mumble mumble
I need help, there is this girl. She said is in love with me, but she have several self stem issues.
What I'm afraid is: She told me: I don't deserve You, you will dump me sooner or later, my body is ugly... And stuff like that.
We are a couple since April, but we know each other 3 years ago.
I do really love her, i can't live without her. What can I do? She is suffering.
What I'm afraid is: She told me: I don't deserve You, you will dump me sooner or later, my body is ugly... And stuff like that.
We are a couple since April, but we know each other 3 years ago.
I do really love her, i can't live without her. What can I do? She is suffering.
Comments50
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u can & should show and tell her how u see her. but thats pretty much all. u cant (and also shouldnt) try to "convince" her. its gonna be like "im ugly" "no ure not" "but im ugly" "no ure not" and so on and so on... and shes prbbly just being a crazy bitch phishing for compliments then, anyway.
thing is, this "i dont deserve u, ure gonna dumb me" kinda shit. it can get too much. people with low self-esteem tend to be cowards and use such things, and dont even necessarily notice. so, sure, support her & love her & all, but dont start being careful just because "shes suffering". if u dont mean it or dont feel like saying it, dont say it, even or especially when u know she wants u to. i havent experienced one case where people saying this werent being manipulative, knowingly or not knowingly. people who r being serious about it and rly just have this fear bothering them, but dont wanna use it and also think about u in that situation, they dont say it all the time. they talk to u about it e.g. when being asked or while already having a reasonably serious conversation.
i just read u 2 broke up... well i already wrote it & im gonna send it anyway, who knows if u could use it some time.
take care
thing is, this "i dont deserve u, ure gonna dumb me" kinda shit. it can get too much. people with low self-esteem tend to be cowards and use such things, and dont even necessarily notice. so, sure, support her & love her & all, but dont start being careful just because "shes suffering". if u dont mean it or dont feel like saying it, dont say it, even or especially when u know she wants u to. i havent experienced one case where people saying this werent being manipulative, knowingly or not knowingly. people who r being serious about it and rly just have this fear bothering them, but dont wanna use it and also think about u in that situation, they dont say it all the time. they talk to u about it e.g. when being asked or while already having a reasonably serious conversation.
i just read u 2 broke up... well i already wrote it & im gonna send it anyway, who knows if u could use it some time.
take care
thanks
There's actually not much you can do other than drop a few comments here and there. Your lady friend has to realize she's okay with her body. She has to see herself as worthy. No one, and nothing can do that for her. It comes from within. 
Is okay now, we are no longer together. Thanks for your wise words, WittA
Maybe it's her way of not being hurt, IDK. Either way, show her you appreciate her! ♥
If you wanna be with her you gotta stick it out and make sure she knows you appreciate her. If you don't wanna stick with her, let her know exactly why, don't sugar coat it.
Got it :3 lovely avatar, btw.
Thanks
Her insecurity may be her own way of emotional blackmail, this is a true test of your patience and love for her, she needs to get over it because she is showing this way that she does not trust you. Believe me it gets tiring and t takes a toll emotionally, this post in this forum is just an example of it.
She needs to get over this insecurity, if you want to help her tell her that she needs to stop. Have her do something about it, what doesn't she like about her body? Everyone has insecurities and women have it easier in that department. With make up, hair styling, different looks etc. a girl can look different.
She needs to get over this insecurity, if you want to help her tell her that she needs to stop. Have her do something about it, what doesn't she like about her body? Everyone has insecurities and women have it easier in that department. With make up, hair styling, different looks etc. a girl can look different.
thanks a lot
Welcome, I just think some people hold us down someway or another, a true partner should complement you, not complete you, but make you whole and reciprocally you should do the same.
I am in a similar situation, myself...My advice is to just let her know how much you care about her and keep telling he she's beautiful. If she protests, keep persisting. As a person with low self esteem myself, that is what I would want to hear. She probably just wants confirmation.
Then I'm doing good 
Indeed you are!
Everyone in the world can tell her she's awesome every day until the end of time but it's not going to do anything for her insecurity. She needs to fix her self-esteem problems by talking to a professional. This is very deep-rooted stuff that you can't fix. You can be supportive and you can suggest that she seek professional help, but that's really all you can do here.
I know -.- is always about the money.
If you love her and she loves you then she will get past her self esteem issues with you encouraging her to love herself and with you loving her as well.
I've been in this situation before and the best thing you can do is be positive and compliment her and be supportive of her. It will take time but I think she will overcome her self esteem issues if you stick by her and tell her how you feel about her you two will make it.
I've been in this situation before and the best thing you can do is be positive and compliment her and be supportive of her. It will take time but I think she will overcome her self esteem issues if you stick by her and tell her how you feel about her you two will make it.
thanks friend
No problem man, keep us posted on what happens 
I once had a situation like this. Now we are dating, she even gets mad when I buy gifts to her because she says that I spend too much in her and it's not worth it. My answer is always "I love you and I buy you stuff because I care about you and wish you to be happy". Just let her know that you love her and if ever needs anything you'll be there.
Lovely one, thanks
I'll note you, Hun. 
Thanks friend
You should tell people who speak in spanish to you that it's not allowed in these forums. I'm from argentina so I wish I could speak in my native language but that's not the case here.
I'm in a romantic relationship, but I'm at the other side of the sprectrum. I'm the one with the self esteem issues (not that bad lately, but I have my blue days) and my boyfriend is the worried one. I think you should do as he does, and keep telling here you think she's beautiful and how much you love her. If she's fine with it, even scold her gently when she starts putting herself down.
If things get worse (she tries to self harm or something like that) you should seek professional advice. :/
I'm in a romantic relationship, but I'm at the other side of the sprectrum. I'm the one with the self esteem issues (not that bad lately, but I have my blue days) and my boyfriend is the worried one. I think you should do as he does, and keep telling here you think she's beautiful and how much you love her. If she's fine with it, even scold her gently when she starts putting herself down.
If things get worse (she tries to self harm or something like that) you should seek professional advice. :/