I Don't Care About Art Anymore and I Feel Conflicted Over the "New" and "Old" Me.
I was an aspiring artist many years ago, but now I am no longer interested in art. I don't doodle that much anymore, either. I find my interests changing so much now, and I almost don't like it. I still use this website occasionally because I am not very social and I need a forum of some kind to vent and chat with people. However, I have been feeling unworthy of being here as I am no longer an active or aspiring artist.
My love for art mainly blossomed in seventh grade when I started getting into anime and video games. I took up fan art and fan fiction as major hobbies and my art skills really only developed because of that. In ninth grade my life plan was to become a graphic designer and now I am in my fourth year of college (but still working on my associate's degree, which is pathetic I know) and I find my interest in those things dwindling significantly. I tried taking up video games and art again, but now I feel like they are just time wasters. I feel conflicted inside because I know I wasted so much time back in school, and because I don't want to let go of my old self. This website was the first one I ever joined and it was like a home to me. I am also no longer "compatible" with people I used to know and the types of people I used to associate with, thus creating more conflicting feelings within me.
Now, how can I say this? I care more about "real life" now. I am thinking of buckling down and getting my bachelor's degree in the next two years and then possibly graduate school. I am pursuing something serious and possibly might go into research or become a teacher. I feel like this new "serious" me cannot keep dabbling in these childish things. I still want to replay some of my old video games and there are some art projects I always wanted to do but never did, but I feel like it just conflicts with the new me and I almost hate the new me, because I have literally almost become a new person in just...less than two years? Really, my entire life's goals and so many things about me has changed that quickly once I discovered a new discipline (anthropology) and have decided that I might want to dedicate my life to this.
I still want to be here because I enjoy the forums, but I feel unworthy of being here. People on here have been constant artists throughout their lives and I was artistic since first grade, but within the past few years my interest in art just stopped completely and I have developed an entirely new set of interests. This makes me feel like I was never truly an artist, as so many people I see on here (checking out their pages) are art students and some of them go to highly ranked art colleges. Help? Advice?
My love for art mainly blossomed in seventh grade when I started getting into anime and video games. I took up fan art and fan fiction as major hobbies and my art skills really only developed because of that. In ninth grade my life plan was to become a graphic designer and now I am in my fourth year of college (but still working on my associate's degree, which is pathetic I know) and I find my interest in those things dwindling significantly. I tried taking up video games and art again, but now I feel like they are just time wasters. I feel conflicted inside because I know I wasted so much time back in school, and because I don't want to let go of my old self. This website was the first one I ever joined and it was like a home to me. I am also no longer "compatible" with people I used to know and the types of people I used to associate with, thus creating more conflicting feelings within me.
Now, how can I say this? I care more about "real life" now. I am thinking of buckling down and getting my bachelor's degree in the next two years and then possibly graduate school. I am pursuing something serious and possibly might go into research or become a teacher. I feel like this new "serious" me cannot keep dabbling in these childish things. I still want to replay some of my old video games and there are some art projects I always wanted to do but never did, but I feel like it just conflicts with the new me and I almost hate the new me, because I have literally almost become a new person in just...less than two years? Really, my entire life's goals and so many things about me has changed that quickly once I discovered a new discipline (anthropology) and have decided that I might want to dedicate my life to this.
I still want to be here because I enjoy the forums, but I feel unworthy of being here. People on here have been constant artists throughout their lives and I was artistic since first grade, but within the past few years my interest in art just stopped completely and I have developed an entirely new set of interests. This makes me feel like I was never truly an artist, as so many people I see on here (checking out their pages) are art students and some of them go to highly ranked art colleges. Help? Advice?
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I don't think that every single person is an artist in DA, I think there are lots of different people who find the site interesting. Some like watching art, some enjoy creating art, and others use the forum to chat. At least 3 categories with that said.
It's not bad or abnormal that you changed, it's good. If you know what makes you happy, then go for it.
It's not bad or abnormal that you changed, it's good. If you know what makes you happy, then go for it.
People's interests change. Honestly, thinking more seriously about real life is a sign of maturity, and is something that more people should do.
Be whoever you want to be, as long is it makes you happy. You don't have to mold yourself to anyone's expectations but your own.
Be whoever you want to be, as long is it makes you happy. You don't have to mold yourself to anyone's expectations but your own.
You shouldn't feel unworthy of being anywhere...
But really how worthy does one have to be to HAVE a DA account?
You just need an e mail address
You don't even need to post art up. I didn't for several months...
It's all about perspective
Or perhaps... If you feel unworthy
You feel that you haven't actually accomplished anything in art-- or that you haven't gotten where you wanted to go to...
Sounds pretty normal...
Just enjoy the art and fave it. No one is going to force you to post anything. You don't even have to be "good"..
But really how worthy does one have to be to HAVE a DA account?
You just need an e mail address
You don't even need to post art up. I didn't for several months...
It's all about perspective
Or perhaps... If you feel unworthy
You feel that you haven't actually accomplished anything in art-- or that you haven't gotten where you wanted to go to...
Sounds pretty normal...
Just enjoy the art and fave it. No one is going to force you to post anything. You don't even have to be "good"..
Good point. You can still understand and enjoy art without actually making art at all. I work in computer science (a very non-artistic and technical career field), yet art is still a large part of my life because I love escapism and telling stories that inspire both myself and others.
It's ok to take a break, you know. I kinda feel the way you do about music. I used to sing every day (almost 
) and go to singing classes, I even got in a band, than bummer: I realized I enjoyed being social more than being alone with my hobby... so it's not like I abandoned my passion, I still listen to music, make recordings and stuff like that, even try to play the guitar 
but overall I have other things to do. You should not see your situation as a problem. It's just a step towards your development. You'll always have your art, but you'll miss out other things if you get stuck in a single hobby that eventually will drain your imagination away from you. Take a break, find some other things to do, and if you still turn to your art when you'll have other options, you will know that you are still an artist. I hate to say this, but sometimes when we're young we get so set upon a hobby or a future we imagine, that we don't realize that maybe it's not what we want to do for the rest of our lives. Maybe you were an artist in the 7th grade, maybe you've changed in the meantime.
) and go to singing classes, I even got in a band, than bummer: I realized I enjoyed being social more than being alone with my hobby... so it's not like I abandoned my passion, I still listen to music, make recordings and stuff like that, even try to play the guitar but overall I have other things to do. You should not see your situation as a problem. It's just a step towards your development. You'll always have your art, but you'll miss out other things if you get stuck in a single hobby that eventually will drain your imagination away from you. Take a break, find some other things to do, and if you still turn to your art when you'll have other options, you will know that you are still an artist. I hate to say this, but sometimes when we're young we get so set upon a hobby or a future we imagine, that we don't realize that maybe it's not what we want to do for the rest of our lives. Maybe you were an artist in the 7th grade, maybe you've changed in the meantime.
I do relate to you, the more you get older the more you have to give up your old passion hobbies anime. video games and art for the sake of your current priorities.
When I entered College, I literally stopped drawing for 5 years, and I really don't have time for art, but when I graduated I got more freedom to do art as a hobby.
It really depends on your artistic goals, perhaps you haven't got an art direction that's why you chose to give it up, or you just haven't been inspired enough.
For sure there will come a point in time that I"ll also retire as an artist hobbyist, especially when I have a lot of adult responsibilities. but a funny things is , once you have a talent or skill in art, it will never fade away, it's been a huge history of your life, so I suggest when your free , don't kill artistic journey. art helped me get through my life struggles, it's good outlet of stress , and relaxation.
When I entered College, I literally stopped drawing for 5 years, and I really don't have time for art, but when I graduated I got more freedom to do art as a hobby.
It really depends on your artistic goals, perhaps you haven't got an art direction that's why you chose to give it up, or you just haven't been inspired enough.
For sure there will come a point in time that I"ll also retire as an artist hobbyist, especially when I have a lot of adult responsibilities. but a funny things is , once you have a talent or skill in art, it will never fade away, it's been a huge history of your life, so I suggest when your free , don't kill artistic journey. art helped me get through my life struggles, it's good outlet of stress , and relaxation.
Well first of all I think this is pretty normal. Everyone changes and in that age even more!! You think "only in 2 years everything has changed, I'm a different person" well that not only happens, it has to happen. When you grow up you set goals, discover things, you are passionate about different things! I'll put my example: I had been playing piano for 13 years and violin for 5 years when I had to stop doing it because I had no time. At first I was telling myself, okay I'm leaving this because I have no time, but the truth was that I wasn't as passionate about it as before but I was lucky I didn't expect to become a prefessional player so that even though leaving it was hard, it didn't "destroy" my goals. Now at first it's hard because you feel like so insecure, what am I going to do now that my hobbies have changed?, now that when I have time I don't feel like going to play piano or violin?? Well, humans need things to keep themselves occupied so we easily find any other things. It might take longer for some people but what tou have to do is ACCEPT it, ask yourself, why is it that I don't enjoy drawing/making art anymore?? Is it because I'm disappointed with myself?? Is it because I don't find it useful?? But even though you think your answer isn't very explanatory you just have to let it go. In the end it's about what you feel.
And the good thing is you say that all happened when you discovered that new subject that you liked even to the point of thinking about making it you profession. There you have it!!! So let me tell you the major problem is solved.
Now the way you feel with yourself...nobody can help you with that, only you. No one can tell you do this, do that and you'll feel better, you feel like that because of this......everyone's different, the only thing that can make tou feel better is the fact that it's necessary and even better it's GOOD! Eveyrone goes thorught that, even those who you see as kids thinking "I'm going to be a doctor" and they end up becoming a doctor and they're so passionate about it.
Don't push yourself to do or stop doing something. If it's legal and moral, go ahead and do it hahaha! As I said before no one can tell you to stop feeling the way you feel but you can make it rational.
I've passed through that and I'm still going through it and I know it'll never stop but I'm happy to see that now a lot of times I think to myself, how wonderful is growing up! I left music which occupied almost all my leisure time. The other part was occupied by art. I slowly started losing that pasison about art because I thought and I think I'm not good enough and even though I like it I don't think it's that much to be my profession. I kind of rediscovered sport and it's now a HUGE part of my life. Running, cycling, swimming, weights... sport makes your life 100 times better, more energy, more self confidence, you meet people, you push your limits, you set goals and work to achieve them. Then I kind of started being more active with art.... and then the last year of college came (Here in Spain the school things are different so I'll explain). That's the previous year before university and it's so freaking stressing! At the end of that year you have an official exam which will determinate your access note for university. During that year I had no idea what I wanted to study and I ended up having no idea what to study but I kind of though about Medicine... I had had that in mind during all that year and because the note for that degree is sooooooooooo sooooooo high, I had been working so hard for it. I got a really high note 11,99 but in the last list the note to join the degree was 12,2. And then suddenly I was like OMG what the hell am I going to do?? WT******************** I'm not going to university, what am I going to do, what a fail...I'm such an idiot.... and even more, I started studying again to repeat the test a month and a half later. I passed all the summer holidays studying again to improve just a tiny bit my note knowing that even if I surpassed it, I just would be able to join Medicine the year after. So I got a 12,54 and I decided to take a gap year, which still frightens me as hell. I'm doing languages like crazy this year but all my classmates are gone, my friends are in other cities...I'm kind of a little alone, thinking I still have no idea what to do hahahaha but you know why I'm not really concerned?? I've learnt that you don't have to push yourself to do or stop doing something. We have to discover the things we like, we have to experiment and try, make mistakes and enjoy the journey to be happy.
One last "advice" don't take it too seriouslly!!!
And the good thing is you say that all happened when you discovered that new subject that you liked even to the point of thinking about making it you profession. There you have it!!! So let me tell you the major problem is solved.
Now the way you feel with yourself...nobody can help you with that, only you. No one can tell you do this, do that and you'll feel better, you feel like that because of this......everyone's different, the only thing that can make tou feel better is the fact that it's necessary and even better it's GOOD! Eveyrone goes thorught that, even those who you see as kids thinking "I'm going to be a doctor" and they end up becoming a doctor and they're so passionate about it.
Don't push yourself to do or stop doing something. If it's legal and moral, go ahead and do it hahaha! As I said before no one can tell you to stop feeling the way you feel but you can make it rational.
I've passed through that and I'm still going through it and I know it'll never stop but I'm happy to see that now a lot of times I think to myself, how wonderful is growing up! I left music which occupied almost all my leisure time. The other part was occupied by art. I slowly started losing that pasison about art because I thought and I think I'm not good enough and even though I like it I don't think it's that much to be my profession. I kind of rediscovered sport and it's now a HUGE part of my life. Running, cycling, swimming, weights... sport makes your life 100 times better, more energy, more self confidence, you meet people, you push your limits, you set goals and work to achieve them. Then I kind of started being more active with art.... and then the last year of college came (Here in Spain the school things are different so I'll explain). That's the previous year before university and it's so freaking stressing! At the end of that year you have an official exam which will determinate your access note for university. During that year I had no idea what I wanted to study and I ended up having no idea what to study but I kind of though about Medicine... I had had that in mind during all that year and because the note for that degree is sooooooooooo sooooooo high, I had been working so hard for it. I got a really high note 11,99 but in the last list the note to join the degree was 12,2. And then suddenly I was like OMG what the hell am I going to do?? WT******************** I'm not going to university, what am I going to do, what a fail...I'm such an idiot.... and even more, I started studying again to repeat the test a month and a half later. I passed all the summer holidays studying again to improve just a tiny bit my note knowing that even if I surpassed it, I just would be able to join Medicine the year after. So I got a 12,54 and I decided to take a gap year, which still frightens me as hell. I'm doing languages like crazy this year but all my classmates are gone, my friends are in other cities...I'm kind of a little alone, thinking I still have no idea what to do hahahaha but you know why I'm not really concerned?? I've learnt that you don't have to push yourself to do or stop doing something. We have to discover the things we like, we have to experiment and try, make mistakes and enjoy the journey to be happy.
One last "advice" don't take it too seriouslly!!!
Steve Jobs took a calligraphy class as a hippy and chronic procrastinator on campus. Years later he would draw on that calligraphy experience to make Apple computer's more sophisticated and artistic than the rugged PC counter part. Even you only have a fledgling interest in art now then only dedicated the time that reflects your interests. Nothing is ever wasted.
Meh, there is no such thing as a "serious" you and "frivolous" you, there's just you. Your interests at different times in your life are going to be different. The biggest problem with it is losing the community of people that you used to surround yourself with but there's really no other choice. I've always found it somewhat boring to interact with a community I no longer have anything in common with.
I've been through this with all sorts of things, but I don't really worry about it. I'm always picking things up, obsessing about them for a few years, and then moving on to something else. Art has happened to stick with me, but it could have been anything. And if I'd dropped art I wouldn't have thought of it as moving on to "more serious" things, just different ones.
Just let life happen. Don't get tied down to labels. Don't get wrapped up in other people's expectations. Try to figure out what you would like to do most at this point and then just go do it, without feeling like you have to apologize for it. You can always go back and pick up art again if you change your mind. You can pick up a different kind of art. You can take up rock climbing instead. In the end it just boils down to how you use your limited time on Earth and the best way is to just keep moving forward and figure things out as you go.
I've been through this with all sorts of things, but I don't really worry about it. I'm always picking things up, obsessing about them for a few years, and then moving on to something else. Art has happened to stick with me, but it could have been anything. And if I'd dropped art I wouldn't have thought of it as moving on to "more serious" things, just different ones.
Just let life happen. Don't get tied down to labels. Don't get wrapped up in other people's expectations. Try to figure out what you would like to do most at this point and then just go do it, without feeling like you have to apologize for it. You can always go back and pick up art again if you change your mind. You can pick up a different kind of art. You can take up rock climbing instead. In the end it just boils down to how you use your limited time on Earth and the best way is to just keep moving forward and figure things out as you go.