before I did.
I know I have no real reason to be ashamed about it, it's just kind of hard to shrug off with my mother preaching to me.unfortunately- this is one of many things for a young lady to realize. The world is sexist and a lot of people you know and trust will agree with it.
Why is it okay for the bro? "cause he's a boy and you're a girl. It's okay for boys because it makes them a man, it's bad for young ladies because PREGANTS and SLUTZ"
As a thought to get some peace, maybe you could try having a conversation with your mother or father (or both) about their first times and what they went through. Maybe you could find something in the conversation to relate to, to get them to understand how it's really not a big deal.
Why is it okay for the bro? "cause he's a boy and you're a girl. It's okay for boys because it makes them a man, it's bad for young ladies because PREGANTS and SLUTZ"
As a thought to get some peace, maybe you could try having a conversation with your mother or father (or both) about their first times and what they went through. Maybe you could find something in the conversation to relate to, to get them to understand how it's really not a big deal.
Hi, sexism is not a good thing so let's not go down that road. Leave men out of this. Men are equal to women and men are just as wonderful and amazing and good as women.
As a supporter of equality, people like you disgust me. Shame on you; sexism is not right.
As a supporter of equality, people like you disgust me. Shame on you; sexism is not right.
Ahem- hello. You are an absolute retard. Now you may block me because I don't wanna see your face or your ridiculous tard comments again.
have fun. I aint blocking
Then I'll block you like you did for absolutely no reason on my other account.
I think everyone has already said what I wanted to say, but I just wanted to emphasise how it's not going to be perfect the first time, or even the first ten times. As others have said, communication, patience, trust, and more will help here.
Thank you very much. I will keep that advice in mind.
I will keep that advice in mind.